49ers ROCK!
AC MILAN ROCKS!!

Shevchenko is still god!!

In 1984 Mattel released an action figure of Michael Jackson; It's made of plastic.... JUST LIKE HIM!!! - Entertainment Weekly

"I'll cry you a river, if you promise to drown in it"

"Fuck Mickey Mouse, Fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick, then break it off and beat him with the rest of it" - George Carlin

"Hi Tucker, I'm Todd"
"Hey Todd, I'm Tucker"
"Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks" - George Carlin

"You can prick your finger, just don't finger your prick" - George Carlin

"SHIT happens to good people."
"BULLSHIT, shit happens to all people!"

REMEMBER: I love George Carlin, he is the shit

"Fuck the Fucking Fuckers!"
Fuck is such a nice and versatile word, ain't it?

REMEMBER: YES, I like to say pece with no "A"

�I get more resistance from jacking off" - Will V.

"Yeah, my right one is split in half and now my left one is the only one that gets really big." - Will V.

Will: "That's what I thought!"
Tanzi: "Fine, you can resume your position... Okay, that just sounded wrong."

Tanzi: I'm going to slap you in the face.
Will: Yeah? Well I'm going to stab you in the throat!

"Okay, I'll ease it in her... No wait, I mean ON her!" - Will V.

"20 bucks says that after two weeks I could even turn YOU gay (to Will)...no wait, you're too straight... I bet after two weeks I could turn Lawson gay" - Tanzi (sorry Mark :-P)

"Mine doesn't have that much stability" - Tanzi

"Someone once said that if life gives you oranges you sit down and eat your oranges, I say, fuck you, if life gives you oranges you bitch and nag until you get some fucking peaches!" - Tanzi

You know you have reached an all time low when you are at a LAN party jamming to the song "Pimp Juice"

No more "DOOOOOOM!" for Carl!

REMEMBER: The nine kilo cock with coconuts

I love my ORANGE brick very very much

Nada mas Captain Commando for you!

RedAlienZero (10:48:15 PM): yeah, i dont think anything is happening this weekend as far as the coming over business
JCP Scot (10:48:28 PM): y?
RedAlienZero (10:48:33 PM): mom
RedAlienZero (10:48:38 PM): bitch bitch bitch
RedAlienZero (10:48:57 PM): maybe next weekend
JCP Scot (10:49:00 PM): what did you do?
JCP Scot (10:49:06 PM): or what did she say you did?
RedAlienZero (10:49:14 PM): blah blah blah
RedAlienZero (10:49:22 PM): play games too much, not enough study
RedAlienZero (10:49:25 PM): blah blah blah
RedAlienZero (10:49:43 PM): shut up bitch!
RedAlienZero (10:49:48 PM): take that
RedAlienZero (10:49:56 PM): im going to tell your father
RedAlienZero (10:49:58 PM): you do that
RedAlienZero (10:50:00 PM): i will
RedAlienZero (10:50:01 PM): good
RedAlienZero (10:50:03 PM): good
RedAlienZero (10:50:04 PM): fuck you
RedAlienZero (10:50:06 PM): no fuck you
RedAlienZero (10:50:07 PM): fuck you
RedAlienZero (10:50:09 PM): eat shit
RedAlienZero (10:50:11 PM): go to hell
RedAlienZero (10:50:13 PM): prick
RedAlienZero (10:50:14 PM): whore
RedAlienZero (10:50:18 PM): blah blah blah
JCP Scot (10:50:27 PM): you are one retarded son of a bitch
RedAlienZero (10:50:34 PM): son of a bitch is right
JCP Scot (10:50:45 PM): i don't really feel much sympathy for you to tell you the truth
JCP Scot (10:50:47 PM): you're just stupid for that
RedAlienZero (10:51:12 PM): aint it the truth?

Hey Nada, BOOF IS MY DAMN WORD!

