You are seriously awesome! I don't want you to get a big head, but seriously, dude. YOU ROCK!!! Your website is just freakin' incredible! I'm sure that if I met you in person, you'd be just that cool. In fact, why don't you send me some money so I can fly to wherever it is you live. Or better yet, you should get your fans to pitch in to buy a car for me so I can visit you and give you props. Email your credit card number to [email protected] (yes, that is an actual email address). Congratulations on your far-extended fame.
Your #1 fan from
Shoshoni Wyoming (yes, that is an actual place)
What�s up? I very much appreciate your honesty. The fact that you have the scruples to speak the absolute truth, without regard for how big of a loser you will appear to be, really means a lot to me. I mean, come on. Everyone else already knows how great I am, but they are just too nervous to tell me. I mean how could you look at a website such as�.I don�t know�. www.geocities.com/punk4JC757 and not realize how freakin� incredible it is. But I appreciate that you realize that the degree of my awesomeness merits you letting me know, regardless of how dumb you look. And Fan, you look pretty dumb. But that�s okay. I would love for you to come visit me in person so that you can experience my awesomenitude in person, anyways. Here�s the problem, though: I don�t have a credit card. So here�s what I propose we do. Why don�t you take out a credit card (I hear interest rates are really low out there in Shoshoshonini, Whybother) that I can use. Then email me the credit card number and I will buy you a one way plane ticket to�.um�.Fargo, North Dakota �.cause �. ::snicker::�that�s where I live. Why one way you ask? Cause once you get there...err.....I mean here....you won�t want to leave anytime soon and then we�ll just buy another one way when I get tired of you. So anways, I�ll send you a one way ticket to Faaaaaargo and then when you get here I�ll pay you back for the plane ticket. That way everyone is Even Steven (I love that show) and you can go home and tell all your frie--....well.......family in Shoshoshonini that you got to meet Dear Jeff in person. Although I�m sure they�ll be able to tell simply from the glow that you will undoubtedly have. So just send me that credit card number and we�ll work it all out. Thanks a lot, Fan. Later.