Costello:       Hey, Abbott!
 
Abbot:          Yes, Lou?

Costello:       I just got my first computer.

Abbot:          That's great Lou. What did you get?

Costello:       A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard
                drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.

Abbot:          That's terrific, Lou

Costello:       But I don't know what any of it means!!

Abbot:          You will in time.

Costello:       That's exactly why I am here to see you.
 
Abbot:          Oh?
 
Costello:       I heard that you are a real computer expert.
 
Abbot:          Well, I don't know-
 
Costello:       Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to
                train me.

Abbot:          Really?
 
Costello:       Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
 
Abbot:          O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
 
Costello:       I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that
                you should be very careful how you turn it off.

Abbot:          That's true.
 
Costello:       So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to
                turn it off. What do I do?

Abbot:          Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
 
Costello:       No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
 
Abbot:          I know, you press the Start button-
 
Costello:       Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how
                to start it.  So tell me what to do.

Abbot:          I did.
 
Costello:       When?
 
Abbot:          When I told you to press the Start button.
 
Costello:       Why should I press the Start button?
 
Abbot:          To shut off the computer.
 
Costello:       I press Start to stop.
 
Abbot:          Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
 
Costello:       I knew it! So what do I press.
 
Abbot:          Start
 
Costello:       Start what?
 
Abbot:          Start button.
 
Costello:       Start button to do what?
 
Abbot:          Shut down.

Costello:       You don't have to get rude!
 
Abbot:          No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
 
Costello:       Then say what you mean.
 
Abbot:          To shut down the computer, press-
 
Costello:       Don't say, "Start!"
 
Abbot:          Then what do you want me to say?
 
Costello:       Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing
                to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and 
                Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses 
                the Start to Stop.

Abbot:          But that's what you do.
 
Costello:       And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green
                lights.

Abbot:          Don't be ridiculous.
 
Costello:       I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time
                we started this conversation.

Abbot:          What are you talking about?
 
Costello:       I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.