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Poetry-to be updated


I like to write poetry, often when I'm either bored or distressed. Here are some of my poems listed under certain "categories." The newest poetry are marked with a *.


>>Love


Moment
coffee
movement
Left Shattered
Gone
You*
Rain*
Never Speak Up*



>>Abstract thinking


Devour by the spoon
Innocence
shakespeare
some neurotic prose
gertrude stein
in and out
end



>>Anger, Frustration


Therapy
bad day 3.2.04
violin



>>Sadness


displacement
The sad Musician
untitled 21803 for you
despair 89
old man today



>>Blue theme


blue
faded blue and jazz



>>Crazy Rhymes


Zoey didn't update her web journal entry
Jellyfish Jellyfish I love you
Squishy
i like food*



>>Other


For Cole
Manila
sleepless rambling
blasphemy
17 afternoons in June
weariness sits upon






Therapy


I hate...
how worthless this poem is...
it's not even a poem..
and...I'm so angry
and hurt
and distracted
and alone,
all bottled inside, extra carbonated
when all i want to do is sleep to escape
it all while the world around me crumbles
in increasing cadenzas
And no
I don't wanna talk about my problems
And no, I do not understand
that you understand how I feel
you can't find any emotion in me; it's
hidden in a crumpled piece of paper
that screams FRUSTRATION!!!!
Go to hell.



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displacement


the little rock
on the sidewalk
had stumbled out
from its rock pile
by hills of mulch



with a chipped smile,
dew in his eye
wondering how
to get back home
to the others



on the cement
where the rock lay
the hurried child
stopped by, bent down
and picked it up



and threw the
little rock
at a window



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bad day 3.2.03


Can you give me an eraser?
the smile doesn't look
like a smile
it's on a maybe person, half erased
Sorry, couldn't draw the body right.
Let's just pretend he's
having a bad day.
Look, he's
beneath lofty branches...
of a tree doesn't look like a tree
and the sky...I know
the sky could never be the sky
Give me another piece of paper.



[back to top]


blue


he with the sapphire eyes
gave me a blue balloon
and bid me goodbye
as i started to fall
gently into the sky



quietly past the moon,
past the sea of silent
stars bathed in blue,
while i drift towards
the faint music, wrapped
in clouds like a cocoon



[back to top]


Innocence


Teacher: (voice over-authoritative
towards the tardy student)



come on by
and
we
Shall Have A Conversation
you
and
I



Blanche: (voice over-seductively
towards the paper boy)



come on by
and
We
shall have a conversation
You
And
I



Tony Soprano: (voice over-New Jersey
Italian accent, towards future victim)



Come On By
And
We
Shall Have A Conversation
You
And
I



[ A product of sleep deprivation.]


[back to top]


the sad musican


he can't play that certain song
the one he used to love
his fingers are cramped up
like rakes, searching
where the feeling has gone



when the audience applauds,
throwing encores at his feet.
his wrists hurt
from trying too hard



he wonders if his dream
has gotten too far behind
and thinks about going home
and playing that song he used to love






[back to top]


moment


if it was this moment
there I'll be sitting
by your open window
tracing out whispers
that carress the midnight
trying to not wake you up
with my voice so out of place
and my laughter
too loud and big for me
lest i should fall from this window
you catch me (and with sleepy eyes)
as i laugh some more



[back to top]


For Cole


Gazing at the blue world leaning gently against a glass case
I see the subtle shadow of he sitting against the pane
Dreaming inside a dream of impossible


I cup my ear to hear his muffled words coming in murmurs;
Like picking red flowers for a lover, he stutters finding
The right words among the shattered paragraphs


His everything is in the fist of his hand, captured gently
Like a tiny crepe butterfly resting in a child's cupped hand
Like a sculptor, he would be lost without hands


Barely visible, he, in the window, dreams of attention
He apologizes for pretending a disappointment.
Stifling anger and impatience with silence.


