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A Brief History Of Phroth
I Am A Total Porn Hound!
By John Lawless
R-Montgomery County
You may not know it by looking at me, but I'm like a lot of other guys. Sure, I may be free speech's greatest enemy in Pennsylvania, and I champion causes of supposed "decency" in order to protect Pennsylvania's taxpayers from obscenity, but that doesn't mean I don't love dirty, dirty porn.
Yes, it's true. I love porn. And not just a little bit. I love porn more than just about anything else out there. There's nothing that makes me happier than getting home from a long day at work and sitting down at my computer to download live streaming QuickTime videos of Hardcore Asian Cum-Sluts. That really makes my day.
You may be asking yourself if I am the same John Lawless who opposed the recent Cuntfest and Sex Faire at Penn State. Well, wonder no more. That was definitely me. I mean, come on, you and I both knew there were going to be some Busty Pink XXX Lesbian Sluts there. I beat myself everyday over missing the Cuntfest, but there was no way in hell I was going to miss the Sex Faire. And I just wouldn't be the legislative branch's greatest porn hound if I didn't bring along a camera crew! I was hoping I could get at least a few shots of what was going on inside of that Tent of Consent. Actually, I was hoping that some Live Teen Barely Legal Clit-Licking Whores would maybe consent to two minutes of pure pleasure with the Lawman, but oh well. That would have made quite the addition to my video collection!
| "I beat myself every day over missing Cuntfest, but there was no way in hell I was going to miss the Sex Faire." |
I don't know why people look at me like I'm a freak or something whenever I tell them that I always carry the latest issue of Club International to the Capitol building. That's what I'm all about. Pornographic publications like Penthouse and Playboy are terrible magazines that are degrading to women. No self-respecting man would ever read anything like that. I'll take a fine men's magazine like Hustler over that smut any day.
No, this doesn't mean that I'm going to give up my campaign to fully regulate speech and expression at Penn State on a content-based basis; I just wouldn't be a hypocrite if I did. The truth is, although I love Nasty Shaven Bestiality Whores, I really don't give a rat's ass about you. I really don't care about the people I represent, either. I just have an agenda. That agenda is to rid the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania of indecency. The whole marketplace of ideas can eat a big one as far as I'm concerned. There are certain ideas that I just do not want to see expressed, and I'm going to wage an all out war to make sure that nobody is exposed to an opposing viewpoint. But in the meantime, if you have any pictures of Anal Licking Black Beauties, I'd like to check them out, to make sure that they're uh, not obscene.
