| There are certain drawbacks to coming from an extremely large family. My father was one of ten children. Those ten children propagated forty six children of their own. This means that I have an abundance of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Can you imagine the process of coming out to all these people? It seems like a never ending task and an overwhelming task notwithstanding. There are occasions when the coming out process can be very heartwarming. When one of my uncles found out about me he took it all in stride and literally embraced me. It wasn't long before he was calling me Stefania. He was very concerned about my upcoming surgery. When I returned from Montr�al he visited me several times to see how I was doing. At one point he invited me to dinner with his wife. One of my cousins (also my godfather) was going to be there along with his wife and his mother (my aunt). I really have no trepidation about coming out to people, but I had considered not going because of the energy it takes to explain myself time and time again. I went anyway and I'm glad I did. When I arrived everyone there tried to diffuse any of the tension by proclaiming: "As long as you are happy, that's all that matters". I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard that one. I smiled at them and then something came out of my mouth that even surprised me. I said "It's really not about being happy. For me it's all about freedom". They were predictably perplexed. Most people would probably think that happiness is tantamount to freedom. But I was not unhappy before I had the surgery. I'll admit that there was plenty of heartache in my life. But there was plenty of happiness, too. I explained to them that what my life sorely needed was the freedom to be whom I felt I was on the inside. I lacked the freedom to display a feminine demeanor and to indulge in the things that I found to be innate and intriguing for a woman. I think they all respected what I had to say and the rest of the evening turned out to be very pleasant. I left there that night pondering what it took for me to gain my freedom. I don't think there was any one thing that set me running down this path. It was a culmination of events that transpired over time which brought me to where I am today. Some of those events stand out in my mind. |
| It's All In The Stars I have dabbled in a great many things trying to attain a greater understanding of myself over the years. After experiencing a past life regression with an interesting and unusual woman, I was told about a friend of hers who happened to study astrology. I'd pretty much try anything once, so I gave this astrologer a call. I gave her all the pertinent information over the phone that was needed to do my natal chart. Once she was done we decided to meet and discuss her findings. When I met this elderly lady, with silver hair, I had no idea that my life would change forever. It was a wonderful encounter. She told me all about myself for an hour and a half. She had me completely pegged without ever having met me. At one point she started telling me all about the fabulous feminine energy in my chart. My ears really perked up when she starting describing the planetary aspects responsible for this. I was completely blown away by this unseemly confirmation of my innermost feelings. How could she possibly know about my little secret? Well, she didn't. But she did do something, unbeknownst to herself, by shedding light on what I had always known was my true nature and had repressed pretty much my whole life. It was like someone was telling me it's okay to be who you are and please go ahead and indulge in that gift. I know the story sounds a little corny, but my life would never be the same after that. She also told me another astonishing thing that caught my attention. She told me, "You like to go where angels fear to tread". This would be a trait that would serve me well as I progressed farther down the transition road. This sweet woman then introduced me to another special woman. |