Now you tell me to open the window, put some Coltrane on
and papers fly like disturbed butterflies like a movie scene
With much yelling you crumple those butterflies


And as you return picking at your work, I shut the window
finding he in the window pane gone like the awakened dream
My reflection in place as Coltrane plays on



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BLASPHEMY


From God's Pulpit---
He ignores
the deformed letters scrawled
upon the People's Hearts---
And sees--- the Blasphemy
i wrote on my hands
hears the Blasphemy i whispered
in a child's ear, sees
A hypocrite--- knelt in Prayer
While his voice feels distant----
His metallic Voice--- warped---
in---- mechanic--- articulation---
craddled between---deep heaving sighs
and his silent reminscing---
---of Jesus--



[back to top]


faded blue and jazz


this memory
spoken to me
as a child who passes by



there is no sound
yet rain comes down
in my faded blue and jazz



that child don't know
my radio
don't play my songs no more



i felt the rain
and heard my pain
and my memory is no more



[back to top]


coffee


the cold metallic
still of the night
has gotten to me
again
this...
if i take a sip
it runs, sliding
sometimes too fast
mellow, scalding
down my throat
the air permeated
with such fragrances
the smell of morning memories
has captured me
i can take the warmth slowly
with cream please
and sugar thank you
it's so classic
but i still i hate it
the bitterness and aftertaste
after it's gone...
but i seem to never drink coffee
or finish it
my teaspoons half empty,
reflections in and out,
spooning more of it up
and now i do need it
more than ever
for i can never go without it
when you're not here
sleeping beside me



(1:56 am 7/20/03 that is love)



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GERTRUDE STEIN


the pages pages pages pages pages
go onzzzzz
zzzzzzrambling
repeatingzzzzzz repeating
zzzzzraving
going on and onzzzz
on and onzzzzz
on and on....zzzzz
zzzzfeel like going to sleepzzzzz
zzzzzzzrest my head zzzzzz and wake up
next weekend morningzzzzz
zzzzzit seemed like a good storyzzzz
i laid down my headzzzzz
wake me up when it's done



[back to top]


"Despair 89"


it had left me standing here
between the shadows
i had made
they were deformed
i had failed



[back to top]


old man today


I saw the Old Man today----
Sitting in his Boat
Crackled map Hands---- light as Living Mummies
Lying together in his lap----
Drowsy with Patience----
I saw his blotched head against the sun
Was he Sleeping was he Dreaming? think of her----
I caught his Sighs from across the Sea
Felt the Still Air shift as he slowly Breathed----
That Living Flesh-----
I saw Sea splashed on his cheek
Watched it drop unto his Hands---
He was just still listening for Her----
Waiting for Her Feeling for Her----
under the Ocean-----



[back to top]


Manila


Emotions rise from an old Melody---
like the forgotten Phoenix from his Ashes
drinking a lover's puddle of Tears,
--the Radio always plays a good song--< city lights flitter across my aged face,
i don't want the World to see me
afraid Someone seehearfeel my thoughts
placed gently between the Darkness--
the Radio always plays a good song--Darkness,
the restaurant used to be there
when he was still there for me
when they were still there for me,
---the Radio always plays a good song----<<
---Memories don't wait for me---
child's Immortality placed to grow
in small yellow slipper,
...the Radio always plays a good song...
...the Radio always plays a good song.



[back to top]


movement


solo: hand
cdefgabc
cbagfedc...
now together,
both hands
duet;
hands and piano
cdefgabc cdefgabc...
cdefgabc cdefgabc...
fingers gently caressing,
resting upon
the keys,
it�s
perfect rhythm
pianissimo, dolce...
just like
playing piano
miss those hands



[back to top]


sleepless rambling


you have made the hour
a leaf in your hand
your finger upon it
like a caterpillar
me, painting the
spooned watchfulness
of the moon
starved and dissolved
counting those
lying awake
the truth in darkness
to lull me with a voice
play me a tuned piano
as i grasp onto the night
before the day comes.



