I love you.
I love all that you are.
My inner child loves you.
The broken places in me
relate
when you share the brokenness in you.
And yet, I see, you are strong and beautiful.
As, I have come to realize, so am I.
Angry, so very angry.
Why am I so angry?
The anger consumes me,
Eats me up inside.
I hate him.
Why does it matter?
Why does *he* matter?
I hate him.
No...
I don't hate him,
I can't hate him.
I hate how he makes me feel.
How do I feel?
I don't know, I don't know...
Confusion, anger, hurt, love
Love?
Desire?
I don't want to like him.
I don't want to care about him.
Too hard.
I want to be friends.
I want him to go away.
He challenges me.
Do I want his friendship?
Yes... so very badly.
He hurts me...
His criticisms sting...
He doesn't understand.
And yet
Somehow
We are not enemies.
We argue and fight,
Yet there is something there
I don't want to lose.
tangles vines
intertwining
intermeshing
weaving in and out of each other
where does one stop
and the other begin?
I don't know how to feel.
Should I love him?
Should I hate him?
He makes me react.
angry
alive
hurt
in love
He makes me long for... something
For you, Lord.
He makes me fall in love with you.
He made me believe he cared.
He said he was my friend
... and I believed him.
Was it a lie?
Or are his feelings
as jumbled
as mine?
Was he lying to me,
or is he lying to himself?
starting over
a friendship intense
confused
too close
too far
what next?
don't know
too confused
mixed up
starting over
at the beginning
a father figure
lost little girl cuddles in the arms of her daddy
absorbing his love
I want your love
I want your attention
Your kindness feed something in me
I am a hungry little bird, wanting more, always more
A touch fulfills
yet creates more need
leaving a bigger hole
When you notice me
I want you to notice me more
When you are caring
I want you to take care of me
I want you to be me
I want you to be my adult who takes care of me
No words.
I have no words.
How can I capture in a poem
My love for you?
A love so deep
So strong
So pure.
Freely given.
Endless.
Timeless.
My love for you.
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