RedAlienZero (7:22:31 PM): what is the graying of America?
RedAlienZero (7:22:43 PM): people over the age of 55 are becoming more and more and more
RedAlienZero (7:22:50 PM): (basically people aint dying)
DruidWw (7:22:56 PM): well shit
DruidWw (7:23:02 PM): we should start killin 'em off

�I will rip your head off and fuck your spinal stubb!� - Tanzi

RedAlienZero (9:31:34 PM): have you finished your english yet?
DruidWw (9:31:45 PM): kinda-sorta
RedAlienZero (9:31:51 PM): yerrr for you
RedAlienZero (9:32:09 PM): i dont know why the hell they make us even go to school tomorrow
RedAlienZero (9:32:16 PM): we never get anything accomplished anyway
DruidWw (9:32:20 PM): YEAH
DruidWw (9:32:23 PM): FUCK 'EM
DruidWw (9:32:27 PM): LETS NOT GO
RedAlienZero (9:33:13 PM): hehe
RedAlienZero (9:33:15 PM): i wish
DruidWw (9:33:24 PM): JUNIOR SKIP DAY!!!
RedAlienZero (9:33:42 PM): yerrr
RedAlienZero (9:33:47 PM): you mean senior skip day
RedAlienZero (9:33:52 PM): for juniors
DruidWw (9:34:13 PM): and by the power of reason, JUNIOR SKIP DAY!!!
RedAlienZero (9:34:32 PM): reason, what the hell is that?
DruidWw (9:34:56 PM): it's what you don't have
DruidWw (9:35:01 PM): sorry

Remember, half the people in the world are below average

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience"

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!" - Yogi Berra

"And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy... I'd have nothing to play with." - Rodney Dangerfield

"One day as I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy ... Hey buddy ... why are you doing that for? He said ... Because you came home early." - Rodney Dangerfield

"When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

"Let's go buttfuck some dwarves!" - Tanzi and Lawson in Orlando

*Tanzi looks down* "Stupid penis!" - Tanzi and Lawson in Orlando

In reference to SEX and WITHDRAWAL (pulling out):
Ms. Young: �Aside from the fact that it doesn�t work, talk about a mood breaker!"
Sean Harvey: "Yeah Johnny, the pre-cum." (IN THEOLOGY CLASS!)

�Elephants do poop, and I imagine a lot!� - Ms. Young

�Babies Masturbate! All the time!� - Ms. Young

"I've been niggerfied" - Mike Haggerty

Johnny Martinez: When does masturbation become a problem?
Ms. Young: If you are counting down the seconds for class to end so you can go to the bathroom and relieve yourself, I'd say we have a problem.

"Mr. Donahue doesn't know shit... (pause) about this" - Mrs. Ochs

"When did the horse shit last?" - Mrs. Ochs

Tanzi: Is she hot?
Glenn: NO! Not at all.
Tanzi: Would I fuck her?
Glenn: ...Yeah, you probably would

"We can't have anybody watching when you climb the I-beam, cuz if you fall and hurt yourself i have to have to be able to run away" - TJ Martinez SJ

"I realize that you're life is at stake Chris, but so is my reputation, and we both know which is more important. (pause) Well Chris, I'm just telling you how it is, I'm not going to sugar-coat life for you" - TJ Martinez SJ

Frigo: Are you two fighting?
Thompson: No, He was just trying to get my attention
Frigo: You expect me to believe that?
Thompson: Okay FINE! He was beating me up!
Frigo: That's more like it!

"God made enough blood to run only one dick!" - Mike

We should go tell a priest "This blows the big one" (in reference to the church) - Ms. Young

"No turns on red? Does that include left turns?" - Tanzi

"Nigel's charming, all British men are, the British are a lovely people, not physically of course, but on the inside." - Lois Griffin (she speaks the truth... Sorry Scott)

"Kevin Stewart? Mr. Stewart; are you a dumbass?" - Substitute teacher

"Why don't you pull the cock out of your mouth and start doing some real work?" - Mike

"I hate old people; like this guy, he's not old, but I hate him because he's black" - Mike

RedAlienZero (4:13:35 PM): I'm just joshin dude
DER2528 (4:13:41 PM): you'd better be Christ
(I am Root, I am)

Why does Snoop Dog always carry an umbrella with him? (pause) FO DRIZZLE!!!

"I hate you and your suburban" - Will

Fran: *singing* lala lalal alala!!!
Mike: Hey Fran, who sings this song?
Fran: Linkin Park
Mike: Good, let's keep it that way and SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"I hope to god so, cuz if you didn't do what I said to do I would mop the floor with your scrotum and then make you lick it up so that you had chode resin all over your lips!... (pause) And that Fran, is what you sound like every time you open your mouth." - Charlie
(ain't it the truth)

"My asshole has hair." - Mike

*Staring at a picture on the cover of a magazine of a poor bloody and battered face*, Mike yells: "JESUS CHRIST!!"... Little did he know that the man on the cover of the magazine was in fact Jesus Christ.

