But like some CDs I got carried away with my Cross Dressing (it happens)..Problems soon occured with my wanting to cross dress to much as well as things that had happened in my past began to take a heavy toll on our relationship, My wife left me a few times over the years.. do to my problems and a few of hers. Over the past two years we both had been researching on how to cope with cross dressing and what it really was. We got into a big disagreement over my cross dressing and my past which almost caused us to split up for good..Thats when My wife began doing a lot of reasearching of her own..try to find out why people need, want and like to dress up in the oppisite clothing of ones (BIRTH) sex . She has told me sence then that she will not stop me from dressing up anymore.. - talking about being terrified !! When she told me I thought I was a mouse in a trap and the trap was keeping me for the cat.. & that cat was her!! ( she helps me at times with my makeup..) Ok.. enough along this line..I don't know if anything I've said will help anyone.. but I sure hope it will. if nothing else but just to give someone a little insight of a cross dressers life, ok. lets get to some other points from my perspective;
These are my opions from my side, they are not ment for everyone of whom is a Cross dresser. I don't say these things to attack anyone from any group, nationality, race, religion etc. this is just a little of my side from what I SEE and EXPERIENCE is the Best teacher At times.. ( Both good and Bad) , ok lets get with it. SOME OTHER POINTS: 1. Cross dressing is not a disease..however, it is a Desire a need a want.-depending on each individual. 2. Most important, supressing it and acting or avoiding the issue will only make things worse .. for both the person who is the Cd and the people around the person.
It makes you depressed, irritable, moody, sometimes feeling Rejected.the list is so long. 3. Can't go to the Doctor aND GET A PILL.. unless you like being numb or a Zombie. 4. It is not to make fun of the ones we are dressing as. ( in my case, i like the feel of it, i feel comfortable and I look up and admire the women) it brings out the softer side, that most men hate and FEAR.. the EGO thing. or labedo which ever is the case. 5. I didn't ask to be this away , I don't regret it..Most of the time.. some of the time.. but I am this away. I do enjoy dressing, my wife says she still can't understand me dressing with makeup, shaving.. etc. it's such a chore to her.. It's not to me..It's a THRILL!! I guess if I had been doing everyday for thirty years it would be a chore after awhile. 6. It does make me see some of the things , of course I can't see all of what a woman must put up with. I now know and understand why it takes so much time for my wife to do her hair, put on make up, get dressed.. etc. AND NO to some of you men out there.. SHE CAN'T just toss it on and leave in 15 minutes..and if she could, would you be proud to have her on your shoulder ? As my male self. I can get up , get a cig, grab my pants, t-shirt, shoes etc. wallet and out the door I go. As Roxy .. FORGET IT ! ! ...two hours and that';s if my wife helps me...I understand the Feeling both good and bad if a man is googling at her.. Like the time we where out she was dressed as plan JANE and I was Dressed up.. they were Whistling at me and googling.. she was standing behind them.. man did she get peeeuuued at me.. We where to go out for a evening.. however she DROVE RIGHT HOME!! and I still don't know what I did wrong.. she said She felt like I was a Flussy.. or acting like a school girl.. All I was doing was sitting there.. looking straight ahead.. avoiding all eye contact.. But, I was a Flussieeeeeeeeeee....She was really worried that I could get hurt if they found Out I was a Guy.
So, now I understand..when a woman is out alone the helplessness of the feeling if and what will happen.. and couldn't do much about it if they did try something to harm me...( I could in reality probally, but still !! ) there was three guys going nutty looking at me and wanting to get to know me, they even asked my wife if they could talk to me.. !!! What WOULD've happened!!!! Three on ONE , come on.. Even if I was dressed in a mans clothing (that) would still be frightening.. these are some of the things I can understand now. ( or like shaving and cutting a big hunk of skin out of your leg and will leave a BIG hudge SCAR for ever!!! .. that one happened just tonight!!) on to another topic.
