Squirrely Wrath Version 2.0

Slinging Acorns Since 1983

10/2/05: Ok, so I've been really bad about updating this site... Well, I've updated the Poem of the Day (or the year, as it seems to be working out...). I'll update my pictures and such as soon as anything interesting comes to my attention. My apologies to the boredom with which people were met when they looked at this site... I shall endeavor to improve.

Hey guys! This is your big chance to tell me how horrible you think my website is! Go for it... Let the scathing begin! Be cool, sign the guestbook, AKA, the feedback forum! Let me know you've been here...

My Pictures

Vital Statistics

• Occupation: SENIOR at Longwood University
• Major: BA in Theatre
• Age: 22 years old
• Sign: Gemini
• Status: Single
• Pets: A Jack Russell Terrier named Tiggy, a Siamese cat named Bailey, and a Turkish Angora named Grizabella
• Favorite movies are: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The Village, Pirates of the Caribbean, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Back to the Future, The Hours, Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone and Sleepy Hollow (betcha the Hessian could join the Headless hunt)
• Favorite Musicals: Cats, Seussical: The Musical, Chicago, and My Fair Lady
• Top 5 favorite musical artists: Green Day, Eve 6, Phil Collins, Chicago, Tim McGraw, and The Monkees
• Favorite animals: Bears, monkeys, and of course, squirrels (I am a squirrel...)
• I'm in a fraternity (yes, I am female and an alumnus brother in a fraternity); Alpha Phi Omega
• Will work for chocolate
• I love watching the sun rise over the ocean
• Have monster crushes on Michael J. Fox, Joaquin Phoenix, and Elijah Wood
• Insanely obsessed with all things 80s
• Interesting facts: Have a tattoo of a lizard on my left shoulder; working on screenplay for the book The Good Soldier; did an internship at Shenandoah Summer Music Theatre in 2004

Weird But True

Mission: run out and do this to every guy on purpose...

Poem of the Day

Arlie Girl Feeling cold eyes upon me Ridding me of my clothes Stripping me of my dignity Never had any to begin with Bruises taint my pale skin Never said a word in my defense Didn�t want to cause them pain Never once did I cry out Whimpered in silence Behind my bedroom door People think I�m a rebel They think I�m no good Wish I could prove them wrong Touching me like he touches her Says I�m such a good girl I cry when it�s over �Cause people say I�m bad Nothing else I know Running away with him Those other people come They bind and gag me I cannot cry out My eyes fill with tears My heart wells with rage They say I�m no good So I lay them out Can�t say those mean things When they got no mouth to open They put me away, out of sight The humiliation follows me in silence Plan to fight the system fails An innocent falls victim They say I�m a danger They hide me away And so here are the eyes They watch and they leer And I will never escape Labeled as white trash Here I will die�

She Can Write!

• Dating Officer Dad: A play depicting a police officer's relationship with his teenage daughter.
• It's a Small Ring: A humorous song about The Fellowship of the Ring, written when I had way too much time on my hands.
• Beginning work on a modern tragedy: A young black Texan is convicted of a murder he did not commit, and is sentenced to death. Only after his sentence is commuted do they discover the use of DNA testing, and discover he did not commit the crime.

The Sword of the Flame

Chapter Two

Taylor lay in his room in the Tourmahn palace, the events of the day spiraling through his head. Everything had happened so quickly, he hadn�t had the time to really process it all. He had just sort of gone with the flow of things. He didn�t believe for one minute that he was this planet�s Chosen One. It�s laughable. Me, Taylor Sky, the saviour of an entire race? It�s not even possible! He pinched himself for what must be the thousandth time, his arm mottled and red, where he�d pinched himself before, just to be sure he wasn�t just dreaming.

He rolled off the giant bed he�d been laying on. Danella told him it was the classic pattern from two generations before. It was a wide, circular affair, draped in a royal blue coverlet, and stacked high with many squashy silver pillows. Around the bed covers were hung massive drapes of periwinkle blue. A silver canopy hung over all.

He wandered out of his chamber in search of something to do. Even as a child, he hated being idle. He had to have some project to do or book to read; otherwise, he�d go crazy. But here, he didn�t even have his books.

He traveled down the hallway, really more than a hall, for it stretched nearly sixty feet above him, and was brightly lit by glowing silver balls. Danella had told him that the balls were called liotas, or silver-glows. They were conjured up by magic spells of a very rudimentary sort. The entire race were magical beings, endowed from birth with what Danella called �True Magic,� which no one had to learn. The magic seemed conducted by thought. If Taylor hadn�t been so confused with all the events of the past day, it all would have been fascinating.

