| A Big House Up On A Hill |
| Once again, I'm not exactly sure why I'm writing this page. I suppose that by writing things that I've never actually said, I'll feel better. I don't know, but either way, this page is going to contain some dreams and aspirations that I have and someday hope to achieve. For some time now, I've loved acting. Albeit, I'm not that great at it, I enjoy it immensely. Considering that my everyday life is composed of a falsified character, I think that I'm a pretty good actress. But what I mean is stage acting. I've only taken one acting class in school, and although the plays we did weren't that great, I loved it. It's been my dream for awhile now to become an actress on Broadway. I know that's pretty silly, but it's really something that I'd like to do, if only to say that I had done it. Another thing that I want is a wonderful husband. Someone hard-working, attractive, and friendly, that my family will approve of. I've always disappointed my family with pretty much everything I've done, so I really want to get this one right. I want him to have a good job, close to home; I want him to enjoy coming home in the evening; I want him to love me unconditionally; but more than that, I want to be a good wife. I want to be a stereotypical fifties wife, who cooks and cleans and takes care of everything. I have no idea what has spawned this dream of mine, and I know it's somewhat fairy tale-ish, but it's something that I want. More than anything though, I just want to be happy. I can't recall ever being just sublimely happy, and I want that so much. To me, that would be the hardest thing to not only obtain, but maintain. I know that people are unhappy from time to time, but they generally recover and get back to their normal, happy lives. I want that. I want to wake up in the morning and not mind getting out of bed; to not mind that I have to go to school, or to work; to love the people around me with everything I've got and enjoy doing it. I want mental stability. I want my mood swings to stop so I can get on with my life. I want to stop living in the past. I just want serene, unparalleled, happiness. |