1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup nuts
1 or 2 quarts of aged whiskey
Before you start, sample the whiskey to check for quality. Good,
ain't it?
Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.
Check the whiskey again as it must be just right. To be sure the
whiskey is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup into a glass
and drink it as fast as you can.
Repeat.
With an eclectic mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat the hell out of it again.
Meanwhile, at this parsnicular point in time, wake sure that the
whixey hasn't gone bad while you weren't lookin'. Open second
quart if nestessary.
Add 2 large leggs, 2 cups fried druit an beat til high. If druit
gets shtuck in peaters, just pry the monsters loosh with a
drewscriver.
Example the whikstey again, shecking confistancy, then shitf 2
cups of salt or destergent or whatever, like anyone gives a
schit.
Chample the whitchey shum more.
Shitf in shum lemon zhoosh. Fold in chopped sputter and shrained
nuts. Add 100 babblespoons of brown booger or whushever's
closhest and mix well.
Greash ubben and turn the cakey pan to 350 decrees. Now pour the
whole mesh into the washin' machine and set on sinsh shycle.
Check dat whixney wunsh more and pash out.
is all about stupid blondes. Later on in the night this blonde
lady stands up,in the back, and she says, "Excuse me, but
growing up I had to deal with a lot of jokes directed at me just
because I had blonde hair, it did't make it easy or me to
complete school, and I find your act insulting and
innapropriate!" so the man replies, "Sorry lady were just doing
it for a few laughs..." she interupts him "YOU STAY OUT OF THIS
I'M TALKING TO THE LITTLE GUY ON YOUR LAP!!!!"
