RIKodokan Okinawan Goju-Ryu Karate Main

WORDS OF WISDOM

On this page you will find spiritually uplifting, kata enhancing words of wisdom. But for the benefit of others who may not have read this page yet or who may not be quite as wise as yourself, any knowledge gained here should not be brought into the dojo. As always, everyone is encouraged to share their thoughts or ideas by posting them in our guest book (found on the main page). Remember, you are unique, just like everyone else.

New quotes are appended at the top, usually at weekly intervals.

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.

A blind guy walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help you sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind guy. 'Just looking.'

Most organizations are like a septic tank. The really big chunks rise to the top.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

What's another word for thesaurus?

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

I want to live forever, or die trying.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

I can resist anything but temptation.

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

If I save time, when do I get it back?

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

People who are late are often happier than those who have to wait for them.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was yesterday?

In the beginning there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing.

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock.

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it by myself!

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs!

We do precision guesswork.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

Gene Police: YOU!! Out of the pool!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead.

Buy in haste, repent in leisure.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Dyslexics have more fnu.

Dyslexics of the world, untie.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

As we mature we tend to ponder the deeper questions, Like, if Mike Brady was such a good architect how come he only had one upstairs bathroom- for 6 kids? And no toilet... Did you ever see one???

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner!

Yield to temptation, the opportunity may not come your way again.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.

Pride is something we have. Vanity is what others have.

I love animals, they taste great.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

As the warm weather approaches we have a tendency to indulge in foods that are not beneficial to our chi. In keeping with the Mind, Body, and Spirit, don't forget that Ben and Jerry kata is NOT in our curriculum. Even if you balance the hard (Go) ice cream with the soft (Ju) fillings. Increasing your hara is not a good thing here.

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