Artist - Album	My Stupidity	My Rating
	A - Back to Top
Alice in Chains - Jar of Flies	Remember when the grunge/Seattle scene exploded and a bunch of bands that had nothing in common all got labeled as Alternative music? Yeah, well these losers were part of that well-dressed crowd. I don't mind seeing the video for Rooster cuz it's kinda cool...the song AND the video I mean. But this Flies crap was just about the lamest thing ever. Enough with the fake-heavy gone soft garbage ballads.
At the Drive-In - Relationship of Command	I like about half of this album. The heavier stuff (like One Armed scissor) is really cool, but some of the slow stuff sucks camel.
	B - Back to Top
Barenaked Ladies - Gordon	As far as I know, this was their first album. Holy crap. I heard it like 8 years ago or some shit, and I can't believe how much I still remember about it after that 1 listen. I don't remember any of the music. I remember shivering. Cold and dark. This is Canada's best known musical representative. No wonder the U.S. laughs at us all the time.
Beherit - Messe des Morts	Think old school Burzum, but even sloppier. This is black metal at its funniest. These guys are horrible musicians backing some of the worst gutteral growls that can be imagined. The drummer's blast beats don't maintain a steady tempo, the crappy sounding guitar churns out the most elementary childish metal riffs, and surprise, surprise, the bass comes across as pure fuzz. Awesome.
Brutal Truth - Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses	An absolute classic death metal album. Contained within are some of the sickest blast beats ever, as well as some surprisingly cool guitar stuff. This album is far superior to any of their subsequent efforts, mostly due to the brutality which started to taper off with time. The only weakness on this is the vocals being a little cheesy, but wadya expect from the early 90's? I mean, the growl had only been around for a couple of years, everyone was overdoing it.
Bryan Adams - Waking Up the Neighbours	Am I supposed to have respect for this dude just cuz he's Canadian? If I remember correctly, this was the album that had his oh-so famous song from Robin Hood:Prince of Thieves. Well, anyway, this and everything Bryan does is crap. Yeah, sure, I liked it when I was a kid. I also liked throwing a tennis ball against a wall with kids from school. Whee.
Burnt by the Sun - Burnt by the Sun	This is just an EP, but it kicks fucking ass. These dudes are in the same vein as all this new east-coast stuff that's popping up that seems to be some kinda metal-hardcore hybrid (I hate labelling shit, but you can't really hear the CD through my review now, can you?). Heavy as fuck, wicked time signature work, super-intense vocals. Very violent sound. With a full-length coming soon, there's plenty to come from these dudes.
	C - Back to Top
Cannibal Corpse - Butchered at Birth	From the originators of boring, emotionless, drudging death-metal comes: The greatest death-metal album cover of all time! I can't stand their music, but there's something unbelievably cool about two ghoulish skeletal dudes hacking up the corpse of a new mother, holding her newborn baby with a dozen or so already dead babies hanging and rotting in the background. They suck, but they get a mushroom for extreme cover art.
Counting Crows - August & Everything After	Am I supposed to be counting crows? What the hell is that shit? What kinda stupid name is that? More droning from some depressed guy, singing about complete stupidities and wasting my valuable time. I've always hated these guys, but now that I'm in a pissed off mood I wish them nothing better than a slow, painful death. He seems to think that's what he's going through anyway, might as well torture him for real. Anyway, they suck.
Cypress Hill - III (Temples of Boom)	I can't believe these losers have the audacity to give individual titles to all the tracks on this shit. 'Smoke weed, smoke weed.' Take a pull off your blunt and blow it out your ass.
	D - Back to Top
Deftones - Adrenaline	This definitely isn't their most stunning performance, but I like its raw, energetic feel. The downside with the raw is that sometimes it comes up sloppy, and the songwriting itself sounds sloppy at times. Everybody loves 'Seven Words', and that's a good example of the aggressive style on this album.
Deftones - Around the Fur	This was the first Deftones I'd ever heard, and it took me about a dozen listens to not hate this album. If you're not expecting Chino's whispery, whiny vocals (I'd been told they were pretty heavy) they can sound annoying. After hearing it a bunch though, the soft crap just contrasts the all-out screaming that he goes into. And man, can he really belt it when he has to.
