 San fRAM'S BONEHEAD RAMS STATEMENT AWARD (Sept
30) |
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Well, the season is
underway, and while some eagle-eyed pundits have---well, NOTICED---that the Rams are
playing well, there are a still a few stubborn souls clinging to the *past* for their take
on the current state of the NFL. Which leads us to the latest winner of the "Boneheaded Rams Statement Award!!" Straight from the Cincinnati Enquirer (presumably the sports department - but who can tell?).....TOM GROESCHEN! Tom fires up a PLETHORA of nitwitted gems in his preview of the upcoming Rams/Bengals game, but we can only have ONE winning statement per award, so the judges have their work cut out for them this week. And folks, it appears that the award-winning statement this week involves an ill-advised use of quotation marks! Let's have a look! The winning entree: "...Call it the Horri-Bowl or the Bad Bowl. Whatever it is, it's coming to a riverfront concrete bowl near you. THE BENGALS AND THE ST. LOUIS RAMS, WHO HAVE MADE A PARODY OF NFL PARITY IN THE 1990s, WILL "PLAY" SUNDAY AT CINERGY FIELD." Ahh, Tom, Tom, Tom.....still got yer nose stuck in those 1998 season wrap-ups?? Perhaps you've taken a gander at Pro Football Weakly's 1999 season preview---which picked the Rams to go 2-14---and perchance you consider it "gospel"? Well, Tom, some might say that the "Rams" have "played" "fairly well" so far "this year." They may have even "improved"! In fact, from what has been reported (*above* ground, Tom) in the past few weeks, it seems as though : * Kurt Warner has "thrown" for SIX touchdowns in two games. * Oh! And he has a quarterback rating of "108.6." * And some guy named Marshall Faulk---new to the Rams this year, Tom!- has 198 "yards from scrimmage" in two games! * All of which has helped the Rams be "undefeated!" Ah well, better to look to the past for cheap and easy slams, Tom. Just be careful where you hang those quotation marks with our "BRSA" judges sniffing around! Now, lest anyone feel that the judges were hasty in awarding this week's winner, or that Tom doesn't fully DESERVE a "BRSA," let me add *this* little bonus comment from later in his article: "In this decade, the Rams...have lost Pro Bowl-caliber players in defensive tackle Sean Gilbert, linebacker Kevin Greene, and CORNERBACK RYAN MCNEIL." Ahem. Friends, if THAT doesn't solidify Tom's place at the top of the victory column, NOTHING will! Congratulations to Tom Groeschen, the latest winner of the "Boneheaded Rams Statement Award!" |
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