| 16. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18. 17. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your Mom. 18. How do you know when you're really ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. 19. How do you know when you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends." 20. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. 21. What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts? Her navel. 22. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A Bingo Machine. 23. Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex too. 24. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" 25. What three two-letter words mean small? "Is It In?" 26. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. 27. If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in, what do you have? Divorce proceedings most likely. 28. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Tasmania? Everyone has the same DNA. 29. Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. 30. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. 31. What does it mean when the flag at a US Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring. 32. What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men miss them all. 33. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Tits don't have eyes 35. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." 36. What do you call a New Zealand farmer with a sheep under each arm? A Pimp. 37. What's the difference between a Japanese zoo, and an Australian zoo? A Japanese zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe. 38. What's the Indonesian National Anthem? Row row, row your boat ashore. |
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| Phrases in Japanese That's not right...................................................................Sum Ting Wong Are you harbouring a fugitive?........................................Hu Yu Hai Ding See me asp........................................................................Kum Hia Nao Stupid man.........................................................................Dum Gai Small horse........................................................................Tai Ni Po Ni Did you go to the beach?.................................................Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table............................................Ai Bang Mai Ni I think you need a face lift.................................................Chin Tu Lo It's very dark in here...........................................................Wai So Dim I thought you were on a diet.............................................Wai Yu Mun Chin This is a tow away zone....................................................No Pah King Our meeting is scheduled for next week.......................Wai Yu Kum Nao Staying out of sight.............................................................Lei Ying Lo He's cleaning his automobile..........................................Wa Shing Ka Your body odour is offensive............................................Yu Stin Kin Pu Great......................................................................................Fu Kin Su Pah |
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| A senior citizen was driving down the M4 motorway, when his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife urgently warning him, "Gregory, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on the M4. Please be careful!" "Hell" said gregory, "It's not one car, there's hundreds of them!" |
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| I am! |