"Nigger-ian" - Mike (instead of Nigerian)

Hey Will, how's your Hummer limo doing? (Vroom Vroom)

RedAlienZero (9:46:08 PM): check this sentence out
RedAlienZero (9:46:52 PM): "no longer did they have to live in the shadows of men, but rather cast shadows of their own."
RedAlienZero (9:47:13 PM): i found that sweet
IrishBrutha 6 (9:47:17 PM): omg
IrishBrutha 6 (9:47:19 PM): +10
IrishBrutha 6 (9:47:42 PM): "wait did i give mike a 75?...better make it a 65"
RedAlienZero (9:47:54 PM): hahaha
IrishBrutha 6 (9:47:59 PM): "pay attention to fran's writing more"
IrishBrutha 6 (9:48:03 PM): at the top
RedAlienZero (9:48:12 PM): that's too funny
IrishBrutha 6 (9:48:35 PM): OH im going to get it back and its going to have 75 at the top with a big X through it with 65 underneath
IrishBrutha 6 (9:48:51 PM): then a note saying "YOU GIVE ME SHIT AND ILL GIVE YOU SHIT"
IrishBrutha 6 (9:49:10 PM): shit for a paper = shit for a grade
RedAlienZero (9:50:06 PM): that's so mean
RedAlienZero (9:50:13 PM): but she WOULD do something like that
RedAlienZero (9:50:15 PM): evil bitch
IrishBrutha 6 (9:50:17 PM): yes she would
IrishBrutha 6 (9:50:22 PM): shes a slut and a half
RedAlienZero (9:50:22 PM): god damn her
IrishBrutha 6 (9:50:32 PM): and on my revision:
IrishBrutha 6 (9:50:59 PM): "GIVE ME SHIT FOR GRADE AND ILL GIVE YOUR DAUGHTER A POPPED CHERRY"
RedAlienZero (9:51:40 PM): twice
RedAlienZero (9:51:42 PM): hahahaha
RedAlienZero (9:52:37 PM): *Mike looks down at grade... 68!?!?!" ... "Mrs. Row if you dont give me a 103 im going to impregnate your daughter so fucking fast I'll skip a generation!"
IrishBrutha 6 (9:53:25 PM): haha
RedAlienZero (9:53:38 PM): "OH MY GOD!!! Mr. Haggerty... I would've never expected that from you!!!" *zip* "Ill fucking do it, i swear to god himself that if you dont fucking take out your pen and change the grade ill fucking stab it through your eyes and skull fuck you... naked"
IrishBrutha 6 (9:53:57 PM): hahaha
IrishBrutha 6 (9:53:58 PM): hahahahhaa
(I ended up doing 2 whole points better than Mike, which wasn't saying much)

DruidWw (7:10:56 PM): and bought myself a new razor
RedAlienZero (7:11:04 PM): excuse me?
RedAlienZero (7:11:13 PM): wtf
DruidWw (7:11:20 PM): to shave my face you idiot

To do list: End Will

Wonder twin powers activate!

italipop (7:12:45 PM): hey u ever just dont know wat to do and then u suddenly realize that u wouldnt mind to be kissing and cuddling at that moment?
RedAlienZero (7:14:44 PM): fuck yeah!
italipop (7:14:46 PM): well anyway i was just gona say that now's NOT that moment...
(ouch, on the inside)

"Do I wanna log off!?!?! Did I press the button you fucking piece of shit?!?!" - Charlie

"Deduce" - Will (yes Will, the double deuce)

Mrs. Bean: What are we looking for?
Tanzi: Mu? (Average of whole population)
Mrs. Bean: NO!!! THE AVERAGE OF THE WHOLE POPULATION!
Tanzi (to Will): Isn't that what I just said?
Will: Yeah, but you don't do your homework
Tanzi: Good point. *slams head on desk*

RedAlienZero (5:37:56 PM): life grabbed me by the horns and kicked my ass

Hayabusa has a massive battle paddle! - Will
(so do you Will, so do you)

italipop (10:54:09 PM): then ill just hafta treat you how u deserve to be treated too....
RedAlienZero (10:54:25 PM): like shit?
italipop (10:54:42 PM): like veryyyy good shit

Renehan: Two pi, three pi, four pi, etc.
Tanzi: A GILLION PI!
Duncan: Mmmmm..... Pie

italipop (7:05:33 PM): i do my best when im with you
RedAlienZero (7:08:37 PM): i do my best when im with myself
RedAlienZero (7:08:40 PM): treat myself right

"go home and practice sticking yourself with needles in your kitchen" - TJ Martinez SJ

"GI JEW!" - Gamer Tag on Call of Duty

Tanzi: "I need to take a piss!"
Root: "I need to take a cum!"
(After having watched Taking Lives an awesome movie with Angelina Jolie titties!)