Deftones - White Pony	The Deftones take it down a bit, but come up with better songs and a more complete record. There's a lot less screaming and we're missing the really good intensity from Around the Fur but if you can see past the fact that this album is lighter than anticipated, it's awesome. These dudes are sick live too, Chino has awesome presence.
Deicide - Legion	How can I like Morbid Angel, but not these guys? I dunno. Maybe it's cuz they're boring. Maybe it's cuz Glen Benton's 'evil' capers get on my nerves. Regardless, it's a boring album. It starts out promising, but after a couple of tracks you really get that 'I already heard this crap' vibe. I mean, they're sick heavy, I just find they totally fail to challenge me as a listener.
Disturbed	I don't own any of their albums, nor will I ever. I saw these morons when they came to Montreal with Kittie, and it was one of the least pleasant experiences of my life. The singer is a total tithead with the most annoying stage presence. Oh yeah, and his singing sucks. The only reason these guys aren't getting a zero from me is cuz I kinda thought the music hit something original, although I was drunk at the show so I'm an unreliable witness.
DJ Krush - Cold Krush Cuts	This was a forced listen. Ganu was trying to sell me on hip-hop (even the term makes me wanna vomit), so he lends me this. It's like reeeeally chill beats with little to no rhyming. Very cool, no good to listen to while drinking beer because of its sedative effect. The fact that I like this is almost groundbreaking however because of its genre. I actually listened, which is more than anyone had anticipated. I enjoyed, which has caused much confusion on many levels. I would purchase.
	F - Back to Top
Faith No More - Introduce Yourself	Without Patton, these guys are as useless as scuba gear in the desert. That Mosely loser that sang on this (and I believe there's a preceding EP featuring Chuck 'Marbles' Mosely) sounds like he spent too much time with cock in his mouth. If you ever get to hear any of these tracks live with Patton singing (early 90's they still played this crap), it's almost bearable. This album is for idiots like me who just want to own them all.
Faith No More - The Real Thing	Whoah! All of a sudden FNM hooks up with a young, eccentric Mike Patton and they start to sound like a real band. This one has all their true classics, although it's far from being my personal fave. I find this record lacks in variety, even vocally, when compared to their later and less recognized works.
Fantomas - Fantomas	This is twisted stuff. Good ol' Mike Patton is the brain behind this stuff, which is supposed to be like the soundtrack to a comic book. They mostly do weird stuff, but there's some very grindcore stuff on this too. Of course, I think it's nothing short of completely brilliant. Nothing repeats, the mood swings violently from second to second and very little of it is catchy.
Fantomas - The Director's Cut	I have not been this impressed since the invention of those beer mugs with water inside that you keep in the freezer and then drink beer from and it stays cold for a long time due to the extremely low temperature of the glass. Patton is a genius.
Fear Factory - Soul of a New Machine	At the time of its release, this was one of the most innovative death metal albums I'd ever heard. Fear Factory added a healthy dose of technology to the metal and it came out great. What usually makes me wanna puke with bands like this is it sounds like the heavy aspect is secondary to the industrial crap, making it sound like wannabe heavy. Fear Factory were heavy (at least on this album) and pulled it all off well.
Fear Factory - Demanufacture	Most consider this Fear Factory's greatest. I like it, but it's not that great. You can already hear them losing their heaviness on this album, like they're leading the way to their dumbass 'Cars' cover.
Fear Factory - Obsolete	Here it is, the Fear Factory record where they ran out of creative ideas. There's very little good on this album. Lotsa good riffs, few good songs. Oh, and there's a really pathetic rap-metal part in one of the songs that just makes you cringe.
Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters	First listen, I hated this stupid album. Then I had this really cool acid trip with a couple of buds and this was the soundtrack. Now I love it. Go figure.