[back to top]


in and out


in from Here...i Heard
that profoundbluerain;
i dreamt of Hiding
between RainDrops;
in and out



ahhh, that Boisterous Serenade
with its highs and lows
Laughing from Rooftops,
Mocking the
Brown Insensitive Pavement;
in and out



faint Echoes;
clink of the Unhappy
Dangling Wind Chime
begins to envy
Greening Trees swept away
in wet swoon
in and out



Leaves
probably Shiny
and Reflected in Blue
by the Touch of a Hand;
a maybe Dellusion
in and out



in my profoundbluerain
between those Drops
i hear my Breathing
in
and
out



[back to top]


Shakespeare


i felt the Words
fail in my hands,
lovely burning Poem;
turning please
hands too small
to make a Fist
To squeeze;
fingers too weak
To carress the Sound;
it's gone;
His Eulogy silences
my educated confusion



[back to top]


"some Neurotic Prose"


no one listens to a crazy man
bellowing in the street
he's singing lullabyes to the night
when the sun's above him
he likes lullabyes



no one listens to a crazy man
his outrageous philosophies, dissent
noncomformity and society coexist
he's obviously neurotic, they say



just give him a blanket, they finally say
give him food
can't speak with a mouth full
but i still hear the lullabye, i say
he is crazy, they tell me
listen to your neighbor



everyone listens to their neighbor
everyone listens to their neighbor
everyone listens to their neighbor
neighbors are quite normal
neighbors take comfort in sanity...
in sanity
in sanity
in sanity
insanity....



[back to top]


"untitled 21803 for you"


i reWrote this poem----
many times Before
etching it Over and Over Again---
on bathroom stall
while i---
hummed it Over and Over Again---
Hoping you'd hear
my ruined Symphony---
and see the Stale words
within my Heart
You never listened---



[back to top]


end


the book felt useless
like
bundles of pages fallen apart
my english teacher's
silent distraught
it's over
the ending



[back to top]


Violin, i'm aChild (dedicated to -----)


that Comes and Go--
Violin, You came to
play withme--
and i lovedYou
through all the years--
always Big for me
but You've been withme
and i used to Laugh
withYouViolin--
i practice and practice,
and play and play
your Mozart
again and again
with a worn plastic Smile
like the Prodigy in the Books--
though My Fingers
are weary with callous
upon so many broken strings
and My music stand
sadly droops under
the weight of Beethoven---
but violin, I've lost interest
through the Years
I'm Grown Up Now
Wishing you in your
Case Closed and Shut
but I keep playing
my scales on
the violin
god i hate you so



[back to top]


17 afternoons in june


this boredom
beside me
is the sky
delicious amber delight
wishing my sighing storm
into a dream
the day end's cool calmness
replaces the explicit laziness
leaves my hot grey soul
slow and mellow as
a radio
i softly lay
here



[back to top]





weariness sits upon


weariness sits upon
my hands silent
and heavy.
as the world
is nothing but
tiny slits
drowning in
shallow darkness
while everything is
a standstill but
our breathing



[back to top]


Devour by the spoon



a glance of sky brushed
by on cold silver



as clouds caressed by
like whiffs of dream fog



the world flashes by
quick as an eyelash



I turn to see you
there in the corner



distorted and sleek
like drops of water



I smile and with my
spoon, scoop some ice cream



and let the world and
you melt in my mouth



[back to top]


Zoey did updated her web journal


the week isn't going so great
this sadness i have and hate
and I need a good ha-ha
to make me feel bettah
so here i am signing on to aol
clicked zoey's link-what the hell?!
her web journal not updated
do i need to be sedated?
i need my daily dose of zoey
"where is my friday entry?!"
so "what now, zoey?" i then say
"shall i take ur anime?"
Until you write me something,
your manga, i shall be ripping.
but since you're not online
i'll let you go this time
i go and eat fish on a stick
because it's pretty fantastic
hope on saturday
a new entry-happy day



[back to top]


Jellyfish Jellyfish, I love you


jellyfish jellyfish i love you
swimming in the ocean so blue
i came to visit you by the sea
and feed you many treats to eat
and you'd look at me and somehow smile
as i talk to you for a while
jellyfish jellyfish i love you
swimming in the ocean so blue
your tenticles wave back and forth
as you swim in the sea from the north
hee hee, you were my best friend
you'd always be there til the end
jellyfish jellyfish i love you
swimming in the ocean so blue
i went to a restaurant in philly
they placed a plate in front of me
it looked like a plate of noddles- ohh?
but alas they said it was you-NOOOOO!!!
jellyfish jellyfish i ate you
swimming in my stomach-boo hoo