Angelina Jolie: "FUCK YOU!"
Ethan Hawke: "Fuck you? (pause) I DID FUCK YOU!"

Ethan Hawke: "Cumming inside of you was the single best thing I've ever done"

Rachael's mom: "where are you going to college?"
Tanzi: "UTD"
Rachael's mom: "Good for you, is that the catholic one?"
Tanzi: "no"
Rachael's mom: "OH. (pause) Still... (pause) good for you."

kronylooter3 (9:48:37 PM): ima gonna get goin soon i gotta smoke a square and get to sleep

REMEMBER: I'm a relativist nihilist dadaist existentialist postmodern atheist (apparently)

Tanzi: "There's no drive anymore"
Glenn: "Yeah"
Tanzi: "What you gonna do?"
(pause)
Glenn: "Make her wear a funny clown suit"

"I might not act like a Christian, but at least I know it" - Frigo (theology teacher)

kronylooter3 (9:08:58 PM): Wisconsin is going to take over the world
kronylooter3 (9:09:14 PM): and i will rule all
kronylooter3 (9:09:19 PM): muahahahaha
RedAlienZero (9:09:44 PM): naked

Tanzi: Would you bang her?
Root: No man, she's not worth the calories.

(looking at Limited Too)
�Look at these mini-skirts! They are already training 10 year olds to be little hoes.� - Karie

�*jumps for joy and falls of balcony and is in a bloody heap at the bottom*.... a bloody heap of happiness� - Tanzi

(Talking about people that think that they are better than everyone else)
Sarah: I think Katie is like that sometimes
Will: Nah. (pause) Katie just thinks that she's normal

�I think black people should be treated equally, just not equally with us.� - Mike

RedAlienZero (5:43:31 PM): when i graduate... im gonna gang bang her... by myself
IrishLeprchan (5:43:40 PM): me too
RedAlienZero (5:43:46 PM): WOOO!
RedAlienZero (5:43:57 PM): we can gang bang her together!
RedAlienZero (5:44:00 PM): seperately
IrishLeprchan (5:44:03 PM): haha

Taylor: "I can make 49 equal to zero!"
Wendell: "I can make 69 equal to the two of us."

(Bell Rings)
"You were right" (pause) you are a loser." - Will

Mom: "You should be more discrete with what you do with your girlfriend"
Dad: (jumping in the room) "Yeah, but you're still gay!"

RedAlienZero (9:38:42 PM): *splooge!*
RedAlienZero (9:38:43 PM): woops
DER2528 (9:39:16 PM): ...
DER2528 (9:39:36 PM): dude, my fucking computer screen, you should be more cautious with that thing
RedAlienZero (9:40:01 PM): sorry
DER2528 (9:40:23 PM): its ok, it'll just take me a few mins to lick it off

Bean: Not much fun doing stat without me, huh?
Tanzi: No� it's a lot of fun NOT doing stat without you.

"I guess you'll find out when your dad shits a brick and beats you with it." - Will

Wendell: What do we get as bonus?
Renehan: MM's!
Wendell: Oh no! I can go buy MM's, I can't buy bonus points... (pause) well... we need to have a little chat about that.

Kevin: Porn?
Tanzi: Yes, your mother's a whore!
Kevin: YES!

(Talking about badass condoms) (Don't ask why)
"Turbo charge your wife!" -Tanzi

"Oh I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to bone Mrs. Row's daughter'S MOM?" -Mike
(yes I did)

Taylor Duncan: "Wait, today is the last day we turn something in which means we can just sit and talk and fuck her. (pause) Wait a second"
Tanzi: "Wouldn't that be a treat?"

"Chugging the cat isn't really like chugging a cat if it's shaved.. It's more like...
(pause)
Like chugging a toad or something." -Tanzi

"Rear view is always 20/20" -Tanzi
(later found out it was "hindsight")

DER2528 (8:34:21 PM): naked hopefully, singing in the shower with your moms toad
RedAlienZero (8:34:27 PM): good
RedAlienZero (8:34:29 PM): *goo

RedAlienZero (8:39:39 PM): from cat to toad, now that's a cuter cooter

DER2528 (8:43:36 PM): without your mother
RedAlienZero (8:43:38 PM): your mother puffs my magic dragon