Foo Fighters - There is Nothing Left to Lose	I won this silly thing off a radio station. I still don't feel like it's worth it. If you liked all the radio hits off this one, then buy the singles (actually, that'd be more expensive wouldn't it?). There is nothing else worth listening to. There's some enhanced CD stuff on here that's cool though, including a cool little video featuring Grohl (pretending to be?) drunk and ranting about how he was in the greatest rock band ever. Funny.
	H - Back to Top
Helmet - Aftertaste	If you can dig Helmet's no frills, nothing musically impressive style, then pick this up. It's kinda cool despite being at that mid-pace tempo that, more often than not, pisses me off. It seems to alternate from one track to the next between screaming songs and chiller songs, which makes for a bit of a predictable listen, but just about every song has a cool riff or two.
	I - Back to Top
Incubus - S.C.I.E.N.C.E.	Guess what y'all? Incubus used to kick ass. This is one of my favorite all-time albums. Amazing musicianship coupled with some of the funkiest grooves I've ever heard make this a definite replay. I discovered them when they came here with Korn for Follow the Leader, during a silly phase I went through that caused me to *gasp* listen to, appreciate, and fork out perfectly good cash for Korn. The only thing I really remember from that show now is that Incubus were so good that I wanted to cry.
Incubus - Make Yourself	Yup, the Incubus story had to be too good to be true. It's not even that they wussed out, they seem to be more tired out. This album is totally lacking in the effort department, leaving us listening to simple songs with all the groove of a two by four, almost giving it an unfinished feel when compared to their earlier works. I don't want to call them sell-outs or anything like that, because from what I've heard, the band really doesn't like their old stuff. Maybe cuz their old stuff was pretty complex, but that's just my opinion.
Incubus - Morning View	This is so boring it makes me angry. I can't listen to this thing cuz it's too friggin boring. Incubus dropped the ball, they suck, and I regret ever having paid to see them live. I hope they all drown in each others semen.
	J - Back to Top
Jewel - Pieces of You	Call me a wuss, call me a sucker, call me a lover of big boobs, but I love this album. It's peaceful, beautiful and sad, and it's perfect when you need something chill to wind down to.
	K - Back to Top
Kataklysm - The Mystical Gate of Reincarnation	Although this is pretty much a full-length album, I think it was always considered to be a demo. Despite a little drum sloppiness and weakness of sound, this is one original piece of work. Don't mean to diss the dude, but Sylvain is one idiot that can really growl, scream and chant his way into earning my respect. This is classic Montreal death metal, buy it now.
Kataklysm - Sorcery	This is where they peaked. Sorcery is one sick record, the drums were cleaned up (I think they actually got a new drummer), the sound improved, the songs a little more cohesive. It's brutal as hell, still original as hell. While I still think Sylvain's an idiot, after he left this band all of their careers went down the tubes.
Korn - Follow the Leader	Obviously, I was going through some kind of crisis when I purchased this plastic disc-shaped turd. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for throwing 20 bucks at a band that deserves my money about as much as Vanilla Ice does. Some of their older stuff showed signs of potential, but they blew it. Krap.
	L - Back to Top
Lagwagon - Trashed	Wow. Very impressive guitar work from these dudes. This is exactly what I want in a punk album. It's good and fast, they don't use the words 'society' and 'conformity' till ya wanna puke, they don't cover very serious topics lyrically, they don't suck. I don't like the fact that this album's from 1994 or so, cuz they're still putting out new stuff and it's probably getting very weak.
Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin III	This is one of my favourite Zep albums, which is kinda strange since it's generally known as the 'acoustic album', and acoustic crap generally goes against my tastebuds. Maybe the only reason I dig any Zep is cuz my parents listened to it when I was a fetus, but I love it. Beautiful songwriting.
Limp Bizkit - Significant Other	Although I think that Wes Borland is one of the coolest guitarists around these days, everything else about this record reeks of posturing. Really Fred? You're gonna break my f*ckin face tonight? Man, I don't even want to get started on Mr. Durst, with his fake-as-plastic-tits pro-Napster stance and his 'discovering' new bands (thus exposing the public to more crap). He's so full of shit he's gotta wear that stupid red dunce-cap to keep the flies off his head. Oh, and talk about an irritating singing style, whiny rap is even worse than the real thing.
