| The Last Of The Mohicans My astrologer friend introduced me to a woman that would be instrumental in helping me to come out of my shell. She did energy work with the body. The first time I met her I do believe I partook in some astro travel. At least it rivaled some of the best drugs I had ever done. We hit it off well and started to hang out together. For some reason it didn't take long before I told her about my secret life. She was completely unphased by it. Eventually we started going out on the town to movies and more with me dressing in a feminine role. I remember seeing the movie "The Last Of The Mohicans" with her on a cold fall evening. I was totally enthralled by the Native American's long and flowing hair. We were both crying and mesmorized by the movie and its soundtrack. I was moved in a mysterious way by that movie. As we walked out of the theater I told her I was going to have hair like that someday. I hated wigs and ever since I was a child I had always wanted to grow my hair out. I could have never imagined that this movie would be the impetus for me taking on a more feminine persona. Many years later I ended up going to dinner with these two wonderful friends of mine. The astrologer finally got a peek at the result of our first encounter. I'll never forget her exclaiming, "Who's Stephen's girlfriend", when she first got a glimpse of me as Stephanie. |
| Where Do I Fit In? For a great portion of my life I never felt I could identify my compulsion with my feminine inclinations. I never felt comfortable with the term "transvestite" or it's psychiatric definition. For me dressing in the opposite sex's clothes was not done in order to sexually gratify myself. I remember being attracted to feminine things long before I even knew what puberty was. There definitely was a comfort associated with entertaining my feminine side, whether it was dressing or just thinking about doing it. It was simple and pure. The waters just became muddied when I became of age sexually. I think that time was maybe the most confusing of my life. It was much later in my life when I became more familiar with all of the different facets of what has become the ever popular "transgender (a term I've grown to despise) umbrella". Trying to understand the differences between transvestites, crossdressers, and transsexuals was not easy for me. The internet proved to be most enlightening. Transsexuals had a tendancy to irk me because they always seemed so uppity. In my mind they viewed anyone who wasn't TS as a "bottomfeeder"---someone beneath them. I could never keep track of whether it was the CD's or TV's that were always interested in what kind of panties I was wearing. I just could not relate to that type of behavior. I was bound and determined to discover my true nature. There eventually came a time when I figured that the only way I was going to evolve was to start hanging out with members of the trans community, no matter what they considered themselves to be. Ironically, I had been going out in public dressed as a woman for many years before I even had any physical contact with another trans person.Taking the plunge into the trans populace would prove ever interesting for me. |