RedAlienZero (8:53:43 PM): fuck her and not being a whore

Old Lady: "Are you both the same kind?"
Mike: "Yes, we're both human beings!" (leave it to Mike to bash the old people)

"There's a difference between a black man and a nigger... and I hate niggers... but I can say that because Chris Rock said it and he's black, so it's okay" - Mike (later believed to be Chris Tucker, not Chris Rock, a black man either way)

Man: When are we going to sleep together again?
Woman: We never sleep. We fuck. - Man on Fire

REMEMBER: On pre-cal papers I would put: "Featuring TD" Cuz Taylor did all the work

REMEMBER: When I made "the shocker" out of a fork and Thompson broke it... what an asshole

While working on Precal, Duncan places other homework on his lap as to not get it taken away.
"If she takes it away you can accuse her of looking at your crotch, How did you know I had a paper in my lap if you weren't looking at my crotch?" - Tanzi

REMEMBER: SQUEEBIES!

(after announcements) "... and Jesus" (this one's for Duncan)

"Duck Fucker" - Root

"What the deuce?!" - Stewie

RedAlienZero (1:12:59 AM): you have no penis
RedAlienZero (1:13:02 AM): just a side thought
DER2528 (1:13:02 AM): so?

Riddick has ADD
"Fucus Riddick Fucus!"

Jack (aka Keera): "I'll see you later Riddick"
Riddick: "I AM the monster!"
Jack (aka Keera): "???? What the fuck did that have anything to do with anything?"
Riddick: "What?"

Jamie Foxx: "You killed him!"
Tom Cruise: "No, I shot him, the bullet and the fall killed him."

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A slut sleeps with everyone.
A bitch sleeps with everyone but you. - Screwie Stewie

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is tickling a girl's cunt with a chicken feather.
Perverted is tickling a girl's cunt with the entire chicken. - Screwie Stewie

�You know the Nazi's had flair, that they made the Jews wear.� - Office Space

�Does thinking you're the last sane man on the planet make you crazy?�

"Shutup, come here shutup, here boy!" - Andre (thinking shutup was the name of a dog)

REMEMBER: Andre is the pimp

REMEMBER: The �Double Nighter�

REMEMBER: 2 in 3 days, not bad, not bad at all

"From cut to toad, and now that's and cuuter coooter" - Andre

"Sexy man, Sexy man, bee'in sexy wherever he can" - Andre

"I am a pimp and you are my beetch!" - Andre

"Peempeen!" - Andre

"Foh Sheezel" - My cousin while making a funny motion with her arms

REMEMBER: LemonSoda and Jack... DAMN!

"Exorcize him!" � Tanzi

"Brand Bitch" - Mike
(I think he meant label whore)

REMEMBER: The dude in Anacondas is a mix between Jon Claude Van Dam, The Rock, and Steven Segal

DER2528 (3:34:00 PM): snoochie boofies
RedAlienZero (3:34:12 PM): indeed
RedAlienZero (3:34:15 PM): oh my god
RedAlienZero (3:34:19 PM): we switched roles
RedAlienZero (3:34:21 PM): AH!
RedAlienZero (3:34:35 PM): i am officially scared now

Guard: My those pants are mighty baggy, you arent trying to steal anything are you?
Billy Bob Thornton: You wanna know what I have in these pants? I got something in here that could cripple your sister! " Badder Santa

"Damn, that dog has a nice tree!" - Root

REMEMBER: "CHA-POW!!!" *while doing 'archery-like' arm motions* (after Anacondas)

"Better a girl with a big ass than a big ass girl" - Tanzi

DER2528 (1:27:32 AM): dude, everyone here is so nice
RedAlienZero (1:27:38 AM): that's great
RedAlienZero (1:27:50 AM): good for you, maybe you'll find someone nice enough to take your virginity off your hands

Tanzi: What is that?
Karolin: Your cock!
Tanzi: Where the hell did that come from?
Karolin: My mouth!