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory	Rumour has it these guys were put together by some fat-cat record exec to cash in on the rap-metal scam goin on. Whether that's fact or fiction I don't know, but they definitely sound like processed cheese. The first few times I heard the single One Step Closer, I thought it was cool. After listening to the whole album, I can't stand any of the songs. There's nothing new and fresh on this record, nothing original, nothing thought provoking and very little creativity. As impressive as a toilet seat.
Lovage - Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By	Finally, Patton puts out an album that I can't stand. This crap is boring, unimpressive and even annoying at times. Some track gets intro'd with some idiot talkin about socks or some crap, there's a Patton duet with some chick that sucks, it all just sucks. There's all kindsa hip-hop kinda trite on it too that does nothing but grate on the nerves.
Luddite Clone - The Arsonist and the Architect	Yeah, nice good brutal heavy stuff. These guys come from the same scene as The Dillinger Escape Plan, but I find little in common between these two bands besides a terrifically aggressive sound and style. These guys don't sound quite as refined as Dillinger which lends a more intense feel to their stuff. It's still technical as all hell, but more emphasis on the noisy distortion. Much potential here, yes?
	M - Back to Top
Massive Attack - Mezzanine	Somehow these guys are labeled trip-hop. I don't know exactly what that means, but going by what that sounds like it means, it's a label that must've come from their earlier works. I am surprised that I like this. It's very ambient, very chill. There're a few singers on this thing....I find the songs with the chick singing are the best. It sounds like Crystal Method on a morphine drip, and I'm hearing what sounds like an influence from Osho, some weird Zen meditation CD I have.
Millencolin - Life on a Plate	Wicked fast punk with some really blazing guitar picking, I mean these dudes can play faaast. Guy's voice gets kinda irritating after awhile, and if you read their lyrics it becomes very obvious that English is a second language to these guys (I think they're Swedish). Still, great stuff here.
Millencolin - Pennybridge Pioneers	Ouch. They lost their speed. This is still kinda fun to listen to, but it's a shadow of their former glory. I'd like to see some real scientific research though on why bands get slower over time. It's an injustice.
Mr. Bungle - Mr. Bungle	If you get ahold of some of Bungle's later demos, you'll already know like half the songs on this album. It's hard to find reliable info on these guys, but rumour says the only reason they got on Warner Bros. was cuz of Patton's success with Faith No More. Who cares? Not me, really. This is the circus music jack-off record of all time, you really get an earful of Bungle's - often described as schizophrenic - unusual style. Patton really wails too, making it an acid-trip sing-along.
Mr. Bungle - Disco Volante	Patton, Spruance, Dunn and friends got really weird on this one. It's brilliant in a spooky, creepy kinda way, with a lot more vocal noises as opposed to singing. The contrast from one song to the next can make for an uncomfortable listen, but it displays their unbelievable versatility. From heavy jazz to techno, a little death metal, ambiant, looney tunes, and a few other indescribables, this record covers all the bases.
Mr. Bungle - California	This is Bungle's greatest piece of work to date. It's not quite as heavy and groove oriented as their first album, and not quite as strange as Disco Volante. It's also one of the few albums on which I don't skip the slow songs.
Morbid Angel - Covenant	Straight-out death metal. The whole album. Very vicious. My complaint? A minor one. Never liked growling much. Prefer screams. Still amazing though.
Morbid Angel - Domination	This is my favourite Morbid Angel album by far. Azagthoth is absolutely brilliant on this, and I'm not normally a fan of guitar solos. The riffage is trippy as hell too. Throw in some of the fastest double kicks you'll hear anywhere and you get a mature album that's still heavy as hell.
Mudvayne - L.D. 50	You gotta love their appreciation of Psilocybin. As far as heavy bands go, these guys are just heavy enough to not be annoying. Annoying would be like White Zombie, just heavy enough would be Slipknot. They bragged in some guitar mag about crazy time signatures, calling themselves math rock, but I haven't been impressed by much in that category on this record. There are some good grooves though, and Ryan plays bass the way I would if I were as creative as him. Some of the slow stuff later on the record needs help though.
