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Lady Shang Keladry
Sorrel Rowan
Chapter Thirteen: Somewhere is Home
Mindelan- two days after the battle
Just what I want, Kel thought, time off to think! Walking through the empty halls, Kel forced herself to smile at the people who greeted her warmly. But it was empty and didn�t reach her eyes. The home she had walked since childhood for at least two months a year was damaged and dark, bearing the shadows and wounds of the battle.
Much like many of the people. They got on with their tasks grimly, just trying to keep going. Some seemed broken, their spirit�s dead. All bore the signs of the battle, youngest to eldest. Food had been scant, and all the clothes hung more loosely than they should. All had cuts and scrapes, some broken bones.
The first thing they had done in the aftermath of the battle was to set up burial pyres for the enemy dead, all those that had died from the blaze balm, first battle and the second wave. The devices that had slaughtered the Tortallans had killed just as many of their own. This disgusted Kel to her core, how someone could send his or her own men to suicide.
When she thought of that, she had to wonder about her own motivations. She had sent her soldiers, knowing the battle was going to be close. Was that the same?
Then the blaze balm. Jodai may have set it off, and Dom catapulted the balm itself, but it had been her idea � she had given the order, despite everything in her crying out it was wrong.
�You had no choice,� a soft voice said to her. Startled into reality, she realised she had unconsciously walked to the balcony she went to hide when she needed to be alone. Her fear of heights � after Conal hung her off this very balcony � had been worked out of her by the age of eight at Shang.
The only problem was the scorch marks she could see in the valley from the blaze balm.
Turning, she saw Conal walking towards her. He leaned on the rail, his sandy blond hair falling into his dark eyes. Kel and Conal had never gotten along, but something was different about him now. He seemed more mature�like he had grown up since the last time she had seen him.
�That�s the real price of duty and command; doing things that kill your conscience. We all do things we don�t want to in war, Kel,� he said. The worry in his eyes and the softness in his voice stunned her. �We do them for duty and love, and a lot of the time they are the wrong thing for the right reason. I suppose that describes war in general � wrong thing, often for the right reason.�
What he said rung a bell somewhere in Kel. Who was this sombre stranger? He couldn�t be the tormentor Kel had hated all her youth.
�You did what you had to,� he did something he never had before, kissing her forehead like, well, a brother. �Don�t let it haunt you,� he said, turning to walk away, leaving a thunderstruck sister behind.
Anders found her still gathering her wits a few minutes later. Kel ran to hug him as he stepped into the room adjoining the balcony. Unlike Conal, Anders had always gotten on well with his most unconventional sister.
�I saw who you were talking to,� Anders said as they sat on a couch in the room. �Was he bothering you?�
�No, actually,� Kel replied and told him what her and Conal had talked about. She almost laughed at the look on his face.
�He�s right. I hate to say it, but our idiot brother might be growing up,� Anders said.
�Gods forbid,� Kel murmured. �If he grows up, we won�t recognize him.�
When Anders asked her how she was, she knew he wasn�t asking about her general health. He didn�t accept her meek �okay� as an answer.
Kel sighed. �I was messed up for a while, training all the time, not eating, but I think I�m okay now.�
Anders stood up, hugging Kel again, �Not now you�re not, but you will be.�
After a tearful reunion with Adie and Orie, Kel went in search of something to do. Everywhere was like a twisted nightmare of her home. She had to get away. Going to the Healer�s tent, she found Alanna and Neal and begged them for some work. Eventually, they told her to mix remedies. Many of the remedies were Shang, so Kel found it an easy task, but it was something that required all her attention. That suited Kel fine.
Scanra � two days after the battle of Mindelan
The crowds were cheering. For her. When she had killed so many of them only days before. Now they hailed her as their Queen. Riding through the capital of Scanra (A/n � if anyone could tell me the name of the city in Scanra I would appreciate it), at the head of a �triumphant� procession, she saw the royal palace. It was impressive, she had to admit, its marble and obsidian black stone very tasteful, but also imposing.
She was whisked away to the bathhouse where she was scrubbed up and yammered at for what seemed like hours. Then it was to the dress fitter and the hair stylist. All of them seemed the same to Jodai, a succession of blonds with nothing better to do but flatter her.
Then there was the �party,� a gathering held in her honour. That had to be the most ironic thing she had heard in a long time. But she couldn�t let on she wasn�t here by her own choice � they had to believe she was on their side. Somehow she knew her survival depended on it.
Her magic was still bound, otherwise she would have considered following Numair�s example and turned half the banquet into trees. Apparently, the only useful thing they did was convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. Jodai thought they would be more useful � and less patronising � if they did the opposite.
To her surprise, the only person worth talking to was Maggur himself. He was clearly egotistical to the point of madness, clever, ruthless and dangerous, but he did make intelligent conversation. His heartless quips, candidly telling her the history of every �jumped up toady� that came to speak to them made the evening bearable.
The Prime Minister was �approaching senility, only two or three decades early,� and his Lady had �made the rounds of every eligible bachelor in the palace below her age.� Others were �so useless with a sword they might as well sheath it through their chests,� or had �a deluded idea that I would notice or care if they suddenly fell ill with an arrow through the brain.�
Soon, however, Jodai had been introduced to everyone and the King was looking at her strangely. �Yes, my lord?� she inquired.
�You appear uninterested in the conversation,� he stated, a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.
She decided to be bold, her patience now thin. �I�m afraid all of the hot air is giving me a headache,� she said, indicating the court butterflies with a small smile.
He grinned, a smile of genuine warmth that startled her. �Why don�t we retire to my study? I have volumes I believe would pique your interest.�
To her immense shock, she found herself enjoying the evening in the company of this enigma. He was right, his library had much she would like to read, and they discussed many books heatedly until the early morning, before she noticed the pink sky at the window.