A person that has influenced you greatly:
�Jesus, because he did it for the chicks!� - Tim

�I am Geenie of de Butthole!� - Andre (trying to say Genie of the Bottle)

�I will take your ass and the ass of your freeind� - Andre

�Don�t touch my wenis!� - Tanzi (DAMN YOU JACKIE)

�Marriage is an unnecessary chaotic torture of old religions and dead eras� - Jackie

�POOF!� - Jackie

�Fuck me, Feed me, Shut the fuck up!� - Chris Rock

�They are a ... uh uh uh... a GROUPAFOLKS!� - George Bush 2

�I have aye (a) monkee for you...� �I have aye (a) monkee for dis tree� - Andre

Lana can�t be the mother of Superman�s baby; they don�t hook up in the end.
�She could�ve had a super abortion� - Will

�Get up dead Jackie� -Tanzi

�They could go into double blind folded overtime� - Will

entrithophs (5:01:53 PM): i wanna be just like hitler, im gonna kill all the jews and 1 clown
RedAlienZero (5:02:24 PM): who was the clown?
entrithophs (5:02:30 PM): see? no one cares about the jews
entrithophs (5:02:35 PM): tee hee

"That ball curved about as much as my nut" - Will

Will: Katie?
Tanzi: Yeah, Katie, your ex girlfriend
Will: Yeah� Whore�
(pause)
Will: I take that back� No one would be stupid enough to pay for that.

�Most of these kids couldn't find there own asses with a map!� - Gil Grissom (what a badass)

Tanzi and Jackie sitting at Whataburger alone:
(I give her the �hey baby� sexy look)
Jackie: �I�m prude and you�re taken.�
Tanzi: �touch�

Sumonoria104 (11:35:38 PM): I�m too prude to draw like this

The Chain-sodomizer!
VROOM VROOM (To Quentin White)
Quentin: Shut up Fran! (in his crazy voice)

Tanzi: He�s on the fence� with the fence pole shoved up his fat ass.
Will: Well then, he should feel right at home

meggypoo332 (10:03:07 PM): im sticking my tongue out at u...
RedAlienZero (10:03:38 PM): and im staring at your...
meggypoo332 (10:04:09 PM): at my...?
RedAlienZero (10:04:35 PM): personality

�Cock-juggling thunder cunt� - Hannibal King (Blade Trinity)

�I don�t see you teaching Kara-te� at the local Y� He hates me, doesn�t he?� - Hannibal King (Blade Trinity)

Root: �Are you going to hang out with Duncan tonight?�
Anne Marie: �yeah�
Root: �Well that answers that question�
NO SHIT SHERLOCK! It was an answer to the question� of course it answers it!

�loosy goosy poosy� - Will

�Take it as whatever you want, but it�s still cummin� at ya�� - Tanzi

REMEMBER: Will and Fran�s theory that if girls say maybe to something like that, they really want to do it. It�s a theory, it has to be true!

Will: Is your dad afraid of anything? What could you dress up as, to freak him out?
Tanzi: He�s afraid of heights...
(Pause)
Tanzi: I could dress up as a ladder

"2 Dollar Cookie Whore" - Tanzi

Joseph: Virgin? Something Fran never was!
Tanzi: So my dad fucked my mom THAT hard, huh?
Joseph: Hahaha�. Fran�s gay... Incestuously gay nonetheless

�That�s not a wenis... that�s a cup... you�re an idiot� - Jackie

�Give a man a fish and feed him for a day... Teach a man to fish and he�ll start a Civil Rights movement.� - some guy in history class

�If I have to go upstairs, I�d rather take the elevator than the escalator. Once I took the escalator, I tripped, and I was falling for an hour and a half.� - Demitri

�Skeet skeet on your feet feet� - Tanzi and Root

�How dirty boys get clean� axe shower gel�
Root: �What does that one smell like?�
Tanzi: �Smells like a kilo to me�

Antic, I don�t even know what that means
Root: Sounds like antique
Tanzi: Sounds like a tic� getting butt fucked by an ant

Auto response from RedAlienZero (2:58:12 PM): Im taking a shower, yes, that means Im naked, stop drooling and focus! Be back later BOOF
DruidWw (2:58:12 PM): yeah, focus on your naked body

Pick up lines that didn�t turn out so hot:
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and hit the ugly tree on your way down?
You have a nice ass, are your pants in outer space?
I lost your number, can you run through my mind?
Are you tired? Just wondering cuz I�ve been sleeping on your stomach.

meggypoo332 (6:12:25 PM): dangit i need ur help � come back!
RedAlienZero (6:14:17 PM): you put it in the hole next to the anus

italipop (5:05:08 PM): dont be manipulative with her
italipop (5:05:13 PM): ill stab u for that

"if your bathroom has windows; let me know!" - Ron Jackson Fox 4 meteorologist and my Meteorology teacher

REMEMBER: Bumfuckalo

Jews are like Coca Cola Classic � The original rules with all that guilt
Catholics are like Coke with Lime � The original rules but with a twist of Jesus as the son of god
Protestants are like Coke C2 - Same great faith, half the guilt
Agnostics are like Diet Coke - Horrible faith, Horrible After-faith, no guilt at all
Atheists drink sparkling water

