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Fanfic
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Lady Shang Keladry
Sorrel Rowan
Chapter Eleven: To Promise a Sorceress
�So now you know,� Kel said quietly. She had begun the walk back to the others, knowing now was the time Dom had warned her about - the time when Jodai would have to be told the truth, only to find Jodai standing against a tree, staring shock at the stars without seeing them.
�So now I know.�
�You could -�
�I won�t run away.�
�But what if-�
�I�m a princess, Kel,� Jodai stated firmly, only her eyes betraying her pain. She looked at the younger girl, looking her directly in the eyes. �I have a duty. You should know about duty, you face it every day. You fight and teach and heal, within your abilities. You fulfil your duty as a Shang, �a teacher of paths,�� she quoted softly.
Kel looked away, knowing she knew what duty was. Duty was teaching, day in day out, doing mundane and boring things and accepting this was her duty, that heroic things were all very well and good, but that there were more heroes to teach, that she would rather teach a hero than become one.
Her mind filled with her family and her people. Duty was being willing to sacrifice everything for your people, fight to protect them. Duty was when someone cared more for the responsibilities than the privileges that came with them.
She knew duty, had stared it in the face more times than she would have wished. They both knew it, the mage princess and the lady shang, who were so far opposite that they were similar, both having grown never knowing anything but divided loyalties, difficult choices and duty.
Jodai looked at her again, putting a hand on her wrist. �I will not abandon my duty to my people.�
Kel looked at her, puzzled.
�You are my sister, and so your people are my responsibility, too. I will not abandon them.�
They went their separate ways to their tents, not to sleep, but to lie awake.
Kel couldn�t bear it anymore by the time the night had fully deepened and got up.
She spent hours going through endless drills of unarmed combat, her body going so fast her mind had to work to keep up, forgetting everything but the next pivot, punch or kick.
Going through every move she knew, including flips and other things she shouldn�t have attempted on a river bank, took her over three hours. After that, she staggered to the nearby tree - the setting of her life - she thought wryly, and sank below it into dreamless sleep at last.
Kel woke up at false dawn the next day, when the world seemed coated in grey. She had imagined to come home, fight a battle as a warrior - not a commander - and to grieve. She was trained to teach, yes, but not to lead soldiers into battle! She was trained to independence, but the soldiers followed her.
She hadn�t expected the choices, the responsibility, the waiting or the pain every idle second caused her, even though she knew Mindelan was not being attacked, only held hostage for the moment.
What would she tell the King? She had a plan, yes, and it would work either way, but what about Jodanyai?
As the sky turned from grey to dusty pink with streaks of gold someone sat down next to Kel, interrupting her contemplation. Alanna sighed and looked at Kel.
�Everyone loses,� she said eventually. �People, homes� You�ve given more than anyone has the right to ask for. Giving you this isn�t fair, forcing you to choose which grief is the hardest isn�t fair. You wish you could just follow orders, and not have a conscience burdened with all the weight of the all the sand of the Southern Desert.�
Alanna said this with equal amounts of compassion, bitterness and sympathy. Kel looked at her, a lump in her throat, as she continued.
�We all face difficult choices at some point in our lives. It isn�t fair, but who said life is?�
Kel�s anger towards everything came to the fore, to be melted by white hot hurt and a pain that drove through her chest into her heart.
�Shit happens,� Kel said softly.
Alanna nodded.
�Its not the choice, it�s the consequences. And its not my choice anymore - she knows. Jodai knows, so its her choice now. It isn�t something I can tell her to do.�
Alanna got up, brushing her hands on her breeches. �You always have a choice.�
She put a hand on Kel�s shoulder, then said, �So does she.�
Kel walked through the camp purposefully. The atmosphere was edgy, they all sensed that the waiting would soon be over. They really don�t know how soon. She had just informed his Majesty of her plan, which he had approved. Now she had to talk to Jodai.
Outside of Jodai�s tent, she knocked on the wooden pole.
�Come in, Kel,� Jodai�s lilting voice called.
Kel came in and stood, leaning against the back of a chair. Jodai did the same on the other side of the tent. The silence was deafening.
Jodai began to speak. �Kel, -�
Kel cut her off. �No matter what, the choice is yours alone. And no matter what you do, I swear by the Black God and the Mother that I will find you and do all that I can to aid you.�
Jodai looked stunned. Then she recovered, stepping into the centre of the tent. �I swear that I will do all that I can to aid you, whatever my choice shall be, by the Mother and Mithros.�
Kel stepped up to face her, hazel eyes meeting blue. �So long as you keep faith with me, I shall keep faith with you.�
In unison, they whispered �So mote it be,� and clasped hands.
As their hands met, the sound was like a bell, resounding and echoing, seeming to anyone who heard it to last for much longer than it should have.
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