When she inquired � not flirtatiously, she thought desperately � what people would think if they saw her exiting his chambers in the early hours, he replied, �And do I give a damn?�
The next day, she was summoned to lunch � a very late lunch � with the King. She found herself not minding, especially as she had woken up to find a volume she had wished to read, but hadn�t dared to ask for, the night before sitting on her desk. The servant had said that King thought it would suit her.
Inside was a note telling Jodai that he had had an enjoyable evening, would she truly mind if it became a pattern?
She had been afraid he would think she was unladylike � it was a book comparing the theology of Tortall and the Carthaki�s. She had always been taught that men feared intelligent women.
He appeared conflicted for some reason when Jodai arrived to lunch. Jodai asked what troubled him.
�I�m afraid I face a difficult choice,� he said softly, apparently very interested in the heavy wood table. �My country requires it of �us�, but I loathe it.� He shook his head, looking up at her and taking his glass. The conflict in his eyes was more pronounced, and Jodai suddenly wanted a glaive or her Gift. She had the sudden feeling the King was not all he seemed.
�A toast?� he asked.
�What shall we toast to?� Jodai asked.
He smiled wickedly, but his eyes held message that she couldn�t decipher, one he was desperate to share. �Ah, ladies choice.�
Thinking, she suddenly knew what would hook him. �To many years of intelligent conversation and debate?�
He smiled, but his eyes were fraught with warning. �Perfect,� he said firmly, the vulnerable, pleading party in his eyes defeated. �To many years of intelligent conversation,� he said and drank deeply.
She knew it was her turn, and took a drink of the wine. It was heady, sweet stuff, a little too sweet for her personal taste. Why was it going directly to her head? Normal wine wouldn�t�
Jodai didn�t finish the thought as she slumped to the table in a drugged sleep.
Mindelan � three days after the battle
The darkness was deep, but the silence was deeper. It seemed unnatural to Kel, that so many people could be so quiet. All of Mindelan, the soldiers, the Own and the Riders had turned out in this field that had become a battleground. In the darkness, dressed in black, only pale faces were visible.
The flames from the pyre illuminated crying faces, people who had dry eyes but an expression of infinite pain, and those who simply seemed to be numb. The bodies of the men at arms and infantry had been offered to the fire, each one wrapped in a shroud and a blue flag. Each had received the same ceremony a noble would have, by the Baron�s order.
The nobles would be sent off as they had lived and died, by the side of the people they served. Their ashes would be given to the sea.
Each and every one � commoner or noble - would be remembered in a permanent memorial that would be built during the reconstruction. Anders wanted no one to forget the sacrifice they had made.
Kel stood with her family ranged around her. Lorientia, Inness� widow; Conal and Matana; then Jessia and Anders. Next, shoulder to shoulder, stood Kel and Dom, Kel had asked him to stay with her; Adalia and Keller; and finally, Oranie and Daimion. Her sisters were standing much as Kel was; close to those beside them without touching, faces blank, fighting not to show emotion. Kel�s nieces and nephews stood behind their parents, many weeping, but none cried out, not even the youngest.
When they brought in a shroud covered by a Mindelan flag, a wooden shield placed on top, Mattie supported Lorie for a moment. Lorie then brought her head up and took her daughter�s hand, who stood as tall as her mother. Her son took his mother�s hand, and the family held to each other as Inness was commended to the gods by a priest of the black god; gifted to the fire by the men at arms and his squire, Cleon of Kennan.
Kel almost fell, an acute ache building in her chest for her brother. Looking around, she saw Adie holding on to her sister and her husband. Orie held on to Daim with all her strength.
As the bearers took their place amongst the crowd, ten men at arms walked to stand before the pyre. �We give these swords as tokens of their sacrifice,� the priest intoned. �They fell in defence of the Lady, and their shells were taken by the enemy. Mithros, guard your warriors well.�
As each man threw a sword into the flames, the priest gave the name of the man, asking the God of Warriors to ensure their safety.
Anders passed Kel a Yamani glaive. It was wooden, and wrapped in a shroud of blue silk. The flags intertwined around it were the Mindelan crest and the Yamani insignia. Only the tempered steel blade with it�s blue dancing ripples was visible, but Kel knew the glaive. She had practiced against it�s wielder often enough.
Walking to the front of the pyre, she looked at the priest, feeling tears evaporate in the heat as they struck her cheek. Standing in front of the flames, she thought of her mother. �Goddess, we commend this lady into your care, who treated all with fairness and sought justice. Mithros, we ask that you shelter this warrior, who died for her people.�
Later, Kel would be astonished that a conservative priest had commended a woman to the God of War. But then, she simply allowed the glaive to fall from her shaking hands and somehow found the strength to walk back to her family.
Anders, Conal, Daim and Keller walked to the back of the crowd. Shrouded in the silk flag of his fief and of the Islands, they bore Baron Piers to the pyre. �Mithros and Mother, we commend this man to you. He was a warrior of the mind, creating harmony where chaos would reign, creating peace where war would ruin.�
As I watched them consign my family and those who had fought with them to the flames, everything but the flames and the silhouettes of those whom we said our goodbyes to was beyond my mind.
I knew it was not farewell, only an interlude until we met again, but that didn�t lessen the agony of losing them.
All I would ever remember was the final words of the priest, but I would carry them forever in my heart and my soul.
�Mithros and Mother, we entrust these souls to you. Take them into your arms, into the valley of the shadow where we may not follow. As you shelter and embrace them, we vow to nurture and defend the legacy they leave; to cherish and protect all that remains behind.�
As the flames grew, the only earthly light on the moonless night, Kel took Dom�s hand and watched the stars.
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