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Victim of a Hypocrite Just like the titanic, My spirit goes sinking. He says I make him sick, And it really gets me thinking. Am I not worth caring for? To everyone I�m just a whore. Everyone tells me to be myself But when I am, it�s bad for my health? You may speak with your mind, But your eyes show your heart To your own mind you are blind And good Lord, it�s tearing me apart. -------------------------------------------- Anti-Depressant I remember this feeling- of comfort and fearlessness, of happiness for no reason. It's better than my usual feeling- of paranoia and hopelessness, of sadness for no reason. I remember this feeling- I feel hyper and exhilarated, as if the feeling were real. It's better than my usual feeling- except it leaves doubt in my mind, because I know it's not real. I remember this feeling- but now it's man-made, a pill that I take to get me through the day. It's better than my usual feeling- and so I appreciate, but why can't I alone make the pain go away? -------------------------------------------- I Think I'm Drowning I think I'm drowning- slowly being pulled down into this world of useless hoping I hope and I wish and I pray, but nothing good enough comes my way I think I'm drowning- my thoughts of disappointment and insecurity are consuming my being entirely My expectations are so high, yet my standards are so low, and the more my life goes on does my disappointment seem to grow I think I'm drowning- yet now and then it seems only fair, a life giving breath-I'm allowed up for air Without those rare days of treasured happiness I'd have killed myself by now, and been rid of this mess
I think I'm drowning-
but I haven't forgotten how to swim
so for now I will fight but my future looks dim.
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Dead
I lay here dead - in soul - in heart.
My body still functions as my world falls apart.
I pray for the silence, I pray for peace.
I pray and I hope for the pain to cease.
Forever hurting, a pressure in my heart.
You clenched and you squeezed it, with no guilty thought.
My destiny, now, is to exist no longer.
I wish I'd been happier, smarter, stronger.
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To Be? Or Not To Be?
"To be or not to be?" That is the question.
But for a reason do that line I mention.
Just a famous line in literature.
Tis' nobler to die than to be in this torture?
To live in vain, or to die in vain?
Which decision entails more pain?
To be or not to be?
I have my answer, but do I dare take action in my query?
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Hypocrite
I say I�m one thing,
yet I am another.
I lie through my teeth to my own self.
I fear the word of God,
yet it brings comfort like no other.
I cry so damn often at my lack of emotional wealth.
I wish the skies would clear
and shine some light through.
Because my time on this world is long over due.
I wish I could go to that heaven up high
instead of being in this body,
living a lie.
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Impartially Dedicated to Leigh
I cry myself to sleep at night
and I cry myself awake in the morning
Every second my body shakes with fright
but it's like I can't move, I can't do a thing.
It hurts so much just to exist.
I can't stop crying, and I can't be happy.
All I can do is bite my lip and clench my fist,
All the while feeling extremely crappy.
I live day to day and do what's required of me,
On my spare time I cry.
If God is with me he's deaf and can't see.
It's like he just sits there and allows me to die.
I don't know what to do anymore,
It's become a chore just to live.
I wish people would just open their door
and realize what all I have to give.
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