The Jesuit Retreat Journal
Jesuit Retreat Journal
Disclaimer: This journal is meant to depict the events that happened on the Jesuit Retreat as told by me. The events that are written here are exacly what has been recorded by the "PIMP" journal. Some information is subject to be sensored for personal reasons. Also I don't have a built-in spell check in my brain so milstakes are imminent despite Will's best efforts.
02-29-04
(4:46 pm)
Retreat- time to experience yourself, others, and Jeebus
(4:48 pm)
Duncan messes with shoe and his pen.
(4:50 pm)
Why are we here?... seems to not have a single answer. More analyzing is needed. Suck marrow out of life.
(4:51 pm)
Moretta starts talking... stop world to come here.
(4:54 pm)
Permission to leave granted
(5:00 pm)
Dismissed to Casa 2
(5:02 pm)
Long gets shafted (he doesn't get a seat)
(5:26 pm)
Sitting down for lunch (later realized it was dinner). Small groups with Williams was... interesting. The smell is peculiar
(5:35 pm)
Mike and Will stroll in
(5:39 pm)
Dinner is served, pasta w/ chicken
(5:57 pm)
Dessert w/ some cinnamom infested apple pie
(6:10 pm)
"How could any girl, without a dick, like Randall?"
(6:16 pm)
laughing with the guys in the assmebly building. Duncan picks nose. Realized earlier that Mrs. Putnam is potentially pregnant... or getting really fat, Jenny Kraig could help.
(6:19 pm)
Duncan is now cheesy poof. The excellence of this journal has been noted.
(6:21 pm)
Duncan conversing w/ Rathgaber. Looks funny, probably isn't.
(6:23 pm)
Duncan and I laugh it up at the machine gunning motion of nipples
(6:25 pm)
Mr. V begins presentation... YAY! "It's the mind that's evil."
(6:30 pm)
Mr. V presentation... "Who am I?"
(6:34 pm)
Time to listen to V's story...
"Meaning accrues (collects) in some sort of duration."
(A picture of a soldier holding a child in Iraq) The picture smells of stagnant blood, of useless death. Hope, suffering, dispair, need, apathy, empathy. Horror, sin, murder, loneliness, being forgotten, not being remembered. Giving a hand, giving your life, giving your soul. Running away, fear, pressure, melancholy, need. Heat, sweat, drool, discomfort. Eyes burning, lips cracking, heart pounding. Why? Who? Fire, passion, belief, faith, hope. Abandonment, dispair, loneliness, sorrow. Dreaming, hoping, praying.
(7:18 pm)
Group discussion envelopes my soul...
PS: Duncan can't draw at all
(7:23 pm)
Root draws a nuclear supository
(7:30 pm)
Root blows nose on sandpaper. I am starting to suspect feelings of jealousy from Duncan as he too blows his nose and wants to be written about
(7:33 pm)
"Bring the Rain" Bean Starts presentation... yay!
(9:00 pm)
snack
(9:30 pm)
meet back at assembly building for another speech and some more journaling. Williams is a pimp-daddy. The fear of being anally ravaged grows sronger! Will reads and laughs at mine and Root's journals, again making a note of the excellence and necessity of the journal itself!
(9:35 pm)
Will asked to leave and go back to rightful home
(9:35 1/2 pm)
Will leaves and goes back to rightful home... naked!
(9:36 pm)Duncan blows nose on sandpaper, another strive towards attention.
Mrs. Putnam- Female (contrary to popular belief) "Know yourself" and "Every Rose has its thorn"
(10:02 pm)
Root is a loser!
What the end of my life movie would be like: "It will end with me driving my Ferrari Maranello 575M off a cliff and right before I hit the water it says 'to be continued...' (makes for a good sequel)
(10:37 pm)
sauce is weak
03-01-04
(12:31 am)
Just got done being raped by Root at Texas Hold 'em
(12:35 am)
Root and I laugh and talk about the sweetness of these journals
(12:38 am)
wonderful piss taken... sleep now?