MXPX - Life in General	These guys play that California 'havin a good time with a big dumb grin' Blink 182 kinda punk. It's fun. No skippers on this record.
	N - Back to Top
Napalm Death - Scum	Grindcore, nothin but. This is old-school, about as sloppy and noisy as you can get and still sound cool. There's like 8 million riffs on this thing, all of them half-assed, all of them cool.
Napalm Death - Utopia Banished	Not quite the all-out grindcore act they used to be by this album, Napalm still manages to keep it pretty brutal. Just about every track hits the 5-minute or over mark, which is cool, but I want grindcore, dammit. Barney's vocals are pretty friggin annoying though, totally lacking intensity, he sounds like a moron.
Nile - Black Seeds of Vengeance	This is really cool except for the typical, growly death metal vocs. Musically though, these guys are competent as hell and they ooze talent. It's old-school brutal death metal, but something about it sounds fresh.
Nine Inch Nails - Broken	I hate this crap. Reznor can kiss my ass. This so-called 'noise' is about as entertaining as eating rice cakes with water. Why people think Reznor is brilliant has me totally dumbfounded, and anyone who finds him 'scary' or 'twisted' needs to leave their basement once in a while.
	O - Back to Top
Obituary - Cause of Death	It's embarrassing to admit it, but I love this album. James Murphy (the ultimate band slut) rips all the solos on this one, but I really doubt he contributed to the writing process at all. If you know Obituary, then I don't think anything on this record will surprise, but I find it has a cool ambience to the whole thing that was lacking on every single one of their other recordings. Too bad they weren't any faster though...
	P - Back to Top
Pantera - Great Southern Trendkill	Pantera bores me. This album's pretty fast but I don't know why I can't get into it. Dimebag's riffs bore me, Anselmo does belt it out pretty good sometimes, but he usually just bores me. The drums always sound fantastic, but they're played in the most boring way possible. That's it I'm done.
Papa Roach - Infest	Annoying white-boy rap over semi-hard music. How original! Yeah, I'll admit that I liked that first single, whatever it was called, for the first few listens. I'm also pissed that MTV had to censor out just about every second word. But c'mon, this stuff is lame. The album is boring, and so much emphasis was placed on their kindergarten lyrics. Hopefully their second album won't see the light of day.
	R - Back to Top
Radiohead - OK Computer	Ah geez, wake me up when it's over.
Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine	I have to call this a classic too. At the time of its release, this was groundbreaking as hell. Sure, other bands had played the rap metal thing out before, but never quite like this. I find most of the songs a little generic now, but I blame that on the fact that everybody rips them off.
	S - Back to Top
Sausage - Riddles are Abound Tonight	Good ol' Les. You remember Les? The lanky psychotic bass player for Primus? Well Sausage was a strange lil side project he put out in '94. The title track and Temporary Phase are quite extraordinary hilights, but for the most part this album is a difficult listen. Claypool's voice can get annoying. It's nice that he doesn't spend the whole album sucking himself off with insane bass licks, but on the the other hand that leaves very little on the memorable side of things. Stick with Primus, Les.
Slayer - Reign in Blood	Only complete idiots can hold the opinion that this record is anything short of an absolute classic. If you've ever heard any single song off this record and liked it, then you'll love the whole album. I mean, you can tell the songs apart, but they're all so identical in style that it's really hard to pick a favourite.
Slayer - South of Heaven	This is not an all-out thrashfest, but it's still pretty good. A few of the songs bore the crap outta me, but for the most part this is good. The title track is pretty friggin intense.
Slayer - Divine Intervention	It was a relief to hear this album, cuz you might figure Slayer's gettin old and they might start to wuss out. I mean, they did soften a little over time, but that's natural I guess. This album kicks ass. Lombardo left the band at this point, but Bostaph more than fills his shoes in my opinion (ya gotta be careful what you say about Lombardo, most refer to him as God). Faster tracks like Dittohead really sold me on this record.
