Past issues of Thinker's Room can be found HERE!!! Reading any further means that you agree to the DISCLAIMER

April 24: An invitation for dinner I'd be hard pressed to let slide ;-)
May 1: A Holiday of some sort! There is a party, a family get together and a movie invitation slotted for the same date. Hmm....
May 5: Meat eating expedition with the boyz!
May 6: Happy birthday Chris you old cow you!

INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KIMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

Indeed, for those nice people who inquired after my health and well-being let me hasten to assure you that I am in excellent health. I am fine. I have been missing chiefly due to the fact that the nice ladies and gentlemen that run my network were looking the wrong way when a virus without so much as a 'by your leave' infiltrated the network and proceeded to attempt to replicate ever file on every computer on that same network. The resulting mess had to be seen to be believed but all's well that ends well. Am back and better than ever;-)

Just to remind y'all
I am not a guest of the government
I am not reclining face down on some hospital bed somewhere
I am not a member of the Constitutional Review Commission of Kenya
I am not having bullets removed from my person after an unwilling meeting between myself and the boys in blue.

A good friend of mine who we shall refer to as Ida invited me for a chicken lunch. I am not a proud man and I acknowledge heartily the only other person besides the Matriarch and the head Chef at the Savoy that can cook better than myself. Only a fool would refuse such a meal and without a second thought I went over and had myself an excellent repast. I have some recollection of licking my fingers. It was not until I was well on my way with the ice cream when a fascinating question came my way, asked with a casual nonchalance that even the statue of Jomo Kenyatta in Parliament would have seen through: "Does Jim mention me?". Phoenix Players, Mbalamwezi Players and Heartstrings Ensemble are really missing out on my talent as very few people are able to keep a straight face and ice cream in their mouths when they have an urge to burst into laugher. Two answers were possible:
a) Yes, he does mention you. He mentions you a lot. However a bewildering array of farm animals also gets mentioned in the same sentence! That gentleman would rather spend time with a decaying cactus than you, I am afraid so it is sheer folly to entertain such sentiments.
b) No. Should he?

Being a prudent man I assumed my most buffoonish expression and asked the second, and in true female fashion subterfuge was employed the dismissed the topic from the horizon. But it brought to mind a situation that I ran into quite some time ago that on retrospect I find unable to believe. Being the nice dude I am who is always ready and willing to listen, I am privy to quite a few confidences and some 3 years back I remember being a fascinated observer to the one and only love rectangle I have ever been witness to. No, I do not mean a triangle. A rectangle. As in four sides! Summarized, the situation was as follows. (Naturally pseudonyms are in use. Or are they???)

Pato dug Grace like an enthusiastic farmer. Even the way she scratched her scalp intrigued him. However Grace thought that Pato was a particularly unintelligent specimen of Homo Sapiens and he was ranked narrowly above a garden. Grace however was into
Teddy a dashing young lad who found the very sight of Grace unsettling. He considered her laugh too loud and her voice too tinny. He found her anecdotes trying to his already limited patience. But he had a very soft spot for one lass called
Flora who would much rather walk on hot coals than be within spitting distance of Teddy. She found him irritating and often compared him to a rash. In fact, if I recall correctly, the actual words were Black Plague. Flora, as a matter of fact would much rather be in the same room as one Pato, who unfortunately found her, and I quote, 'fascinatingly boring. Nothing remotely interesting ever comes out of the damn woman's mouth!'

If that's not a love rectangle I have no idea what is!

When it's rainy one can adjust the interior of a BMW to make it warm. Follows that when it's warm one can adjust the interior of a BMW to make it rainy???

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

Pinky: To say that I am flattered would be an understatement!
Gathoni: I am seriously beginning to become concerned! Where on earth are ye?
Hilary: The next time God is doing his creation bit wait until the brains are given out before you split, OK?
Wanja: Where on earth have you gotten to then?
Bryan: I've read your mail and am giving it a thought.
Simiyu: I've read your mail and am also giving it some thought.
Eve: You're not that girl!
Jonah: You, sir, are a River Troll. And no doubt River Trolls all over will soon be complaining at the insult done to them.