| updates on my life |
| sunday, april 6, 2003 (hmm.... last update one week ago... okay, so i'm not doing too badly at this updating thing...) ;) well, there's isn't too much to tell as of yet... just that life is good, God is good, school isn't necessarily good, but i'm surviving, friends are good... i think you get the point. no, there isn't really anything that precipitated all these warm and fuzzy feelings... i think i've just realised that i have it pretty good, and i don't want to take that for granted. i'm nearing the end of a quite relaxing weekend... unfortunately, i did minimal work, which leaves me up to today to really start cracking on this whole studying for finals thing... yikes! for all you christians out there, please pray for me so that i don't actually fail out of school!!! i don't actually feel like writing out my recent (not very wacky or exciting) escapades in full, as per usual, so i think i'm just going to randomly write out things when they run through my head. hopefully it won't be too incoherant! surprisingly (or maybe this is just a signal that nobody actually visits my page!), nobody's actually asked about my guy sitch. well... on the boy-front, nothing's really materialized. sigh. "i'm the girl of your dreams masquarading as your best friend..." (smallville). or maybe i'm really not, i have no idea. huh. maybe i don't even like him! whatever.. this is not going to be one of those times where i pine over a guy like some simpering little girl! (i like this new attitude! it's good!) oh, so i was hanging out with my friend ketan on friday and had a lot of fun. we weren't doing anything wacky or exciting, but it was really cool just hanging out, talking, and watching him paint geometric eyes and other things... you know, he's quite talented - he drew this really cool picture of an elephant. anyway, it was a cool night. we called up two old friends of ours, karen in montreal, and eebs at guelph... it was soooo good talking with them and catching up (especially karen since i hadn't spoken to her since graduation.... happy belated birthday, dearie!). i think thsoe two are friends that i'll always have even if i don't see them on a regular basis... although i'm going to try to change that (the seeing them part, not the friendship part!) man, i miss everyone so much, we have to all get together this summer FOR SURE! none of this, "oh we have to do something sometime" stuff. let's actually set dates! hmmm... how about august 9th? sound good? excellent, just ring me up! (do you notice that i've written something similar to this in pretty much every entry so far? anyway, after talking with ketan, i realised that i should keep in better touch with people. especially the people that i DO see everyday... i gotta keep cultivating those friendships so that it'll get to the point where i don't have to be near them or see them every week in order to have a close relationship with them. ideally, i want as many of those types of friends where, even if i don't see them for a year, everything would be back to normal again once i saw them. so i've decided to spend more time with everyone - including ketan himself. he's such a cool guy and i wish i had gotten to be better friends with him in high school... we'll at least i have my chance now! so if you're reading this now ketan, i officially proclaim you cool and worthy of my friendship! and thanks for being so nice to me! actually, to tell you the truth, it was really heartening to hear that you thought i was a nice (what an all-encompassing word, eh?) and sincere person - you'll never know how encouraging it was to hear that.... speaking of getting to know people, i just spoke on the phone with jason for an hour and a half! he just randomly called me up, and we managed to talk for quite a while. we never spoke at all back at mci or even here much at uni, so it was a little out-of-the-blue, but he's a nice guy. a little quiet, really inquisitive, but he's got a good, dry sense of humour. oh! and here are words of wisdom passed on to me from jason: "only eat raw foods to get the power of a gorilla..." oh, and about the "keeper": no! no! a thousand times no!!!!!!!!! eeeeeew! and to my dear friend suzanna (or is there only one 'n'?), thanks for being such a nice you! you've been a great friend, keeping me accountable - you've been instrumental in "bringing me back"... you may not have realised it, but i probably couldn't/wouldn't have done it without you! see, even if you don't realise or think about it b/c it seems so insignificant, you can really make a difference in someone's life! also, thanks for introducing me to such nice people like tina and june - you guys are great too! (even if you do think that simon's scary stories are actually scary!) so i just got this email from my dad about my brother jon. he's the sole person in consideration for this job that he didn't even apply for! i'm so proud of him! and if he decides to not take it b/c of his missions trip to china, i'll still be proud of him, even more perhaps, for getting the guts to just follow his heart (and God). it's a hard decision to make - though perhaps not from a materialistic point of view. although i want him to take the job - it's a fantastic opportunity - i'm so glad that he's taking God into this decision... it takes real strength of character and faith to do such a thing. you know, i realise now that, more and more, i really admire my brother. it weird because we don't relaly talk all the time and we're not as close as, say, grace is to her brother. but i realise that his opinion means a lot to me. i respect him considerably (and this may be why i never want him to see my essays and other work - because i'm afraid he'll think that they're no good) and want to gain his approval. but it's been cool that recently, we've been able to just talk a little, share about each other's lives in more than just a "my day was fine. that is all." sort of way. i'm really happy about that. jon's changed lot, and i have slightly, and it's really great to see our relationship getting a bit closer, and seeing each other mature a bit more. on a similar (but side) note, i found myself listening to jon's music all this year. i used to call it "weird" but this ambient/trip-hop stuff is actually really good. i really like massive attack, emiliana torrini (the one who sounds like bjork on the two towers soundtrack), craig armstrong (the guy who did the r+j soundtrack), and zero 7. all from his influence... strange, eh? heh. i even got keith to listen to it as well... you know what really disturbed me this week? i read in the kingston-whig standard that some asian people are getting backlash because of the whole SARS thing... and it really bothered me. i read that some person had said that all asian people were dirty and that we ate crap and etc. you get the point... very unpleasant stuff. i mean,growing up in canada, i had never before in my life encountered such an attitude. i mean, we live in toronto for goodness' sake! i know that there will always be small minds in the world (and i know that things aren't exactly ideal for ethnic groups even now i.e. stereotypes, salaries, etc.), but i figured that i'd never really be faced with this stuff since we'd progressed so much in recent years... i know that it has not yet occurred to me, but that fact that it could really shakes me up... and i swear, if anyone ever tries to avoid me on, say, a bus in toronto b/c they think i SARS since i'm chinese,, i am SO going to purposely hack and cough all over them as i exit the bus/subway!!! that'll teach them! although, i suppose i do, in some way, understand... i probably won't be rushing over to a chinese restaurant in scarborough anytime soon. now in mississauga (where we normally eat), that's fair game! i don't care! they can't deprive me of my precious chinese food after living in kingston for eight months! yeah right, as if! |
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| monday, april 7, 2003 - 1:05 a.m. praise and power was so awesome!!! i'm sorry that i didn't go earlier! it's what i've been really craving this past while. it just felt so good to worship and sing my heart out. but then afterwards... i got a confirmation (unrelated to above). and that's the end of that. and i want to know what chapter that comforting passage from isaiah was... i think it was verse 16... i need a hug. but God is still good. i'll just persevere - it's not like it was a big deal at all. i just need some time. |
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