Slayer - Diabolicus in Musica	Did I spell the album name correctly? Does anyone care? Did Slayer go bankrupt and record this crap over the phone onto a ghetto blaster? I can't even listen to this, I don't understand what happened. The groove riffs that they seem to be attempting are sucking up a royal storm, although I have to admit that I didn't give this album more than 1 listen. I just thought it was painful hearing a band that has influenced so many release such trash.
Slayer - God Hates Us All	Okay, I hate to start negative cuz I love this album, but what a stupid name for a record. Besides that, this must be their angriest release in a long time. I mean, Araya sounds really pissed off, not just screaming but screaming with a purpose. They toned it down a bit on the solos, which I like cuz to me solos are like jacking off....but there are still a few, which is absolutely necessary on a Slayer disc, no matter what you think of them. I think they're worked in a little more tastefully now anyways. Bostaph also does an awesome job on this one with cool, fast, original beats.
Slipknot - Slipknot	I used to love this album. The fact that it didn't have regular rotation for even a year in my CD player leads me to believe that I actually don't like this. Original sounding as hell and, at first listen, very chaotic. In the end, however, they're just another almost really heavy band who aren't afraid to dabble with death metal, but obviously don't wanna be a death metal band.
Slipknot - Iowa	First of all, there's already someone who sings like Jonathan Davis. His name is Jonathan Davis. Oh yeah, and he sucks balls. This record feels like a lie. Within like the first minute of the first track, we get a blast beat which gets me thinking 'nice! Slipknot got even heavier!' Then the album continues to drag itself down with boring Korn rip-off riffs and boring Korn rip-off vocals. Intensity gives way to whining and crying. It's pathetic, after showing so much potential, to play stuff that only a 14 year-old Eminem fan would find heavy. Slipknot=Shit.
Staind - Dysfunction	I made two mistakes with this album. 1) I bought it. 2) I listened to it. Crap like this is what gives nu-metal such a horrible name. There's one song on this thing that's actually kinda heavy and is worth listening to, everything else sounds like a cry for help from some depressed loser. The whining, the letters to mommy and daddy and the overall 'poor me' vibe are all reasons to piss on this disc.
Sublime - 40 Oz. To Freedom	I gave this a really, truly honest chance. Couldn't get into it. It's overall pretty boring. Some of the grooves are cool. Of course, a big turn-off was some sorta 'we smoke lotsa weed' intro that rang of Cypress Hill. I have no problem with weed, I just don't get why some people are so goddamned proud of their burnout status.
Suffocation - Pierced From Within	This is the most complete death metal album of all time. Heavy as shit, plenty of blast beats, heavy groove riffs, intense vocals and ridiculous riffs. The song structure and tempo changes are almost too sick to comprehend, and even the solos kick ass. Since they close the album with a remake of their classic Breeding the Spawn, it shows how much they've improved on their overall sound since that album. It also shows that their bassist can play, and how.
System of a Down - Toxicity	Yeah, another album that I liked until I actually bought it and gave it a listen. After jamming a couple of songs off this thing I realized that the strings in this band suck lizard. I still like the singer's unique style though. Incredibly commercially viable bands also tend to turn me off, and a few days ago SOAD managed to sell out a rather large venue here in montreal.
	T - Back to Top
The Dillinger Escape Plan - The Dillinger Escape Plan	Not as technical as their newer stuff, this EP is still as intense as hell. We start to get a taste of their unusual but vicious guitar stylings, and although the drumming is nowhere near as unreal as on Calculating Infinity, it's still amazing, just waiting to be refined. I love these guys, and desperately need them to play a show in Montreal. I'd buy them a 24 each just to play here.
The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity	These guys are f*cking brilliant. This record is like Brutal Truth meets King Crimson with some dude screaming at the top of his lungs. The guitar work is aggressive as hell with a lot dischordant stuff and the drummer is absolutely sick. A lot of people have a problem with the singing, but I find it simply raw and emotional.
3 Doors Down - The Better Life	Matchbox 20 meets, well, every other Billboard top 100 rock band from the last five years. If you want crap, it's not here, it's 3 doors down.
	W - Back to Top
White Zombie - La Sexorcisto - Devil Music Vol. 1	Rob Zombie can blow me.

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