The doctor asked what happened. She said "I was ironing and the
phone rang and I picked up the iron by mistake. "What happened
to the other ear?" the doctor asked. "They called back."
another blonde.
"Slow night, huh?" says the first blonde.
"Yeah," says the second blonde. "So, where are you from?"
"I'm from New York," says the first blonde. "Really?" says the
second blonde. "So am I! Here, let me buy you a drink!"
"Thanks!" says the first blonde. "So, where did you grow
up?" "Upper West Side," says the second blonde. "Central Park
West, near 74th." "My God!" says the first blonde. "That's
amazing! That's my old neighborhood!
What school did you go to?" "All private schools," says the
second blonde. "I graduated from Sacred Heart High in '94."
"I can't believe this!" says the first blonde. "I graduated from
Sacred Heart in '94 too!" "No way!" says the second blonde,
astonished. "That's incredible!"
About this time, one of the bar's regulars comes in, sits down,
and greets the bartender. "Hiya, Sam. Anything going on
tonight?" "Not much," says the bartender. "Except that the
Murphy twins are drunk again."
told my wife that I would be home by midnight ... promise! Well,
the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At
around 3 A.M., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I
got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up, and
cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so
I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having
a quick, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible
conflict. Next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and
I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all.
Whew! Got away with that one! She then told me that we needed a
new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why she said, "Well, it
cuckooed 3 times,then said 'oh fuck,' cuckooed 4 more times,
cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed
twice more, and then farted.