He continued to walk down the hall like a tourist, so he wasn�t really paying attention to where he was going. He collided with a Tiernon woman who was walking in the opposite direction, carrying a giant armload of various blue garments. The clothing flew up in the air, and the woman was knocked to the floor. To add to her humiliation, what looked to Taylor suspiciously like a petticoat landed on her long free flowing toffee colored hair.

�Sae tour nal de kwa!� the young woman cried as she yanked the garment from her head. �Ten karn keemah doh?�

�Huh?� Whatever spell Danella had cast upon him to help him understand Tiernon had obviously worn off.

�De kwa!� she snapped, and attempted to stand. She tripped on an overskirt, and sat down hard. Taylor stretched out a hand to help her, but she roughly pushed his hand away, and stumbled to her feet. She shoved a dainty, pale blue hand through her hair, dragging it off her face. She gave him a frustrated look before scooping up her load of clothing. Taylor bent to help her. �Et surama dah tourmahna, doh?� she asked.

�Uh, I don�t speak Tiernon� at least not anymore.� Taylor took her hand, and folded down all her fingers but her fore and middle fingers, and placed the tips of them on the palm of his hand. �Do you understand me?� he asked softly.

�Yes, but�where� where did you learn that?�

Taylor shrugged. �Dan�I mean, the praetina�showed me how it works.� The girl�s eyes widened with amazement.

�You have spoken with the praetina?� She grasped his hand, and kissed it, then swept a low curtsy.

�Um�� Taylor scratched his head, starting to think he�d appeared on a world full of crazies. �What was that for?�

�Because you must be the Kiransa.� At his confused look, she stood. �Our praetina made a vow that she would not speak aloud with another Tourmahn mortal until the Chosen One had been found.�

Taylor�s lips pursed in mild exasperation. �And has she spoken to another Tourmahn?� Then he remembered. �Oh, right, the guards,� he muttered to himself. He shoved his hands into his pockets, the grayish green issue pajama pants he�d been wearing since yesterday. My kingdom for my uniform. Now that was classy. It consisted of a blue jumpsuit with the HMRA seal embroidered on a patch sewn on the arms. The seal depicted a schooner silhouetted by a brilliant orange and scarlet setting sun.

Taylor shook himself back into reality�or whatever this was. He cleared his throat. �I don�t think I caught your name,� he said sheepishly.

�I did not throw it, sir,� she said with a shy smile. She curtsied again. �I am Dahleekooahl, the chief maid of the House of the Tourmahn Praetor.�

�That�s quite a title.�

�It is. It is quite a responsibility. It is an honor, though, of course,� she added hastily. She shifted the load in her arms, trying to keep from dropping anything.

�Can I help you with any of that?� Taylor asked, trying to take some of the garments out of her arms.

�Dahleekooahl! Se tromen ezat betlahl!�

�Oh!� the pretty woman cried. �I have to go. But good sir, you may call me Dahlee from now on, if you please to.� She curtsied one final time. �D�men, Kiransa!� She fled with her load. He sighed wistfully as she hurried down the hall, not even realizing that the spell Danella had showed him kept wearing off. Dahlee was the prettiest girl he had seen in a long time. Even from back on Earth.

�Taylor?� said a soft voice behind him. He almost jumped out of his skin. He spun around and grabbed whoever it was by the shoulders. The person gasped and pushed against him. Taylor realized it was Danella he had in his arms.

�Don�t sneak up on me like that,� he gasped. �You nearly scared me half to death!�

�Forgive me,� she said with a small bow. �You startled me as well, you know. What are you doing out here anyways?�

�I was looking for something to do� Hey, I have a question for you.� Danella lifted her chin ever so slightly. �You know that bit of magic you did, the stuff that made me understand Tiernon� how come it keeps wearing off with everyone but you?�

She smiled. �Because I have True Magic. You, as a human, do not.�

�But I�ve been using Tiernons to do the spell!�

�Yes, but it is through your thought that the spell is being conducted. Naturally, it is not going to last as long as a spell performed by someone with True Magic.� She placed her hands on either side of his head, and closed her eyes. She muttered something under her breath that Taylor couldn�t quite make out, and before too long, he was able to understand the chatter of the people in the castle. Danella took her hands from his head, and grabbed his arm. �Come, let�s find you some clothes.�

Things My Professors Say That Amuse Me

Give you an A? These guys say "Yeah right..."

