I was going to do it. Well of course after Precalc which was a pain in
da ass, but you got no idea. I think I crammed some shit early in the
morning. Bet I woke up early just to do that. But I'm sure it was going
to be no use. After the test I was just full of anticipation and hope
and fear all wrapped up into one. I went into the library to meet up
with my friends. Only guy I could think that could help me was Sid.
I asked if he could go to the cafe with me cause I wanted to give out
the gift. He agreed to, so we walked down to the cafeteria. It's kinda
strange but I could picture it as if it happened yesterday. As I enter
the cafe my hearts beating. We go past a couple of tables and I don't
see her. So we get to the end of the cafe and I thought I might try the
Snack Bar. So Sid went and got some grape juice, and I asked if I could pay
it for him since I asked him to come down in the first place but he said
no. Once again the next search. This time I see her with a couple of
friends. My heart starts to beat faster and I just loose it a bit so
Sid and I grabbed another table and sat there. All that time I kept
thinking when I should do it, and all that time Sid was sipping on his
grape juice. Sid told me I think that I better hurry it up cause
break was ending. I then got up and walk right to the restroom.
I needed to cool myself down so I rinsed my face and Sid came up and
said how funny it is that I'm always running against time and running
out of it. I then look into the mirror and see Cat and her friends walk
away. I said 'O shit' and ran for her. Either now or never. I got her
to stop. I then said that I wanted to give her these chocolates, and I
told her that even if she didn't eat it, I didn't care if she trashed
the chocolates, just as long as she reads the letter I had included.
Actually she didn't take the choclate at first with ease. Cause when
I handed her the chocolate she seemed real surprised and bit hesitant
to take it, I had to hold it a while before she reluctantly took it.
She had her hands up and sorted wanted to back them away and somehow
I think she was like saying 'o no'. Her face was super red in my opinion
at that time. I bet she was blushing. Anyways she stared me once again,
this time I think I saw some fear I guess in it. Her cheeks were also
quite red, so it looked like she was either embarrassed or worried.
Must be embarassing for a guy you don't know to hand you chocolates.
I then told her that I wished to see her after school and to meet me
at the cafeteria so she could tell me the answer. It seemed that she
understood, so I left feeling a bit happy. Strange thing was that I
did it in front of her friends I guess I remember Jennifer Chen this
one girl in our arch class and the other mean looking girl who seems
to be pissed at me or something. Anyways they go on thru the hall and
Sid and I went out the cafe since class was starting. Sid later
said I didn't sound all that serious, according to him, I was a bit
laffy. I guess I was so scared and nervous again. Well I automatically
head to physics since the class was just a few steps away from the cafe.
Later after school I went to the arch room to work cause I had to catch
up on the house project we were doing. Not to mention Sid needed my keys.
So all that time when I worked I was just getting psyched up about
leaving cause I was wanted to meet up with Cat. It was like 3PM and
Sid and I walked back down to the cafeteria again. We waited a few
minutres and then Sid when to the cafeteria to grab a drink. I sat there
waiting. As the time went by my heart seemed to go down with it. Pretty
soon 10 minutes passed and I sat there waiting. Soon guys like Paul Wang
and Kelvin Lo came. Paul was being stupid once again. Kept asking what
were we doing here and stuff but I ignored him. It was the worst
position I was in. Sid kept urging me to wait, but after 30 minutes it
was time to give up so I slumped back to the arch room feeling sad
furious and confused all at the same time. I just didn't get it why
she didn't come down? I know she knows Englsih, and I had told her to
come down and meet me so I knew the answer. But nada. Even before this
I was worried that she had trashed my chocolates so she never read the
letter and shit. Sid kept assuring me that no one in the world was that
cruel. Heck I even walked down the path the girls took earlier that day
so I could check out the trash cans. Well this was a big failure and
a big blow to my heart. I couldn't hold it in at that point and I
think what was obvious from the start and from little signs has
finally convinced me.
That was basically strike 3 for me. I mean I had called her for a
movie on Wednesday, Strike 1. Then I asked her to go to watch
Star Wars w/ me Friday and she ignored me, Strike 2. And lastly the
worst blow and I even bought the expensive necklace by then which
is basically Strike 3....I'm OUT!!! Of course there is the aftermath
and the prom itself. I'll wrap it up later. |