�If life gives you lemons, make lemonade� and find someone who�s life is giving them vodka and have a party!�

RedAlienZero (3:05:13 PM): fucking females...
DruidWw (3:05:19 PM): is fun

RedAlienZero (3:15:31 PM): does GRRR sound like animal sex?
DruidWw (3:15:48 PM): don't you know?
RedAlienZero (3:16:04 PM): im asking your opinion
DruidWw (3:16:12 PM): yeah, sure, why not

�I wouldn�t kick her out of bed unless she wanted to fuck on the floor�

RedAlienZero (4:43:29 PM): fucking women
DruidWw (4:43:46 PM): better than fucking me
RedAlienZero (4:44:13 PM): i don�t know dude... you are one hot s-o-b

cacophobe101 (12:08:59 PM): I just like laying better.
RedAlienZero (12:09:51 PM): you like laying who better?
RedAlienZero (12:09:54 PM): :-D

Tanzi: God, there are only 4 people in the whole theater.
Carl: See� now you know how people give blow jobs in movie theaters... (pause) GO!

REMEMBER: I have RADD � ADD for relationships.

II Asche II (1:53:51 AM): I have persuasive powers.
RedAlienZero (1:54:15 AM): called tatas

�cOOOkie. cOOOkie, cOOOkie� - Anne Marie

�We�ll be there in a bit, but first Lulu has to go put on pants� - Tanzi
(I got hung up on for that one)

Best break up line ever: �It�s not me, it�s you�

When people come up to me and say: �I�m not religious but I�m spiritual�
I reply: �I�m not honest, but you�re interesting!� - Daniel Tosh

cacophobe101 (11:48:35 PM): I'm not in denial.

�If you ever date Doczi� I will spoon you to death.� - Tanzi (holding a spoon in my hand)

�You�re not a graham cracker or a donkey� - Amanda

�You are more entertaining than the movie� - Some old guy outside of the Angelika theater

�He jumps like a kangaroo� - some old lady outside of the Angelika theater

Old Lady: Did you go to dance school?
Tanzi: Yeah, for 8 years (lie)
Old Lady: Well then, you wasted your money...

Tanzi: There was a horrible Katie in my life� like seriously, take a horrible Katie, and think worse� and then worse than that� and mix it with hell� and then make it stupid
Mike: and you get Fran!

�I have herpes� (pause) both kinds� - Mike

�Thumbass� - Tanzi

Tanzi: You hold it, I�ll wrap it
Root: Isn�t that what usually happens?

�Your dad would beat the gay out of you� - Root

"No me digas, yo se, yo se� - Victor

Tanzi: You suck!
Root: What do I suck?
Tanzi: Not much...
(30 second pause)
Tanzi: Or dick...
Root: Well if I sucked your dick it still wouldn�t be much.

�Would you like original recipe or extra chunky?� - Tanzi and Root

�I bloomed your mom!� - Root
�I DEbloomed yours!� - Tanzi

Tanzi: (to Root) Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?
Root: Yes, Actually
Glenn: I�m sorry

�I�m gonna go home and have a 2 hour jam session with my hand� - Root

REMEMBER: Trying to heal a thundy with a phoenix

�I would eat this Polynesian sauce straight out of the culo (ass)� - Root

Funny Songs in Mexican:
Mas duro, mas duro� como Javier y el pene en su culo
Jesse no tiene cojones a el le gusta cojer los cabrones
A los ninos nudos le hace una foto porque tambien Victor es joto
A Daniel le gusta comer la mierda porque todavia no tiene una verga
Stewart hace Manuela todo los dias porque todavia la novia el no tenia

Tanzi: Is it good?
Root: Yeah, good like a burnt Jew

�Bora Bora and surrounding islands sauce� - Tanzi

Tanzi: Fucking Jesus
Root: Is fun
Tanzi: Probably

Tanzi: You know that bitch is hot when you dip it in water and the steam almost burns you
Root: You know that bitch is hot when she wont fuck you

Root: I know how to wrap it!
Tanzi: Too bad you�ll never need to...