(12:41 am)
I am greatful Root has taken me into his room under the protection of his wing. Big black man in the other room.... not good! Roots dong needs airing out.
(12:45 am)
Root's piss was also enjoyed. We have a nice pot. Also note: "the pillows blow at life."
(12:47 am)
Root has a quarrel w/ mattress, because it makes noise, promising it will "end it."
(12:48 am)
Quarrel ended when Tanzi suggests to move mattress away from wall. Root does and bows his head in much shame.
(8:07 am)
Breakfast definitely not smelling up to par. It is balls cold outside. Root is a douche. I threw the washcloth at Root because he was snoring... what a douche.
(8:30 am)
yeah, analyzing required
(8:37 am)
Mr. Perry's ?'s
(9:03 am)
In Will's crib
(9:08 am)
Will being a jackass.
(9:41 am)
waiting for more bullshit group session.... hope it's amusing.
(9:45 am)
Group session done... sleep seems unavoidable...
(10:34 am)
got done playing some games. Back at assembly building. Everybody is tired and Duncan decides to dick with my watch... what a douche.
My unfinished business:
places ive never gone
people ive never met
feelings i need to share
getting to know my dad and spending some time with him
helping my mom and expressing my love for her
not being there when my friends have asked me to be
not asking for help
bullshitting my friends and myself about everything
telling lies to become someone else
putting others down to make myself feel better or bigger
apologizing to all those people
judgin peers before i get to know them
stereotyping those i don't know
going with what everyone else thinks and not making my own path
opening up and making others feel appreciated in my life
(some of these are regrets and some of these are unfinished business)
(11:42 am)
Reconciliation begins. Partner time was good. Robert is cool.
(12:08 pm)
Wendell has been proven wrong as I continue writing in the "little book thing."
(12:41 pm)
Lunch is over and frisbee is going to commence. A good game ahead.
(2:20 pm)
Frisbee over and good shower ahead. Frisbee was good. Shower in Will's crib was... interesting.
(2:52 pm)
Reconciliation ahead. Sad... sad and gloomy. Inspecting pen and realized it has no eraser. Why would it need one? We might have to resort to Cannibalism.
(3:20 pm)
sleepy
If I knew I was gonna die tomorrow, how would I spend the rest of the day?
I would get my doctor to get me a card that said I was gonna die in 24 hours. I would use the card to get girls to feel sorry for me and then have wonderful sex with me... (only a couple of girls because a guy can only do so much in one day.) It would be good. I would call all my relatives and tell them I loved them. I would hang out with my family for a while and my bro too. I would then proceed to doing a bunch of stuff I have wanted to do: punch a cop in the face, blow up some hoe's crib, smoke a blunt (not so much), drink some booze, sky dive, shoot someone out of a high-speed catapult... right into a brick wall, flash my "imminent death card at people." The for the remaining hours I would spend time with my friends, but mainly Will cuz he's a pimp.
(3:47 pm)
Had a wonderful time journalling with Will... what a pimp!
(3:51 pm)
"Mad world" playing, finally a non-ghetto song. Analyzing reason why they decided to play a useful song... no reason could be found, so I'm just gonna go with the flow... woot!
(3:54 pm)
"Mad world" over and more ghetto-songing commences... woot for me... NOT!
(3:57 pm)
God found when song ended, in the words of Will: "FUCK COUNTRY!"
(4:13 pm)
back in assembly to hear Klontz talk about seeking god. Let's hope he knows where god is cuz I gots not fucking clue. The song isn't bad: "suspended."
(4:35 pm)
Klontz done talking *tear*. Now me and Will chillin' in da "nature." Will suggest that just because it's painted green it don't mean it's nature... I concur.
(4:44 pm)
Root joins our partay!!! Woot for us.
(4:54 pm)
Back into the "reflection casa" (Nap house). I get the privilegde of sitting next to Duncan, what a pimp.
