| Movie Review of "Vanilla Sky" The truth is I had actually seen this film nearly a month ago. It took me this long to crank out the review for a few reasons. First, this is one of those films which many will hate, even fewer will love, and most will just not understand. As such, I wanted to take some time to try and fully comprehend what exactly happened on �Vanilla Sky�. Secondly, Christmas and New Year festivities got in the way. Thirdly, I needed all that time to recover from exposure to Penelope Cruz. If I�d written the review immediately after watching the film, it surely would have been an entire review on the �acting� non-talent of a certain Miss Cruz. Thankfully, the time off I took helped to calm me down, and my comment on said �talent� will hopefully be reduced by half. Open your eyes. That�s the tagline as well as the name of the Spanish thriller (�Obre Los Ajos�) which �Vanilla Sky� is based on, and it�s something you definitely have to do while watching this film. Not because there be the tendency to drift off to zzz-land because of the somewhat convoluted plot, but because there are lots of things happening in the film, often not in linear time. Just like �American Beauty� invited us to �look closer�, this film commands the viewer to �open your eyes�. Those three words carry much more weight in the film than one could ever imagine. There�s not much else I can say about the film without giving too much away. Tom Cruise plays David Aames, a philandering hotshot magazine mogul, who�s comfortably taking over his father�s publishing business, and enjoying life. Then there�s Julie, played by Cameron Diaz in a key supporting role. Julie is David�s friend, and they are what people call friends who sleep together sometimes. One day, at a party, David�s good friend (played by Jason Lee, in a very key role) brings Sofia (Penelope Cruz) along, and the two lock eyes, and fall in love. They flirt a little, and David ends up at Sofia�s apartment. Nothing happens (a very important point) and he leaves the next day, convinced that he has found his soulmate. Then things start to get bizarre. As David is about to leave Sofia�s block, Julie drives along and invites him in for a drive. Then she goes all psychotic and drives the car through a barrier, killing herself and disfiguring David very badly. After this, David has to come to terms with the fact that his pretty face has been smashed, and he gets increasingly paranoid that Sofia no longer loves him because of that. Then strange things begin to happen. He begins to hallucinate that Julie is still alive, and even when he undergoes facial reconstructive surgery, he still cannot tear away the memory of Julie. Things take an even more bizarre turn after this, and there is a huge twist that comes along two-thirds into the movie. The twist here isn�t like the twist in �The Others� or �The Sixth Sense�, which nicely spells out everything. It twists, and then you start to wonder what the hell is going on, and the movie spends the nice one-third of its length trying to explain it out. The finale takes place on the roof of a skyscraper, and it is a very intense scene, both for David (who has a fear of heights) and the audience. Its subject is reminiscent of �A.I.� while the way the plot moves along reminded me of �Fight Club�. The movie does indeed challenge some preconceptions that we hold regarding reality, although at the heart of it all it is about one man�s construction of his meaning of happiness. It isn�t that difficult to realise that you�re in strange territory here. The movie opens with a bizarre dream, and we see Times Square in New York empty like it has never been empty. Director Cameron Crowe left in footage of the twin towers, although you really shouldn�t bother looking out for it, because there is no point in doing that, there never has been. Next, Penelope. My favourite scene in the whole movie must have been the scene where Tom Cruise slammed the door in Penelope Cruz�s smirking face. I actually laughed out loud during that precious moment, although I�m pretty sure no one else in the theatre shared my chuckle. I recently read news that Penelope Cruz has been feeling overworked lately, and plans to take six months off to rest. Good. I never saw the fascination behind this woman. Fine, this is the only film of hers I have seen, and while she did ruin certain parts of my experience, chiefly with her initially incomprehensible accent, and then her face, she is an okay actress. By that I mean she�s no Tori Spelling. But she ain�t the greatest Spanish chica around, that�s all I�m saying. She has a skeletal frame, overly pouty lips, and her face reminds me of a goldfish, what with her two big eye sockets staring out at me from the cinema screen. And the worst part is that she looks awful when she smiles. Fine, I wouldn�t by any estimate call her ugly. But she really does look better when she does not smile, which is kinda sad. I mean, would you like to only look good when you pout? Didn�t think so. Another peeve of mine is how Penelope has been cast in all sorts of roles that play on the fact that she is some ingenue with an exotic accent. I feel a bit mean saying that she cannot speak English properly, but honestly, my dear Penelope? You�re the one who�s being paid millions to star in half a dozen films, the least you could do is brush up your speaking so we can understand you. I mean, if someone paid me two million dollars to star in a film, I would learn Finnish if my role called for it. The French actors do it, the Mexican actors do it, the Spanish actors do it too. Why can�t you just go on and do it, damnit? Instead of trying to play a Greek girl in �Captain Corelli�s Mandolin�, albeit a Greek girl who not only speaks English, but speaks it with a Spanish accent. I know the EU has done great things for cross-border movement, but Penelope, stop irritating me and take a few speech classes during those six months off. Thank you. Love, River Dawg. R.D.'s Rating : This one sits somewhere between a PUPPY DAWG and a HOUND DAWG. There are just too many irritating actors in it, and don't get me started on Tom Cruise. (What's a PUPPY DAWG? Check out R.D.'s ratings system here.) Sound off!! What can Penelope do to improve her face? Did Cameron D. scare you with her portrayal of the psychotic Julie? Tell me here. |