Yaani people are real vegetables. NO MORE MAIL asking for past issues! For the last time: Past issues of Thinker's Room can be found HERE!!! And reading any further means that you agree to the DISCLAIMER

March 22: Cliff! Mid-life crisis! You're 25!
March 23: For the fourth year running, Nina is turning 23. Shall also make it a point to visit the small children at Kenyatta and kick a ball while they kick me.
April 1: My nearest and dearest had better beware! My plans for my April 1 are complete! :-)

There are SOME DAYS...
A KUMI KIMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

As to the KANU hawk Joseph John (whose resemblance to that bird is quite notable) his exit was anything but dignified. Shouts of laughter greeted his withdrawal from the race. Yells of merriment trailed poor JJ to his seat...

Uhuru Kenyatta's world has been spinning for the past few months and clearly this is a gentleman who does not have the slightest idea of what is going on. From obscurity he was given on a platter a ministerial post and now a Vice Chairmanship. I'll bet the young Greek/Turk/Cypriot is till trying to get to terms with the fact that he is an MP let alone a minister and Vice Chairman of KANEW!

John Harun Mwau's smile disappeared as shouts of merriment and resounding boos greeted his welcome into Kasarani. Surreptitious attempts to investigate if the cold reception could be due to the remains of a very leafy supper adhering to his teeth yielded nothing and so the poor fellow found an idle bench and composed himself for slumber.

Musalia Mudavadi's befuddled smile was much in evidence that day. He was so moved by the events of the day that he was driven to throw a party for his friends and supporters and do justice to a good number of fattened fowls.

If Noah Katana Ngala is anything he is constant. From the same blank look, to the same monotone, to the same suit, he is about as excitable and interesting as a slab of concrete.

Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka's cheek muscles must be aching from all the smiling that he has been doing for the past few says to canvas support from delegates as well as dumping like hot potatoes individuals who even remotely looked like they were a threat to him. Joe Nyagah in particular changed the urbane brown of Musyoka's complexion to a overdone shade of red after that gentleman attended a lengthy meeting, signed copious numbers of forms promising to drop from the race, shook hand, drank coffee and clapped everyone on the back turned around and precisely put his name down for the fun and games. His "good friend" Harun Mwau was similarly dropped like an unexpected catch of predigested beef.

Nicholas Bitwott must be smiling secretly to his short self as he pulled off another set of coups including drumming the like of Saitoti into oblivion.

As for young Raila I am just waiting for the inevitable fast one to be pulled on him and then see where he lands. However so moved was this gentleman to be elected that he immediately rushed to his new office, forgetting 3 of his bodyguards and a bag of groundnuts at Kasarani. He had to be convinced by aides to rise from the seat as it was generally felt 4 hours sitting there and smiling at the wall was eerie...

Just received some correspondence from a good buddy of mine who we shall call Jim to protect him from his many enemies. Jim is the kind of brother who will surreptitiously introduced crushed laxative tablets into the party punch and sit back gleefully to await the results. He has been keeping me informed of his escapades and I feel compelled to share some of them. I do not believe any of them for one second but they do make for good reading.

Apparently one of Jim's colleagues is a thoroughly irritating rat faced young man who derives glee from making everyone's life sheer hell. Things came to a head when the lass Jim was eyeing was informed that Jim already was already spoken for. Which was true, but Jim insists that the rat-faced friend went out of his way to impart this knowledge. Jim therefore got even. This took place in 3 stages:

• Replace rat faced friend's hair gel with hair remover
• Incorporate a handful of iron filings into the rat faced friend's washing
• Squirt super glue into car doors of rat faced friend's car

I am led to believe that the rat faced friend is now a very bitter man...

Then there is another dude from Calcutta who my Aunt tells me can change his skin colour. His name is nothing other than Badili Shah!

Finally summoned the energy to start work on those articles that I have been promising and have already done two or three. Watch this space!
Postpone the idea of the essays at least for the first few months. I shall get to them in good time
Write lots more of those articles that everyone is harassing me to write.
Change the entire layout of the page

Otherwise everything will pretty much me the same ;-)

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

Doreen: Is intelligence acquired or inherited? And if it is, does it skip generations?
Beatrice: Very funny, very funny indeed!
Aida: Where on earth have you got to then?
Mumbi: Did as I promised. Hit me up ASAP!
George: Continuing doggedly to be a first class jackass. Dude, don't you get tired of doing it??
Laura: Now you, I have no words for you. But I can take a hint!
Anissa: Singing to me is a sure way of getting me to sell BOTH my kidneys!
Jozie: We have taken the maiden from the village. Can we take the village out of the maiden?
That jackass trying to sell me mailing lists: I shall make sure I subscribe you to as many mailing lists that I can find!
Jimmy: You, sir, are the don of dons!
RIP: What's cooking man?!!
Judy: Time's A wasting!
Cherie: Silence is not always golden!
Byran: Am open to suggestions
Geff: How did it go? Did you go all out then??!