A BEAUTY PAEGENT like no other!
THIS IS A DREAM!
SOCCER MANIA - clash of the titans
DO TELL... Questions that beggar an answer!
Keep up to date. Visit the INFORMATION DESK
EULOGIES should be more along these lines....
THE GIRLS PLAY BALL
INTELLIGENCE is not as common as you think!
Fun and games at a UNIVERSITY RIOT!
There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KUMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

I have an impressive array of ten exams to grapple with for the next two weeks, an impressive combination of term papers, essays, analyses and projects and an even more impressive array of projects to tackle at work. I could swear my boss rubs his hands with enthusiasm at the very thought!

In addition, expenditure on shoes, sandals, slippers, clogs and sandaks have led me to the inevitable conclusion that I need a vehicle of some sort. My trusty two stroke, protein powered engine is beginning to complain audibly, and I deeply resent borrowing the Patriarch's -- but more on that later....

Unless you live in some backwater, you will no doubt be aware that there is chronic flooding in our hallowed land. The following situation has arisen:

THERE IS SO MUCH WATER THERE IS NO WATER

I kid you not. The net effect of this is:

Taps run dry
Some certain rooms within the home are becoming zones Hans Blix and his merry bunch would be most reluctant to visit
Bath soap is viewed as a tool of oppression to keep the Black Man down
Toothpaste and toothbrushes lying undisturbed in glasses and shelves
Large numbers of Nairobi's elite smelling like a herd of Oxen after a hard day's ploughing. (And at this point let me alert some certain lasses that no amount of YSL is strong enough to counter the effects of failure to take a bath for 4 days!)
Brown has become the new national colour

Well, one or two or seventeen thousand emails, post its, letters and bottles come my way and thank ye, thank ye kindly for them all. ANd there was someone who sent me a box of chocolates. I gave a few to a neighbour's dog and after a week of its robust barking concluded they were not poisoned so I scoffed the lot. That lass who sent her inner things -- the effect was lost by the cobwebs in one of the garments.

I could share with you the lot but really, the only person who appreciates reading them is myself so I won't do that. However, I'll just share a few, as well as ruminations that some people evoke thoughts of Song of Songs and others the Book of Revelation [READ THE ENTIRE THING...]

JOHN MICHUKI, the Minister of Transport and Communications. His chief claim to fame is his inability to look a camera in the eye. In fact the man is so gifted that many a time when he is before Citizen, KTN, Nation, KBC, KAA, KAB and KAC, the man never once looks into the cameras. His usual expression is one that says "Who are these people and why do they have cameras pointing at me?" It is speculated that no one actually told him he was a minister. Performance: 10%
Seeing EMMANUEL KARISSA MAITHA bare chested in Giriama tribal gear the other day left me in no doubt that he would be quite at home with the X Men. My supper was totally ruined after taking in that sight. He'd the the X - er - person whose mutation is a belly that leads me to suspect he will soon be the proud father of a Sherman Tank and talking, talking and talking. This cat can talk the bark off a Mugumo tree! Performance: 80%
CHRISTOPHER MURUNGARU is another X-Man in the making. Besides choosing canvas tents as his normal mode of dress, his two mutations are sweating like he has a furnace in his trousers and his other mutation is laughing in a very RIDICLUS manner at the most inopportune moments: "He he he, you know these are just pure criminals... he he!". The suits this dudes wears bear a striking resemblance in texture and colour to the stuff the army uses to cover its lorries to protect them from dust, rain and errant bullets .Performance: Break out your log tables!

Kadhi Courts? What would it affect the price of fried beef if they were introduced? Doesn't bother me - let the Muslims have them!

Beauty paegent article that somehow got lost!
People say I'm weird. Interpret this dream!
Read Issue 56: Life after death and soccer mania!
A look at the fascinating (not my words!) Journal
Much needed Peace And Quiet

17 May: Angela gets to be yet a year older!
26 May: Exams!!!
28 May: Penny's journey to an old bag continues
9 June: Off to the coast for a solid week!
16 June: Duty! Impressive backlog awaits me

A very big wollapa, wasadili, what's cooking, niaje and wassup to the gaggle of countrymen and women at Harvard, led by Muthoni, the First Lady of the same. The same goes to the lads and lasses of MIT. The post of first lady at this point is vacant, and am taking applications.

Gunners For Life -- next season UEFA, FA, Premier, CECAFA & Moi Golden Cup are ours!