Yaani people are real vegetables. NO MORE MAIL asking for past issues! For the last time: Past issues of Thinker's Room can be found HERE!!! And reading any further means that you agree to the DISCLAIMER

March 15: On Friday, Time To Party!
March 22: Cliff! Mid-life crisis! You're 25!
March 23: For the fourth year running, Nina is turning 23. Shall also make it a point to visit the small children at Kenyatta and kick a ball while they kick me.
April 1: My nearest and dearest had better beware! My plans for my April 1 are complete! :-)

A KUMI KIMI Guide for the novices. A MUST read!
A POEM for someone special!
DEAREST JOHN: John Doe's better half replies with energy to issues raised by her worse half!
DEAREST JANE: A man addresses issues such as crossing rivers for his beloved...
FAVOURITE MOVIES Some notable personalities share their favourite flicks
PRESS RELEASE FROM THE AFGHANISTANI BROADCASTING CORPORATION The proprietor of Afghanistan's first TV studio shares his visions
DEDICATIONS: Music is the language of the heart -- touching messages to loved and not so loved ones

There are times when a freestyle dress code does not win you friends and influence people. Case in point is the other day when I occasioned to visit a client over at View Park Towers with a spring in the step of my sneakers and many creases on my sadly faded jeans. Even if I do say so myself that KBL hat looked quite fetching.

The watchmen at the lobby took a dim view of my appearance and wanted to ensure that I was in no doubt of that. The two guards at the reception right before the elevators took one look and I could have sworn the gents had a double take and before I knew it they had come out from behind their station to take a closer look at the phenomenon before them.

"Excuse me," the chap in front said looking up at me. From what I could gather he was about four feet four inches, three of them the soles of his boots.

I transferred the chewing gum from the right side of my mouth to my left and looked down at the man. He blinked twice then looked around just to make sure of his facts. Feeling left out I also looked around. The populace going in and out of View Park towers could be classified as follows:

• Those in two piece suits
• Those in three piece suits
• Those in broken suits
• Those in executively cut dresses
• Those in blindly cut dresses
• Those in shorts, overalls, bermudas and miscellaneous attire

The man looked back at me then smiled delicately.

"Where are you going?" He asked sweetly.

Usually I have a formidable array of sarcastic rejoinders but I was in a hurry and Debonair's Pizza was calling loudly for a much delayed but welcome late lunch, so I merely told him where I was headed.

He smiled tolerantly and guided me to the front desk where a third guard was watching with rapt fascination the vision approaching him. He put away his newspaper and heaved himself upright with the skill borne of much practice.

"Well, well, my young friend, are you lost?" He asked kindly. I informed him curtly that no, I was not lost. He then proceeded to inquire if I knew where I was. I was about to answer very curtly but I am trying very hard to lose my sarcastic nature so I merely assured him that I did know where in fact I was. That he and his colleagues were hard pressed to believe me I was left in no doubt.

"What's in the bag?" Was the next question. Here I am afraid my resolutions went out the window and the beast within emerged. "Bag? This bag on my back? Chapo tatu, ugali mboga na samaki."

Two of the guards immediately burst into uproarious laughter but the man before me clearly had a lesser sense of humour. With a whiplash like look the other two immediately assumed expressions that could have been carved from granite.

"Can I see your ID?" He asked me next. I fear any traces of my resolutions were now tossed completely out the window. I told him most emphatically "No." A tense silence descended immediately upon our little congregation. "These are the regulations here! You must give me your ID!"

I was about to give him directions to the nearest Chief's Office where he could obtain an ID of his own but thought better of it. Instead I told him I saw no reason why I should leave my hard earned ID card with him. The story of my acquisition of an ID card is the stuff of legend but that is the matter of another story altogether. The point of the matter is that after all the trouble, soup and caned children I had to go through to get that ID I was damned if I was going to leave it with a tubby man with a whistle dangling from his throat.

A stalemate is a situation that arises when three beefy men wish you to empty your notebook case on the counter and you yourself want to do nothing of the kind. A stalemate is also the situation that arises when a young urbanite who takes being casual to extreme limits wishes to ascend to the nineteenth floor and three beefy men in charge of security want you to do nothing of the kind.

By the time the whole thing ended the guards' counter was littered with a odd notebook computer, mobile phone, assorted sweets and chewing gum, note paper, a red black and green biro, an orange peel, a piece of chalk and a whiteboard marker, not to mention a small teddy bear. The crowd around the counter had grown to include two more guards, some amused passers by and an irate MD of an company that had been waiting over half an hour for its consultant!

There is a dude out of Bombay fresh in the country to astound us all with his stretching and body bending tricks. His name is Nyoro Shah!

Finally summoned the energy to start work on those articles that I have been promising and have already done two or three. Watch this space!
Postpone the idea of the essays at least for the first few months. I shall get to them in good time
Write lots more of those articles that everyone is harassing me to write.
Let you sample some of My other works. I invite opinions on some of the short stories I've written
Change the entire layout of the page

Otherwise everything will pretty much me the same ;-)

I have a constitutional right to give My own shout-outs to whoever I please!

Doreen: Is intelligence acquired or inherited? And if it is, does it skip generations?
Rani: Am very, very,very sorry!
Beatrice: Very funny, very funny indeed!
Aida: Where on earth have you got to then?
Mumbi: Did as I promised. Hit me up ASAP!
George: Continuing doggedly to be a first class jackass. Dude, don't you get tired of doing it??
Laura: Now you, I have no words for you. But I can take a hint!
Anissa: Singing to me is a sure way of getting me to sell BOTH my kidneys!
Jozie: We have taken the maiden from the village. Can we take the village out of the maiden?
That jackass trying to sell me mailing lists: I shall make sure I subscribe you to as many mailing lists that I can find!
Jimmy: You, sir, are the don of dons!
RIP: What's cooking man?!!
Judy: Time's A wasting!
Cherie: Silence is not always golden!
Byran: Am open to suggestions
Geff: How did it go? Did you go all out then??!