SUNDAY, JULY 16
Just as everything closes by 6 p.m. during the week, nothing opens until after Noon on Sundays, same as the States. Instead of cramming into popular tourist destinations from 2-6, we decided that a relaxing day was in store, that we would take in London life and not run around town wearing ourselves out.
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He's wearing horns, yet I'm the evil one.
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Dad and I walked over to Hyde Park to experience Speakers' Corner, where every Sunday afternoon people get up on their soapboxes and rant, as onlookers chuckle at such strange people.
Dad seemed to take it more seriously, in his email he said "they live off fear of others" and called them "bums." But when a black guy wearing red horns on his head tells me that I'm the reincarnation of Hitler, wouldn't you think he was a hoot?
It was good clean fun, and I learned that apparently things are as great for Jews in America as we thought. A British Jew told us that there is a coming holocaust in the States. Hmm, wonder if he's even traveled across the pond? What are we going to do, lock them all up until they agree to give up Fran Dresher?
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Communism works! Just look at the Soviet Union! No. Just look at Cuba! Wait, no, not them either.
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There were also several religious persons singing hymns, preaching sermons and one gentleman talked about the evils of Islam. There was also a Commie who was deriding NATO for bombing Yugoslavia in 1999.
Back to the hotel to pick up Danielle, then we walked along Bayswater Road, which runs by the hotel. It is apparently known for its "starving artists" who sell their work on Sunday afternoons. I'm not sure if the guy driving a BMW is starving, but you never know. Dad didn't last long, opting instead to have a seat outside a pub and enjoy a tall, cold Foster's. I bought some London-y things which weren't expensive, one a framed watercolor of Big Ben and Parliament, the other is a set of five little boxes with a London scene, like Scotland Yard or a cute pic of Winston Churchill smoking a fat stogie.
That was it for Sunday. Very relaxing. Still lots of walking, though. I'm not feeling 100%, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because the hotel uses feather pillows, or my antibiotics aren't reacting well with the sun, but I'm more affected than Dad and Danielle, which just shouldn't be!
It got more peculiar during the night. As I'm watching Rio Bravo on Ch. 11, I started to get these chills that ran up my body. No matter how much I curled up in bed I couldn't stay warm, but I didn't really feel sick. I didn't sleep well, constantly waking up, which was all right since Ch. 5 showed Major League Baseball games live from across the pond. I watched Oakland and Colorado for a bit, then they replayed the All-Star game from the week before.
MONDAY, JULY 17
After a peaceful Sunday, it was time for more running around and history lessons at the Tower of London and Westminster Abbey.
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No need to lose your head, the daunting queue to get in the Tower was only 15 minutes.
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The Tower, along the River Thames, was begun in the 11th Century, shortly after the Normans took over the island following their victory at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. Contrary to its name, it's not just a big tower, but a series of buildings and towers that make up the classic style of fort guarded by a moat (now drained) that stands on the main waterway of England.
The Tower is where the ghoulish and grisly dark history of England resides, as the executions of Anne Boylen, Mary Queen of Scots and Thomas More took place behind its walls, as were many other prominent "traitors of England" held and killed. This is the classic architecture one associates with old England, so it's a must when visiting London. If you ever want to yell "Off with your head" while in the country, this is where it fits.
There's plenty to see, and there are many buildings, so allot plenty of time. Arriving at 11 a.m., we didn't leave until after 3 p.m. yet still didn't look through everything. The history of the place is impressive, considering it was built over 400 years before Columbus discovered the New World.
Make sure you begin your tour by following the Yeoman Warders, the guides who have the great stories to tell, with that great British wit to boot. Wearing the traditional clothing of the Warders, also known as Beefeaters, they "bring to life the Tower's history including imprisonment, torture and intrigue," as the brochure says.
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A happy Henry VIII.
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The original structure, called the White Tower, includes the chapel and the British Armoury, with thousands of weapons and armor from England's past -- one of the Tower's original functions was as an arsenal. Henry VIII's was most interesting, as you could see how his armor grew larger in order to accommodate his expanding girth. Henry must have thought a lot about his manhood considering the size of his codpiece, one even Dirk Diggler would appreciate.
Also on site is the Fusiliers' Museum, with the history of the Royal Regiment of Britain's Royal Army. They've been in many wars, successfully, and you have to be impressed that such a small nation (at least when compared to the size of the U.S.) has been able to help keep the European continent peaceful (for the most part) while preventing a successful invasion for a millennium. And many have tried.
Our last stop was the Bloody Tower, which held Sir Walter Raleigh for more than a decade. Despite being one her favorites, Queen Elizabeth I had him thrown in for an affair with one of her Maids of Honor, Bessie Throckmorton. Released shortly after, in 1603 he was tossed back in the Tower when Elizabeth died and James I took the throne. Raleigh was framed as a member of a plot against the throne and sentenced to life imprisonment.
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The Tower Bridge as seen from the Tower of London. Colors only seen on acid, though.
