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A Brief History Of Phroth
Love Blossons On Frat Dance Floor
"I knew it was love the second I felt his crotch grinding into my ass," says Keenan
By Jeff Rubin
"I knew it was love the second I felt his crotch grinding into my ass," commented Lauren Keenan (junior - park management), "I didn't even have to see his face. We just kept dancing to Who Let the Dogs Out and barking and I knew this was the one." Lauren is not alone. At State College, the place to meet dates is the beer stained dance floor.
Robin Mehler (sophomore - fashion design) had a similar experience Friday night. "I met Chet Davis on the dance floor and he was nothing but a perfect gentleman. He even invited me back to his room. It's probably good too, I would have never remembered his name if he hadn't mentioned it the next morning."
 Jason "Keg Dog" Sanders (second from left), shown here in a file photo, "drunker than an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day," last St. Patrick's Day. INSET: Some girl Sanders met at a party at his frat house. Irene! No, Irene had brown hair; maybe it was Kate, or was it Beth? Oh, I know, it's that girl from Sigma something, oh wait, no...aah fuck it. |
Sanders had his own story of love to tell. "This one time me and my brother Ryan did a 9 foot beer bong. I don't remember what happened after that, but I woke up with scratches all over my arms and my friends tell me me and Ryan were dancing with this girl from Alpha Sigma Sigma. It was fucking AWESOME."
Some have been more critical of the fraternity party system. Unpopular freshman Adam Mendelson commented "I don't get it. Guys don't want to dance. They only do it because they are intoxicated and think it'll give them a better chance at getting into some wrecked chicks $60 pair of Abercrombie ass pants. There has to be a better mating ritual then this. Don't birds have some dance they do or something?" When asked what he thought about this Keg Dog replied "I AM SOOOOOOO FUCKING GONE RIGHT NOW!" and smashed an empty can of Milwaukee's Best with his head.
"I wasn't meeting any cute guys," remarked Irene Mitchel (freshman - philosophy) while wearing a miniskirt in the snow "I had really low self esteem. Then my friends told me I just wasn't drinking enough. They were right. Before I knew it I was waking up in more guys rooms then I could believe! And two of them were even frat guys!"
