In fact, actually, I already knew I'd gotten pretty snookered last night. I remember prety much everything, just not in so much detail. Waking up there was an empty cup of orange sherbet on the nightstand--i remember getting that out to eat. I also remember adding to last night's entry, and *most* of the gist of it...but vaguely. I remember thinking about what I was writing, and knowing I had to get it out and down in here...it's *is* something I fell very serious about. Sometimes Dan just...he just angers me with his actions. I don't really know if he ever knew but a lot of ppl in AIT couldn't stand him...too headstrong. it's one thing to be the shit and go about your way. It's another thing to *know* your the shit and act that way...OFTEN. Maybe he doesn't try to act that way, in fact i think that if I told him this he'd argue with me...fuck, I *KNOW* he would argue that point--most likelt to the effect of, well I HAVE an IQ for 160+, I don't fluff myself up about it and I don't talk down to people and and and and...but he does. Despite his "attempts" to not sound the pompous ass...being around him long enough one begins to see it. He's my friend still. he's the outgoing one of the two. I'm the reclusive one...so I can't really place **too much** blame on him for things like what happened with Kelli. I mean hell...if I was her I would have picked him over myself...most women would. There isn't too much about me that women are attracted to...this thing I've know for a good many years now...which is why I have such a hard time meeting women....there is really nothing about me apparent on the surface that speaks of who I really am, or what I have to offer.
AND while I'm on the subject...what exactly do I have to offer anyway? I just don't know. I've created a self-fullfilling prophecy in my life...that i would remain single for all my life...my life is geared towards that. I have trouble making myself meet women, trouble abandoing my mind in favor of my heart, trouble discovering just what place I should/could/would have with a woman.
I have enough trouble making friends as is...normal guy pals. There have been few people in my life that I could accurately label "friend" and not aqauintensce, or companion, or co-worker...or the like...and most of them are long gone, relegated to memory alone...
SO how the FUCK do I meet a woman?
Just orded tix for MXPX Monday night. I dropped $1150 in the mail today...bills suck...but there is *always* money for music! Tuesday Ben Harper is playing in Raleigh and I already have my ticket for that one :)
So going back to work Monday won't suck *so* bad...plus it's only a 3 day workweek due to the four day weekend for veterans day...Wahoo!
Emergency Lifesaver Class is over...good and bad. I really enjoyed it, the instructor was funny as hell and made the class fun. I learned a great deal of things. We did IVs again today....different partners. Beal's partner stormed off in a fit and wouldn't let him stick him, so I took his place. He didn't have any problems administering the IV on me--i don't see what the fuck guys problem was...apparently he didn't want to take the course--treid to get out of it--seems the IV portion of it must have been why...had a seriosu burr up his ass. Beal and I both had a few words together about him later. We ate at Spanky's again...a decent little cafe right next to the college annex. The food's not bad, it's cheap, and, the waitress had a wonderfully warm smile and lovely eyes, plus a bright and cheery mood...always a plus.
TGIF. Never did hear back from Melissa. dan was saying we was gonna email Kelli and tell her...that it's fucked up...I'm all like, ah, who cares...not meant to be obviously. Makes the distant thing easier to deal with, doesn't it?
George Dickell has a cool new label on the "white label" mash # 12. "Ducks Unlimited". Apparently Dan took the bottle with him so I wouldn't crack it while he's at this going away dinner for some division LT...but thats OK...I grabbed a couple of Dave's cheap beers to help tie me over. But anyway the label reminds me of a couple guys I knew at Humboldt State--duck hunters and fishermen both. Nice guys and all. By now they're working at some small engineering firm or something probably. Best to 'em.