(4:58 pm)
Duncan strives for more attention as he blows air through a fucking Twizzler piece of shit. I think I need to give him some love.
(4:59 pm)
Petting of Duncan commences and cases arousal, ending emminent
(4:59 1/2 pm)
Petting ceased, Duncan spiritually crushed.
(5:16 pm)
Williams staits: "If I was mad at you, you'd be asleep right now."
(5:26 pm)
Session ended. So much fun. He's hilarious. "I wanted her butt naked. I wanted to slap dem titties." -Williams
(5:42 pm)
Amazingly enlightening talk with Williams over.
(5:46 pm)
Duncan, Wendell, me, and Root are now chilling on an incredibly comfortable nigger couch.
(6:00 pm)
Dinner served. Pork and Green beans and corn.. mmmmm *sarcasm*
(6:16 pm)
Fish assignment accepted.
(6:45 pm)
Break over main assembly meeting. Steve Daly is gonna chat. It is hot in her.
(7:11 pm)
Will punches me... NOT COOL! We are chilling in nature again, this time Mike joins with a bobble-head.
(7:30 pm)
Happy group time commencing, not to self: Will and Mike evil when together.
(10:30 pm)
Read letters and had personal reflection time. Shared an unforgetable experience walking with Will. (forgot what it was about... jk) He is my pillar of strength.
(10:31 pm)
Lecture in assembly building.... boredom commencing.
(10:38 pm)
Bitching of Reese has ceased, praise to god! Back in the room chilling with Root.
(11:36 pm)
Playing cards with Root over, sleep is drawing nearer. Root is making me wish I had a nuclear supository to shove in his dick... naked. We have concluded that boning "fish" would be more devastating than boning the dickful BLANK. What a bitch.
03-02-04
(7:56 am)
Joined again for another deluding smell of breakfeast. Sleep was good and the dreaming was better. Root didn't snore too bad which is always better than being ass-pounded by Victor. A wonderful day ahead of us *sarcasm.* Home is needed. The pen is once again analyzed and again no eraser was found. Cannibalism seems to be the only answer.
(8:24 am)
A "fish" discussion was held much to my amusement.
(8:44 am)
Back in assembly building. This is not promising. Monotomy growing amazingly overwhelming. Duncan is still a douche.
(9:08 am)
Cleaning terminated and now the nut-scratching begins. Not looking forward to the mass bullshit... GOD DAMNIT!
(9:31 am)
Wow, how boring can it get? Sleepy, not wanting to do anything.
(9:33 am)
Assembly... AGAIN! Hitler knew what he was talking about. Mass genocide needed.... of useless people!
(9:35 am)
Jake getting ready to talk. It's the same shit, song, talk, questions. Im about ready to go home to my crib and chill. Overall I would have to say the only useful part was getting the letters and talking about 'em. That and having Williams as the group leader.... what a pimp!
3 people I think are leaders: Mussolini, Hitler, and my Dad (this was off the top of my head, but now that I think about it, my answer wouldn't change)
(10:00 am)
Jake done, Ryan starting... guess what? You guessed it... more songs.
(10:04 am)
Me and Root are about to end ourselves for Dave Matthews has no musical talent. He is a mockery of the human ability to talk and sing. The only reasonable thing to do is end him with a shovel to the face. This song better be over soon or I will have to get up and end myself. DAVE.... YOU SUCK!!!
(10:07 am)
Praise to god has to be given for the song is over. Ryan's voice has never sounded so goddamn good!
(10:15 am)
Ryan done talking. Dave equals crap!
(11:28 am)
The busses are boarded. Mass was amusing at best. I had to read. (burning of the skin on the "holy" word) Oh my god! what a freakin tragedy! I'm sorry, I'm starting to sound like Katie. Anyway, this journal has accurately recorded the "important" events of the last retreat at Jesuit. Go team me! It's time to end the journal... with a shovel... in the face.... NAKED! Thank you journal... THANK YOU! *starts crying*
END!