Fuggin� Gay (Wednesday 6-29-05)

*girlfriend talks in a horribly manly voice*
Girlfriend: Oh I�m sorry that was just my little voice thing
Boyfriend: Does that come along with a little ball thing?
- Root

�I�d be scared of a giant cock (rooster) too... (pause) If I didn�t have one� - Root

�That tickles (pause) It really itches� - Warcan

�I got a pair of matching wawises� - Root

�Gratis wawis� - Root

�I just went from cherry-wood to oak� - Root

�Wow, that pimp juice really woke me up!� - Tanzi

�Mecos en tu agua� - Tanzi

Root: My boxers are being gay
Tanzi: That's what happens when they are around a gay dick all day
TANZI 1 Root 0
Root: That could be easily substituted with: "to around you all day"
Tanzi 0 ROOT 1
BURN!

DruidWw (7:04:42 PM): vvf
RedAlienZero (7:04:46 PM): hahaha
RedAlienZero (7:04:50 PM): vwm
RedAlienZero (7:04:52 PM): vwm
RedAlienZero (7:04:53 PM): vwm
DruidWw (7:04:57 PM): vvy vvy

Screwy Stewie: I knew a Root... In Albuquerque
Tanzi: Was he cool?
Screwy Stewie: SHE... was an idiot

Tanzi: Better than a dick in the face
Root: What isn't?
Tanzi: A dick in the ass

"No mames" - Tanzi

Tanzi: Fucking unreliable condoms
Caruzzo: Made in America, what do you expect?
Tanzi: Italian ones aren't much better... look at me
Caruzzo: Shit, Mexican ones are made to break... 13 or 14 kids, fuck that.

Root: "Sheehat!"
Tanzi: "She hot? Or Sheeat?"
Root: "Sheeat she hot!"

"You have an a penis" - Carl and Glenn

Alex Miller: When I went down on her... she was kind of... spicy
Tanzi: I don't know what you're talking about... Definitely wasn't like that when I went down on her
Alex Miller: Must've been the bladder infection

Tanzi: Kovalchuk... YOU SUCK!
(pause)
Carl: Koval-suck!

"Perfacle" - Tanzi

"After the third time, you get powder... after the fourth� you just lose your soul" - Alex Miller

Dad: I would give a leg to be able to play the piano.
Mom: You would give a leg?
Dad: Yeah, I�d give your leg to be able to play the piano.
Mom: I�d give your dick to be able to play the piano.
Dad: It would be better if you took it every once in a while instead.
Mom: I would take it if there was something there.
Dad: Trust me� there�s something there.
Mom: You�re right� I just can�t feel it.

Alex: I have an allergy to titties
Carl: Oh yeah, how do you figure?
Alex: Cuz when I start touching them and rubbing them all in my face, certain things start swelling up and getting really hard.

---NEW STUFF!!!---

"Glenn Kavanagh" (4:59:29 PM): you never cease to amaze

�Carl Etheridge" (7:22:06 PM): my cock is rather like a marble slab
"Carl Etheridge" (7:22:09 PM): huge and hard
"Carl Etheridge" (7:22:17 PM): like a fucking rock
RedAlienZero (7:23:06 PM): damn
RedAlienZero (7:23:10 PM): a Ford huh?
RedAlienZero (7:23:16 PM): yeah... your cock is a ford
"Carl Etheridge" (7:23:19 PM): All American
"Carl Etheridge" (7:23:20 PM): you know it
RedAlienZero (7:23:23 PM): hahaha
RedAlienZero (7:23:37 PM): mine is mcdonald's
RedAlienZero (7:23:40 PM): cuz it loves to see you smile
"Carl Etheridge" (7:23:46 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Carl Etheridge" (7:23:47 PM): I love yo
RedAlienZero (7:23:53 PM): I love you too

�Would you like duct tape and a roofie?� � err �I mean, dinner and a movie� - Carl

�If you didn�t have hands� you wouldn�t have a sex life� � Lulu

�That�s not porn� that�s disgusting� � Tanzi

�95% of women want to be with Fran, the other 5% are lesbians� � Lulu

�Your mom is fat� with our love child� � Carl

RedAlienZero (12:50:11 AM): cuz i like my penis
"Glenn Kavanagh" (12:50:22 AM): right
"Glenn Kavanagh" (12:50:26 AM): it's an a penis

"Trike Girl" (6:34:17 PM): like "oh how dare you not love me passionately after i did you and that other guy in the same 40 minute period!"
"Trike Girl" (6:34:27 PM): "i let you go first and everything"

�*sniff* *sniff* Smells like I�m a loser� � Carl (talking about someone else� of course)


Eitherhoo, you have been BOOFED by the BoofMaster,
Please come back and visit

Last Updated: 10-18-06

If you have any questions or would like to notify me about any mistakes please message me on AIM (RedAlienZero)