The Hours

March 4, 2003

Starring: Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore, Nicole Kidman, Ed Harris, Claire Danes, Stephen Dillane, Allison Janney, John C. Reilly, Miranda Richardson, Toni Collette, Jeff Daniels

Director: Stephen Daldry

Official Website: http://www.thehoursmovie.com/home.php

I`ve seen Chocolat, I`ve seen In the Bedroom, I`ve even seen Shakespeare in Love. But this flick really takes the cake for bad Oscar nominated movies. Or any kind of movie. Ever. Why should anybody care to see three old women bitch and whine for absolutely no reason, doing so in the most over (or under, whichever way you look at it) dramatic, mercilessly slow fashion? Some will call this a "movie-goer"`s movie, I think it just plain sucks.

Tell me, do we care if Nicole Kidman can act like a 45 year old with a big nose? Or Meryl Streep can act like a 50 year old homosexual? If they are doing so in the most boring of scenarios, does their "Oscar nominated performances" make it a reason to see the movie? NO!! I said NO!!! I`m disgusted that these people thought there was any premise for a movie, even a 15 minute one, amongst this dramatic mess.

I wish I could say something nice about this, but what good what that do? All that would do is possibly trick some of you in thinking there is some good in this and go see it because it is nominated. And I care too much about my fans to do this. These pricks in charge of voting have done enough, don`t you think?

In the end, I don`t regret seeing it, because I want to see all those nominated for Best Picture. The only thing I regret is making myself stay awake. To say this movie is slow is a big complement, because that implies there is a climax somewhere at the end of the movie. There is no such thing here. Heck I almost jumped out of my seat when one of the actors giggled. This is as lame as they come. If this wins anything at the Oscars that will be a sad day in Hollywood. I`m even debating giving the booby prize for worst 2002 flick to this instead of Crossroads. Sad. Very Sad.

In short:
Comedy: Dreadfully unfunny
Violence/language: A few profanities, violence most certainly a no-show
Nudity/sex: haha...well you do get to see Meryl streep kiss another woman...
High Points: Good performances for absolutely no reason
Low Points: As dreadfully and painfully sleep inducing as they come, sorry excuse for a movie premise

Rating: D