Well, it's certainly been a while since I've made an entry, but what can I say... I've been busy. Can anyone believe it? Hahaha, probably not, but its true. Well, life's been pretty good for me lately, I must say. I have everything I want, except for the happiness of my friends. Why can't everyone be happy at one time? Or is that just too much to ask? Is it just that impossible for everyone to be happy at one time, or would that be inhuman? Are we just that inferior that we can't all be happy at the same time, or is it in human nature that we all must hate, and fear, and be insecure and sad; pathetic. To be human is pathetic... no wonder we can't help but kill eachother, everyone thinks its just one huge game, but in reality, its life and death. Why can't everyone just set their power aside and work on the advancement of the species, or is THAT just too much to ask?

Well, yesterday was grand... I felt like being sick around 7:30pm at work when I finally got around to taking my break after someone told me something that not only made me disgusted, but made me disappointed as a man. How can anyone focus so much on sex? Are people that deprived? Is everyone just horny like rabbits now or what? Is it just too hard to focus on finding love, breaking apart all the rest of life and focus on trying to be happy, even if you don't get anywhere? As far as love goes, okay... I lucked out, I must say, but thats what I get for forcing out love for all those years, being so insecure, shy and most importantly, scared. I've had 4 crushes my whole life... two of them were out of my league completely, one of them turned out to be a smoker that probably would have ruined my life (anyone who knows my life knows who this is) and then there was Jessica, who I finally got with, but coincidently ended up making my life worse... twice. How grand is that? So thats what I get for holding out... not acting on any of my crushes, but one... and only because she brang it up that she wanted me first, and I agreed. How pathetic is that? And with my situation now, I held out even longer.. till grade 12. I had a feeling... a feeling I've had more than once, perhaps, only even twice, but still a feeling. I told Brian I felt like I did when I went with Jessica, when I thought I was in love and I told him I would have a girlfriend soon... I could feel it. I also got really sick around March Break, which also led to the possibility of my 'feeling'. A week after I told Brian about my feeling, around the same time as I got sick, Alice MacDonald told my friend that she liked me, and he coincidently told me. Funny how things work out... but even funnier now, cause it seems like I'm falling for her, hard... while she does the same for me. Am I doing the right thing? or am I just being stupid? Whichever the case, it'll be a month we've been going out this weekend (April 19th) so I guess only time will tell.

To stay on track of my life here, staying in the present. I don't feel good today... I really don't. I woke up every two hours after going to sleep, still aching. My left side was in pain ever since about the 1st of April from coughing so hard, so I went to the doctors the other day to see if I broke a rib or something cause it hurt so badly. The doctor told me to... yes, of course, take Aspirin, because it was muscle pain over my left rib cage. How typical... Today, my side is pretty fine, but it still hurts quite much. I think I'm running out of tylenol! Blah... but to top off my day, I feel sick to my stomach. I woke up at 8:00 and finally decided to get out of bed. Not because I felt rested, but because I couldn't sleep anymore. I woke up with violent cold chills and couldn't take it anymore, so I threw on a sweater and some thick socks to try and keep warm, popping yay, some more tylenol to get rid of both the pain and my fever that I got... 37.5. I know its almost normal, but my temperature is usually low, so about 35.6 or so, so this means I'm sick.

An hour and fourty-two minutes later (9:42am) and I feel alright. Finally warmed up enough that I can take off my grey Grad 2003 sweater, but I feel all icky and gross from the sweat. I think I should eat breakfast soon, I think I'm hungry, or I'm about ready to be sick, one or the other. So anyways, plans for today. Well, I guess Alice is going to be coming over today around 1pm, I'm also going to see if I can get Jeremy Stewart and Soup up, have a little party get-together kind of thing. My dad, my brother and Diana went to Windsor today... I have no fucking idea why, nobody informed me of anything, my dad just told me he was taking the cell phone... don't ask me, no fucking clue. My mom's working... and I think both of my parents are going to my aunt's cottage somewhere near the french shore or something and staying the weekend... whatever, I still don't know. Maybe its best that I remain clueless. Life goes on for me... hopefully everyone else is doing better than I'm feeling.