and, like mine, most of them kept theirs open.
It was a frightening time.
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| "OUT" IN THE 1970s | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Don't get me wrong. My coming out was not all peaches and cream by a long shot. First of all, I handled my new freedom very badly. The first thing I did was quit my steady job and go into selling real estate so my time would be my own. At first it looked like I had done the right thing as I became the top salesman in my office within 2 to 3 months. I won an all expense trip to The Bahamas and had a wonderful time. When I returned home, the economy had taken a nose-dive and the interest rates jumped 10% overnight and every one of my pending sales fell through and I had to declare bankrupty. I had to go back to accounting and managed to get a fairly good paying job with a Small Business activest organization. I did well there and was promoted twice when suddenly they let me go. The President and founder of the company had a father who was a right wing religious fanatic. One morning, he spotted me coming out of a known gay steam bath so he told my boss to get rid of me. That could happen in those days and there wasn't a damned thing you could do about it. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Meanwhile, I was going through lovers like you know what through a goose. I was almost living every spare moment in the gay bars, and when I had too much to drink I would stay over at the steambath. (if I hadn't managed to pick up a trick) When I went bankrupt, I had to give up my apartment. Tommy moved in with a buddy of his and Paul went in with his mother. I was going with a very young guy, Don, at the time and moved in with him. We stayed together as lovers for 4 years. He was one year younger than my oldest son. He was also everything that I use to hate in gay life. He was very feminine, flamboyant, noisy and a drunk. But I loved him and made quite a bit of headway in changing his actions when he suddenly had had enough of being lectured I guess, and one day he upped and left me. I immediately went back to my promiscuous lifestyle. The time was in the middle of the sexual revolution. Gays were coming out like flies, and, like mine, most of them kept theirs open. |
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| Don - 4 Years | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Myself & John 4 Months | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Clifford 4 Days | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Myself & John #2 4 Weeks | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| There were many many fun times of course during those years, We had marvelous parties with some great friends. One of my good friends, Norm, used to hold the best parties, specially for Halloween. I specialized in Birthday parties and New Years Eve bashes, which was good, because that is where I met Ron. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Then, there were those who only lasted from 4 minutes to 4 hours - not sufficient time to get a picture! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Don thanking me for his Party | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| That's me with the balloons. New Years '79 Amazing what a few drinks will do to your inhibitions. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Friends enjoying Don's 20th birthday party | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| For the sake of this journal, I have made light of my wild promiscuous actions during the early and mid 70's. Believe me, I am not proud of those days, but I would be hiding the truth if I did not state what happened. I was not alone in the wild times of the decade, but that doesn't make it right. I can say though, that coming out at the age I did, although it doesn't justify my actions, I do think it makes them more understandable; Put it down to trying to regain my lost youth. We had all heard the rumours of some mysterious disease that was killing off gays in the States, but we really didn't pay much attention and just put it down to scare mongering put out by the right wing religious fanatics from the bible belt. Nothing like that could possibly occur in Canada, could it? BUT WE HAD A RUDE AWAKENING TO COME! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| While I was in real estate, I had met Paul, who was not only gay but had just seperated from his wife after 20 years marriage and had his two sons living with him. The similarities in our lives was so great that we became steadfast buddies and used to go cruising together. As a matter of fact. it was through Paul that I had met Don. (He had taken home two tricks and phoned for me to take one of them.) I told you we were tramps! (grin) Anyway, around Dec. 1978, Paul hadn't been well and one day he came to tell me he had cancer. His boys went back to his ex-wife and he was going down to Florida where he could wait it out in nice weather. I never knew the truth until I received word that he had been diagnosed HIV + late in '78 and had passed away during the summer of '79. Needless to say, I was both devistated and petrified. My wild times came to an abrupt stop, as I watched in horror as far too many of my friends succombed to the scourge. They had new tests by the end of '78 but like most gay men at the time, I was afraid to go and be tested. It was a frightening time. |
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| TO THE 80's | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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