ok... i just got off of the phone with fucking customer support for my ISP. turns out they don't allow "perl script", now, up until last night i didn't know what that meant either. and, well, i still don't know what "perl script" is, but i know i gotta have it to run the blog softwear i DLed. soooooooo, long story short, i can't run a cool blog from my ISP. (basically the only thing i can do with it is post pictures.) so, this one will have to do for now. i kinda like the ecclectic thing i have here, but i have found some really awesome designers out there who will share their wares. check out www.love-productions.com . (ps: this page is designed by ME!)
now, i did the holycross "fuckin" christmas today. it was sadly nice, but mostly sad. only about half the family showed up. both of my sisters skipped out, both because of their current man. dumb fucking hos. my cousin cory has the flu. my uncle jeff showed up late, minus his "new" wife and 2 step daughters and minus presents, stupid rich fucker. since grandpa's funeral there has been major drama there between his wife and grandma and therefore between him and grandma. so, they go on a vacation to fucking jamaica instead of getting anyone gifts and that, my friends, just isn't kosher. oh fucking well.
i am still sooo fucking pissed at my brother. today is the first time i saw him since leaving the fucked up message. yeah, i did. he thinks it is ok to blow me off. hell, it's the down right trendy thing to do right now if you ask any of my friends. i ignored him the whole 3 hours he was there. he needs to realize that his charm will ony get him so far. i mean i love him to death, ask anyone. he just fucking pisses me off.
elora has the sniffles, a terrible runny nose and i am afraid i have strep thraot. my left tonsil is swollen. my left, not your left.
this fucking entry is just pissing me off even more. i am mad at almost everyone i can think of. i have been treated like second class by the masses recently and well, i don't fucking deserve it. i have been extremely nice this year. not just to get on santas list, because i didn't really want anything for christmas this year besides great toys for elora. (and a dvd player!) i just think of the grand scenario and the whole karma thing. is the golden rule outdated? i am honest as fuck, and that can be a fault sometimes. it pisses people off sometimes, but in the end, it's the truth. i would rather be told the truth, and be pissed for a moment, than to be lied to. even if it is "for my own good". what no one seems to realize is that boosting someone up for a moment (by lying) makes the fall all that much harder (when the truth comes out. it always comes out.). if i started out from the ground to begin with, i'm not gonna get hurt. it amazes me how much some folks live in their pseudo-reality. if that is what makes you happy, then so be it. just don't include me in your half truths, k?
while we are on the subject, just what did i do to deserve this anyway? i am a good mom, i devote my whole day to elora. i stay up half the night online, then get a few hours of sleep then do it all again. she is so sweet and loving and wants to be held constantly, by everyone! what a gem. the lady at rite aid tonight was in love with her and she went right into her arms. i am a good friend and i could be a good girl friend. i listen objectively, give advice objectively and i always think to include my friends. i think of fun things to do and we never do it. i make contact with them whenever i have a minute and i always follow through when i say will. i'm not needy or clingy and i take back handed comments in stride. so, what's up with the whole damn world? fucked up, i guess.
fucking a.