• "If you don't have something representing a penis when you're talking about Freud, you've messed up."--Dr. Apperson
• "I hate open-mindedness..."--Dr. Gene Muto
• "Before you stone me..."--Dr. Gene Muto
• "Leucine, I'm home!!"--Dr. Palombella, on which codons attach to what amino acids
• "I am Allolactose, son of Lactose. I have come to avenge my father!"--Dr. Palombella on genetics class
• "If you wait a day too long, it's mushy and has the taste of death..."--Dr. Taylor on cantaloupe
• "It's toxic. Don't lick it."--Eric Koger, on colorine
• "A release factor is involved in termination of:
  A. Employees whom the boss doesn't like
  B. DNA replication
  C. Transcription
  D. Translation"
  --Genetics test question as written by Dr. Palombella... for answer, ask rebeccad02
• "It is not Frodo, it is Iodo."--Dr. Lutz, Organic Chemistry
• "It's not how many genes you have, it's how you use them..."--Dr. Palombella (starting to get the feeling we should sit in on some of those genetics classes?)
• "Yes, because naturally STDs are one of those things that always come up in my conversations... I ask them how their day is, what they've been up to, and then how many STDs do they have..."--Eric Koger, on a really stupid question at VTA
• "JMU has beaten Radford in the STD percentage... Ok guys, if you work really, really hard, we can catch up!"--Gene Muto, at VTA
• "MSG really stands for buckets of cats..."--Eric on oriental food at VTA
• "Sword fighting on stage? Yippee!"--Gene, on the "spectacle" of a play
• "You can only compare asses to asses."--Dr. Lutz mispronouncing "acids"
• "The Spanish: They lived, they died, they lost their armada. And they did plays."--Gene Muto on Spanish drama
• "You should always think of the bra, regardless."--Patt Ness, costume technology
• "A blue wall could put off a cool pink."
  "If by pink you mean purple."--Bryan and Eric, Lighting Design class, talking about bouncing light
• "Those shy wallflower girls that don't wear shirts? Right, Bryan."
  "She looks shy and wallflowery to me!"--Eric and Bryan, on good lighting in Lighting Design class

Feel free to submit any insanities your professors have come up with...
IM: ShrdsofNarsil or PDGroupie10 4

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Quotable Quotes

"Logic dictates..."

Featured Quote:

"If I went around claimin' I was emperor just because some moistened bint lunged a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"--Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