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It wasn't much of a prison for him, since his family and servants stayed there as well, and Raleigh wrote History of the World (first printed in 1614) while kept there. It was composed of five volumes but only reached as far as the second Macedonian War in 130 BC. After being released for over a year, he was implicated once again in the previous charge, but this visit wasn't as pleasant, with Raleigh beheaded in 1618.
Originally called the Garden Tower, the Bloody Tower gets its name from the mystery over the death of Edward V and his brother Richard, Duke of York in 1483. One of the most famous unsolved murders in history, at only 13 years old "The Boy King" was staying in the Tower as he prepared for coronation, but allegedly he and his 11-year-old brother were killed by their uncle, the Duke of Gloucester, who soonafter became King Richard III. The children's bones were discovered in 1674 under the stairs to St. John's Chapel nearby.
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Nevermore!
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While walking the grounds watch out for the large and feisty ravens that roam the Tower. Legend has it that Charles II warned that should the ravens leave the Tower, the monarch would fall. However, now the Brits cheat by clipping the wings so that the ravens won't be flying anywhere. It's not a big deal anyway, since the monarch is no more than a figurehead in English government.
For some reason, despite the ghoulish history of the Tower, it is also where the Crown Jewels are held. Hmm, one of these things is not like the other. Crown Jewels, Bloody Tower, Crown Jewels, Scaffold, Crown Jewels, Torture Rack. Dad swears we were cheated, though, as he recalled seeing more jewels during a visit in the early 90s. The ones we did see were part of crowns and scepters, none standing alone like I thought we'd see.
And now for something completely different.
The opposite attraction to the Tower is our next stop, the hallowed grounds of Westminster Abbey, which Danielle and I explored while Dad stayed across the street at the park in the middle of a roundabout (he's been to London several times so once is enough) across the street. We were very impressed with the Abbey, with its very elegance and stately manner.
Same as the Tower, its history spans nearly a millennium. It is amazing how many sculptures, memorials and graves are crammed into the church of saints, philosophers and monarchs.
Just as Egyptian tombs represent the ancient history of the region, so will Westminster represent English history. Fodor's guide goes even further, describing the Abbey as "one of the miracles of Western architecture."
Not just for tombs, almost every monarch for hundreds of years has been crowned in the Abbey. The coronation chair, which dates from 1301, sits proudly on display, waiting for Prince Charles to take a seat.
The marble tombs of Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots are within a few feet of each other, with monarchs Kings Edward I, III, V, and Henry VII nearby, as well as artists and poets and prominent statesmen. I didn't recognize 9/10 of the royals buried there, but almost all of the writers in Poets Corner stood out: Shakespeare, Chaucer, Wordsworth, Tennyson, etc. What does that say about how time remembers you? Writers I know, but all of those privileged with their ornate memorials who thought they were "all that" in their time are largely forgotten by history.
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Some of the intricate sculptures over the Abbey's entrance.
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Americans will also appreciate a memorial to former president Franklin Delano Roosevelt, which is on the wall near the entrance, next to a Winston Churchill memorial and the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior.
While standing between the Quire and the Sacrarium, I realized that I was in the middle of the church, standing on the spot where Princess Diana's casket was placed during her funeral service in '97. That brought a wave of feeling, as I was one of millions who stayed up all night to watch the procession.
The Abbey just oozes religious importance, and one cannot help but light a candle along with everyone else and say a prayer, because you just feel that God knows the Abbey well, and visits often. I won't tell you what I prayed for, though, and no it was not for God to drop a wife for me out of the sky.
Every hour a soothing voice comes over a sound system to ask for a moment of silence. Moments like this remind you that this in fact is a place of worship, and not just a graveyard for important people.
It is very crowded in the Abbey, so be prepared to jostle with hundreds of tourists to read the text and fully take in the complicated designs of the memorials. It's not so crowded that you won't enjoy the experience, but a few times you will have to push aside a Swede in order to appreciate Ben Jonson's final resting place. The ceiling is amazingly high and ornate, so don't forget to look up once in awhile from the graves on the floor.
That night while eating dinner at an Indian restaurant, Dad and Danielle witnessed what they believe was some discrimination among those from the Indian subcontinent. I didn't witness this, as I was more interested in my naan (like a thick tortilla).
Allegedly a couple walked in of Indian descent, and even though there were a few empty tables, when asked how long the wait would be, the waiter told them that there would be none available. I wish I had seen and heard this, but I take Dad's word that it was, in fact, very offensive.
Do you want to feel like a very dumb American? Watch a British game show. Having been on Knowledge Bowl in high school I was interested to watch a sort of college bowl among English universities. These guys (and gal) were geniuses. The final score was 270-210, but in America it might have been 40-25. I jumped up and down when they finally asked one I did know, but it was about Star Trek so that made me feel like a dork again.
I felt the same way in Scotland, when Danielle and I played the video game version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" with the English host. The questions were difficult, and even as a team we didn't make it to �1,000.
