Slices of my life in Japan
Naked Japan is a strange place. Japanese people are very polite and will avoid conflict at all costs. Emotions are kept inside. To show emotions is to reveal a weakness of spirit. Road-rage, pub brawls, verbal disputes in the workplace Eyou just don't see them here. But all those bottled-up emotions have to go somewhere.
Bangin' the drum for Jesus They're a funny mob. I often feel that our taiko drumming group is just a front for its members' out-of-control drinking habits. Generally we practise taiko for about 1 hour and then head to our favourite restaurant and drink for 3 hours. By the end of the evening the members are so utterly drunk that it's not unusual for several of them to pass out. They lie twitching and speechless under the table, occasionally dribbling into the tatami mat. All that is left is for their wives to pick them up and pour them into bed.
A day at the country club We sat in the restaurant and ordered breakfast. To the delight of my compadres, I - in true Aussie fashion - ordered and consumed a very large glass of cold beer. I summoned the magical properties of the primal brew and the collective spirits of my dead Scottish ancestors to give me the courage and strength to face the coming ordeal.
A yakuza in my bath We were from entirely different worlds - he was an organiser of organised crime, I was a teacher of English - but we were both men and we were both naked and we were both standing in a Japanese ornamental garden feeling suddenly pretty bloody stupid.
Cancer can be fun Cycling back to my apartment I remember noticing that it was a beautiful day. The sun had real bite, the birds were brave and noisy, and I had cancer.
It never rains but ...... Upon arriving back at school I removed my wet-weather gear to find that I was basically dry except for my crotch which was stained dark where my overpants had been rubbing on the wet bike saddle. I looked exactly like someone who had just pissed himself.
Laughing ants A candle-lit procession we crawl to the summit. Carrying virgins and fat goats and flowers and mobile phones and gortex to toss into the caldera. The purest of children and the fruits of a bountiful harvest will bring us good fortune and blessings.
Tanuki and sake This festival appears to be some bizarre way of bullying and intimidating the local residents into giving us money (for more sake - no doubt!). The denizens come dutifully trotting out of their houses to deposit small envelopes of the good stuff into one of the floats. Toot toot bang bang blah blah blah - off we go again.
Japanese torture Your hunger is banished and your thirst is slaked but it has only just begun. You must continue eating until you are bloated and you must drink until your rosy merriment turns to drunken idiocy.
Waltzing Matilda I took Yuki to school this morning. Quite a site I'm sure. The town's sole European male dressed in charcoal suit and wrap-around sunnies - a mountain bike wedged firmly between his buttocks and a 4-foot tall blow-up kangaroo clinging to his back.