The Third Teaching
We are a brainwashing cult. We target the young, the innocent, the confused. We take these young, impressionable minds and mould them into something else, something more perverse, something dangerous.
Did you laugh? Did the very thought that anyone could be corrupted by us (US?!) seem completely preposterous? Or are you still trying to work out what's going on?
Some people really believe it though. They truly do. And the moment someone first decided that we had come to corrupt the youth of America, it became true. As long as people fear us, we will be that cult. I feel I should add now that if you are one of these people and you don't want to be lead astray, please leave the site now, for your own good.
Right then, we're all friends here now the others have left. I feel I should come clean. I like being in a cult. I like having this bond with my friends. I like having this connection with people I'll never know. I like writing teachings while I watch TV. Being in Salamandertron makes us special. It gives us an individuality no other group can offer. We are connected only by words. A group of individuals under one heading. Happy in our cult. So let us sing "Mighty, mighty mints, mighty, mighty mints..."
- The Most Reverend Dr. Jenna