There is one Thing I do REGRET about all of this; and that is not telling my wife from the start before we got married that I liked to dress up in womans clothing.. (OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH the feeling.. ok ok ok I'll get on with it.. ) Seriously Now: maybe I didn't because of the fear of loosing her from the start. ( SHE would've told me to get out of her apartment and never come back...- she even says that now..that's what she would've done.. ) I thought that maybe the feelings would go away after we got married..( WELL THEY DIDN'T) and she FOUND THAT out the hard way.. and they DON'T Go away..
it would have been risky telling her, but I feel it would've showed her that I did LOVE her very much and didn't want to hide anything from her... but I flubbered.. it would've given her a choice in it and maybe helped provented ALOT of FIGHTING down the road.. I never hit my wife.. We sure yelled alot at one another tho..We are all guilty of hiding things.. from our loved ones... our selves.. but it doesn't make it right .. or even easy!! In my own experience Itr's taken me alomost five long years to realize that hiding things may seem like the best idea at the time, but the reprocussions is a lot worse than just telling them up front & get the yelling over with.. BECAUSE SHE is GOINT TO YELL!! almost deffiently if it was your fault. I could've told her and she may have walked away and never looked back; or stayed and worked it out... either of way.. it would've been the RIGHT THING TO DO!! Hien Site 20 -20 or catch 57. The saying that the truth will set you free... its so true.. we as CDs live in a prision as it is. with out causing more problems upon our loved ones or our selfs. Their are times you can't let everyone know.. but only a few.. and it varies from person to person .. situation to situation.. like me, I own a business so the public in general for now does not know.. but, my wife does.
On this next subject I must tred carefully; as not to affend anyone..but, no matter how careful I try not TO... I'm sure I will ...know that This is not my intention. the one thing I do see in the world is that there is'nt a PLACE out there for us.. sure BARS, CLUBS, that sort.. I mean in Society in General, most of the time we have to hide it from the world and our loved ones. Women look down on us, Men beat us up or worse, Gay and les., don't want us around.. if we go out in public and found out we get ridiculed or worse. Straights got Rights, Gay has Rights, Lesbien Has Rights, ( or getting Rights even more) but we as CDs are booted out like a unwanted stray dog in society..A woman in pants, T-Shirt, short hair cut, can walk into the local department store or even a church.. nothing said.. but you let a CD walk in and all HELL is going to break loose ( GUARANTEED) > > > in some places law & emergency personnel have even jailed and refussed to give medical care to a CD... ( I KNOW this for a FACT!!!!) in the town where I use to live it happened!!! I was in Jail with the Guy they made fun of for being dressed as a woman..
This one person I knew was dressed and lived her life as a woman.. but was a man.. she drank at the local bar where I did.. a Straight BAR!! Some of the LOCAL YOKELS decided to give her - him a working over... the hospital refussed to give her treatment!! she was even kicked out and basicly left for dead..
(in A SMALL TOWN .. not a BIG city like you would think!!) She lived, but she moved away.. one of the very few people I could talk too!! This guy I was in Jail with.. I was on Work release!! anyway.. they brought this young , skinny guy in.. with BLACK nail polish on.. They put him in a Jail Cell with WELL known IDIOTS!! and they threaten to do all sorts of things to him..one of the police officers even said.., put (HIM. HER, IT, What ever in there.. they'll take real good care of it).. I even heard them say to this person ( When he asked for nail polish remover, to chew it off!! ) I was coming in from work release one night and the officer I knew for years called me over and said hey look at this you wouldn't believe it.. The picture was a beautiful looking woman...but it was the boy they had locked up!! A GREAT LAw sUITE if the KID would've had a family member who actually cared about him / HER...I mean I must admire CDs that go out into public hold thier heads up and keep on a truck-n, and even more so the TGs that live the life every day. When is this world going to wake up., if you cut us we bleed. If you hit us we HURT. Most of us CDs aren't tring to change the world., we would just like to live the way we are. WITHOUT being AFFRAID of someone wanting to harm us because we like other things more than them. Or we are more sensual than they are, More in touch with the WHOLE Being!! They say this is the Land of the FREE., for some maybe..but still for others.. nope it's not so!!