[back to top]


Squishy


I had a turtle named squishy
It's a boy; he ain't no missy
He liked to fight a lot
And oh man, he kicked butt
With a mean face he'd see his foe
And then say "What's the dilly yo?"
The bunny challenged him to a fight
What was stronger, speed or might?
But oh no, the shell was too heavy for him
Enemy too fast, Squishy can't win
And the enemy looked like he just won
But squishy said "Bring it on."
said the bunny, "Haha....you cannot get me.."
And rolling with his huge shell, went squishy
and bunny was flattened by his shell
Another win of squishy ...Oh well...
He won a fight, jumped a hurtle
Squishy the Galapagos turtle



[back to top]


"a smile"


i scald the pain inside
with a cup of hot cocoa
and marshmallows
waiting for the sugar rush
to get to my head



[back to top]





Left Shattered


it's been shining outside, but here doesn't feel alright
our picture, sun shines all day, our faces never change
the flowers you once gave that day, are now thrown away
you are a memory now, I want to see you somehow



CHORUS:
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
cuz you'd just push me away, easy as erasing a name
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
but now I just need your face, tell me everything's okay.

your picture is still on my wall, i'm wondering if you'd still ever call
My friends have gone away, it seems like no one ever stays
and i can't do anything, can't eat or even think
The days seem hard and long, everything feels so wrong



CHORUS:
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
cuz you'd just push me away, easy as erasing a name
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
but now I just need your face, tell me everything's okay.



I'm so lonesome and broken, my light has been stolen
You don't know how I feel, do you feel this pain I feel?
nothing seems to ease my pain, will things be set right again
I know This pain will receed, the day you talk to me



CHORUS:
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
and my heart won't mend, I need you, I need a friend
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
but now I just need your face, tell me everything's okay.



cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
and my heart won't mend, I need you, I need a friend
cause now I'm left shattered, like i don't even matter
but now I just need your face, tell me everything's okay.



[back to top]


Gone


I miss you.



[back to top]


You


[aimee's written part]
a dream that i was chasing for
home i had been looking for
trying to find a cloud to belong
plucked so gently from your skies



[jason's written part]
I fall down to earth, gently
carressed by the wind as I went
I looked up at the myjestic home from which I came
but I could never return



[back to top]


Rain


i'm a dreamer in blue
gazing out my window
(if you only knew...)
something about the rain
how i hate it and love it
(why i feel this way...)
watching by my window
summer storms, cold autumn rain
(i'll never let you know...)
come walk with me
on cold rainy days
(your presence)
keeps me warm


[back to top]


Never Speak Up


sitting by the glow of my light
i'm wondering if i'll ever break my habit
of staying up late
and give in to a warm bed



over my book my arm
reaches over to play the track again
the sounds of guitars and john mayer ephemeral
as it descends into eternity



"i'll never speak up again...starting now"



the music cycles again while time unravels
slowly and gently, quietly in the distance
my head is cocked gently to my left
as i read my life away til between words



the thought of you introduced so suddenly
and lying, curled gently against your warmth
as you go unknowingly by me
you were always comfortable



with my eyes heavy, i turn off the lights
and all that remains is in the dark
is the thought of you
and my solitude



"i'll never speak up again...it only hurts me."



[back to top]


i like food


i like food
it is so good
in any kind of mood
i eat it like i should
food is good to eat
so give me a treat
(man, i'm sounding a lot like pete)
i think food is really cool
definitely makes me drool
my tummy makes a funny sound
snacks in my dorm, i'm lookin around
alas no food in sight
tummy needs to feel right
man, i'm so hungry
for some food..ooohh so tasty
this poem is getting too long
stalling here..man, it's so wrong
so now i'm going to cafe get some food
because, yeah, food is good.



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