Poems newly added to the website July 13, 2005. Some are new. Some are just newly shared.
I love you.
I love all that you are.
My inner child loves you.
The broken places in me
relate
when you share the brokenness in you.
And yet, I see, you are strong and beautiful.
As, I have come to realize, so am I.
Angry, so very angry.
Why am I so angry?
The anger consumes me,
Eats me up inside.
I hate him.
Why does it matter?
Why does *he* matter?
I hate him.
No...
I don't hate him,
I can't hate him.
I hate how he makes me feel.
How do I feel?
I don't know, I don't know...
Confusion, anger, hurt, love
Love?
Desire?
I don't want to like him.
I don't want to care about him.
Too hard.
I want to be friends.
I want him to go away.
He challenges me.
Do I want his friendship?
Yes... so very badly.
He hurts me...
His criticisms sting...
He doesn't understand.
And yet
Somehow
We are not enemies.
We argue and fight,
Yet there is something there
I don't want to lose.
tangles vines
intertwining
intermeshing
weaving in and out of each other
where does one stop
and the other begin?
I don't know how to feel.
Should I love him?
Should I hate him?
He makes me react.
angry
alive
hurt
in love
He makes me long for... something
For you, Lord.
He makes me fall in love with you.
Deception.
Beautiful lies.
I dared to hope.
... deceived.
The lies shatter.
I'm left alone.
He made me believe he cared.
He said he was my friend
... and I believed him.
Was it a lie?
Or are his feelings
as jumbled
as mine?
Was he lying to me,
or is he lying to himself?
hate
black
ugly
slimy
oozing
bottled up
held tight
exploding
dripping
covering
hiding
twisted
bent
cold
hard
silent
hate
I wish there were not a cloud in the sky.
I love the blue sky,
But I hate the clouds.
The clouds want to cover the sky
And destroy the beauty of the blue sky.
God, don't let the clouds take over the sky.
Help the blue sky to fight the clouds
And let his beauty shine through.
II
Storm clouds are filling the sky.
The blue is disappearing.
God, why won't the blue sky ask you to help
him fight the clouds in his soul?
I love him.
I don't want him to fall.
III
The sky is cloudy,
But I'm not gonna cry.
A Voice has told me
He will be blue again,
And I patiently wait.
My inspiration is gone.
In love?
No more.
That love,
Risen out of
A sea of illusion,
Is gone.
He no longer fills my thoughts.
No anguish.
No highs.
A peaceful contentment
Is now mine.
No writing a poem
To wring out emotions.
When emotions settle, inspiration flees.
Feelings strong
Now muted.
A roaring stream
Now a quiet river.
Joy explodes inside me.
Inside
No room
For all the joy.
Joy wells up,
Bubbles over,
Flows out to the universe
And back again.
A love so deep
So strong
So pure.
Freely given.
Endless.
Timeless.
My love for you.
Hope hurts.
To hope is to feel the lack,
To know the empty cavity inside.
The heart aches,
Longing for what is missing.
The emptiness calls to be filled,
Yet nothing comes to fill it.
Hope hurts.
Better not to hope.
Better to wall up the empty cavity,
To not know it's there.
Better half alive than to hope.
Hope hurts.
I don't need you.
I need to see beauty,
Like the beauty I've seen in you.
I need to feel alive,
Like I do when I think of you.
I need so much that I've found in you.
But it's not you that I need.
I don't need you.
I have no words.
highs
lows
ups
downs
a forest of feelings
Where to begin to describe?
I have no words
Emotions.
I swim through a sea of emotions.
Tossed and turned.
No moorings.
Calm.
In me.
I float on the gentle waves.
starting over
a friendship intense
confused
too close
too far
what next?
don't know
too confused
mixed up
starting over
at the beginning
a father figure
lost little girl cuddles in the arms of her daddy
absorbing his love
I want your love
I want your attention
Your kindness feed something in me
I am a hungry little bird, wanting more, always more
A touch fulfills
yet creates more need
leaving a bigger hole
When you notice me
I want you to notice me more
When you are caring
I want you to take care of me
I want you to be me
I want you to be my adult who takes care of me
No words.
I have no words.
How can I capture in a poem
My love for you?
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