• "Live long and prosper." ---Mr. Spock, Star Trek: The Original Series
• "You can't find peace by avoiding life."--Virginia Woolf, The Hours
• "If you collect all those tomorrows, all you're going to end up with are a lot of empty yesterdays." ---Harold Hill, The Music Man
• "Oh no, I'm gonna die in my jammies!" ---Bart Simpson
• "I'm perfectly safe... murder is illegal in this state..." ---Bart Simpson
• "Does the phrase 'go suck a lemon' hold any meaning for you?" ---Raphael, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
• "Be excellent to each other...." ---Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
• "Go with God, Crispy." ---Maggie Smith, Sister Act II
• "You can't kneel down in the highway and live to tell about it." ---Morgan Freeman, Bruce Almighty
• "Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel." ---Jonah Jamerson, Spider-Man
• "Chewie, keep your distance, but don't look like you're trying to keep your distance.... I dunno, fly casual!" ---Han Solo, Return of the Jedi
• "I'm grieving. It's a process." ---Billy Crystal, Analyze That
• "If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it."---Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
• "But why is the rum gone?"---Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "It must've been terrible for you, Jack. Must've been terrible! Well it bloody well is now!!"---Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "Yeah, cuz that's how I want to remember our wedding... 'Oh look honey, there's your father eating cake, and there's my brother, and oh look honey, there's the man that fell to his death from the seventh story window!'"---Lisa Kudrow, Analyze This
• "You will spend the duration of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the term 'silent as the grave.' Do I make myself clear?"
  "Inescapeably."--Commodore Norrington, Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out!"
  "I said no lies!"
  "I think 'e was tellin' the truth."
  "If 'e was tellin' the truth, 'e wouldn' 'ave told us!"
  "Unless he told you the truth knowing you wouldn't believe him even if he told it to you."--Jack Sparrow and Naval Officers, POTC
• "You will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!"--Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means no."--Captain Barbossa, POTC
• "No one. He?s no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though. Eunuch."--Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around!"--Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really except for Elizabeth who is, in fact, a woman."--Jack Sparrow, POTC
• "The king's stinking son fired me! And thank you for bringing up such a painful memory. While you're at it, why don't you just give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?! We're closed!"--Miracle Max, The Princess Bride
• "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."
  "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die."--Inigo Montoya and Wesley, The Princess Bride
• "You know I love watching you work, but I have my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wife to murder, and Gildor to frame for it. I'm swamped."--Prince Humperdink, The Princess Bride
• "This man's only mostly dead. There's either mostly dead or all dead. Mostly dead means slightly alive. That I can work with. When they're all dead, there's only one thing you can do."
  "What's that?"
  "Go through their pockets and look for loose change."--Miracle Max and Fezzik, The Princess Bride
• "Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it for a while."--Wesley, The Princess Bride
• "What about the ROUSes?"
  "Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't believe they exist."--Buttercup and Wesley, speaking too soon... The Princess Bride
• "I love you. Say something."
  "You picked a great time to tell me."--B'Elanna Torres and Tom Paris, as they are adrift in space and running out of oxygen, Day of Honor
• "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return."--Christian, Moulin Rouge
• "You're going to be bad for business. I can tell."--Satine, Moulin Rouge
• "But why would the courtesan pick the penniless scitar player over the wealthy maharajah?"
  "Because she doesn't love you!"--The Duke and Christian, Moulin Rouge
• "The world moves for love. It kneels before it in awe."--Edward Walker, The Village
• "Yes, I have risked! I hope I am always able to risk everything for the just and right cause!"--Edward Walker, The Village
• "Sometimes we don't do things we want to do, so others won't know we want to do them."~Ivy to Lucius, The Village
• "I'm hysterical! I'm wet! I'm wet and I'm hysterical!" *Max hits Leo* "I'm in pain! I'm in pain, and I'm wet! And I'm still hysterical!"--Leo Bloom, The Producers
• "How is it that you are brave when all the rest of us shake in our boots?"
  "I do not think about what will happen, only what needs to be done."--Ivy and Lucius, The Village
• "Roger De Bris presents history!"--Carmen Ghia, The Producers
• "Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay!"--Roger Du Bris, The Producers
• "Oedopis won't bomb..."
  "If he winds up with mom..."
  "Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay..."--Roger De Bris and Carmen Ghia, The Producers
• "You... you know what's gonna happen to you? I'm gonna march you over to the zoo and feed you the yak! As soon as I finish this drink..."--Mag Wildwood, Breakfast at Tiffany's
• "It's useful being top banana in the shock department."--Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany's
• "Let the others of my sex tie the knot around their necks..."--Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady
• "Karen, there are a lot of people in this world who've had bad trouble in their lives. We're three of those people. We could sit around the rest of our lives and exist on that trouble, until in the end we had nothing else and we'd want nothing else. That's something I'm not coming to and I'm not going to let you come to."--Cardin, The Children's Hour
• "There's no virtue, only what people does. Some folks do good things, some folks not so good things. And that's just how it is."--Grapes of Wrath
• "Captain Burdell, if you don't clear this radio, the only yellow rose you'll be seeing is the one I shove up your afterburner!"--Quantum Leap
• "You've heard of theatre in the round? You're looking at the only man at the only man to do theatre in the square... NOBODY had a good seat!"--Max Bialystock, The Producers
• "Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics."--Author Unknown
• "Screw Maximillian!"
  "I do."
  "So do I."--Brian Roberts and Sally Bowles, Cabaret
• "What is the meaning of life?"
  "Hmmm... CHEESE!"--Kim Possible
• "The real heat of passion long continued and withering up the soul of a man is the craving for identity with the woman he loves."--The Good Soldier
• "We are all so afraid, we are all so alone, we all so need from the outside the assurance of our own worthiness to exist."--The Good Soldier
• "What are you doing?? Dead people aren't supposed to get up and walk away!"
  "They do if they have to pee."--Angelica and Dil, Rugrats: All Grown Up
• "No one expects the Spanish Iquisition!"--Monty Python
• "I'm not likely to grow much taller, except maybe sideways..."--Pippin, Return of the King
• "If I went around claimin' I was emperor just because some moistened bint lunged a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"--Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
• "Good words: that's where ideas begin."--David Marcus, Star Trek: Wrath of Khan

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Squirrelish Links

So these are beavers... whatever.

Brenda Starr
Foamy Cartoons
Lord of the Rings
Tolkien Movies
The Village
MuggleNet

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