As a counterpoint to December's venting, I decided the best, healthiest
way to kick off the new year was to talk about the things that make
me happy. When compiling this list, I tried to stay away from things
that make any halfway-rational person happy -- things like my wife,
my house, and my dogs -- and really dig deep for the things in the
world around me that make all the crap I complained about last month
worthwhile.
Somehow -- somehow -- I came up with 5 things:
 Buzz
Aldrin - On September 9th, 2002, a conspiracy theorist named
Bart Sibrel confronted Buzz Aldrin outside a Beverly Hills hotel
and demanded that the Apollo astronaut swear on a Bible that he
had actually walked on the moon. Sibrel brought a video camera with
him, and after shoving the Bible in Aldrin's face, called him a
thief and a liar. So 72 year-old Buzz laid this 37 year-old "investigative
journalist" on his ass. With one punch. A video of this
hilarious confrontation can be found here.
Not long after the news broke, T-shirts began appearing on CafePress.com,
with a large headshot of Buzz in his spacesuit, laid over the silhouette
of a fist, and surrounded by the words, "Buzz Aldrin Still
Kicks Ass". Yes, he does...
- Twix bars - Filled with soft and chewy caramel inside a
creamy chocolate coating, with just enough nougat crunchiness to
keep it from being a "soft" candy. What's not to
like? And the best part about Twix bars? You get two in each package!
-
The Hunger Site - Though it's become kind
of bogged down with sister sites and affiliates, this site is
still the easiest way to give yourself a warm fuzzy. Just go to
http://www.thehungersite.com
and click your mouse over the big gray button. You'll be shown
a page with some small ads on it (not pop-ups), and you'll have
given food to the hungry -- the advertisers pledge a certain amount
of food per click. You can visit once a day... unless you've got
internet access at home and at work, in which case you
can visit twice a day. These guys rock. 
- Children who say inappropriate things - Okay, okay, I know
we shouldn't be encouraging our children to use bad words...
but it's still pretty funny when they do. My then-three year-old
nephew once proudly declared, "Birdshit!" after hearing
his mom say it. Four years, and I'm still laughing about that one.
This past New Year's, the four year-old son of the people we were
partying with was scratching our dog's belly, and loudly asked the
room where her penis was. I dare you to come up with something funnier
than that.
- Spider-Man: The Movie - Been waiting for this one for a
decade and a half, and while it wasn't without its flaws, the things
Sam Raimi and Co. got right far outweighed the things they got wrong.
Best of all, millions of kids all over the world know the thing
I've understood since I was five years old: Spidey is cool.
- Russ, 2/13/03
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