Tiger

A guy, out on the golf course, takes a high-speed ball right in the
crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.  He finally gets 
himself to the doctor.  He says, "How bad is it, Doc?  I'm going on 
my honeymoon next week, and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."  
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal
and keep it straight.  But it should be okay next week."

So, he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided
bandage and wired it all together.  It was an impressive work of art. 
The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend.  They marry, and on 
their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to 
reveal a gorgeous set of breasts.
This was the first time he ever saw them. She says, "You are the first;
no one has ever touched these breasts."He pulls down his pants, whips it 
out, and says, "And look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"