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�Road To Nowhere� Chapter 17: Running In Place Courtney was so afraid to let Dan open her heart. She was afraid of everything about him. He was caring and kind while she was not. She couldn't care less about what happened to the people around her as long as she was taken care of. Dan threatened to make her care. He exposed her to what really happened in the world. She hated him for that. She despised that he had the power over her. That when she was with him, she didn't think about herself. She couldn't stand that he had done that to her. It scared her to death that one single person could make her love the things around her and everything she took for granted. Dan shook her world upside down and had put it back together, more perfect than it already was. He reminded her of what she really was. And she hated the reminder. * * * * Dan's heart was overflowing with happiness. He loved Courtney so much, it hurt him. For a moment, he had seen in her eyes the love she had for him. Quickly it was erased by the tough girl attitude that she always wore. He knew that she didn't want him to know how much she cared. But he did know and he did care. He wanted her in his life. He would give anything to have her in his life. But it just wasn't happening. She kept pushing him further and further away, to the point of no return. He hurt for her, but more so for himself. He had been the fool to let Courtney fall for him. * * * * "The dance was pretty cool, huh?" Matt said to the group before school on Monday morning. "I had fun," Ashley contributed. "Me too," Josh, Chelsea, and Dan echoed. "Well we haven't heard from Courtney yet," Matt observed as the silent Courtney tried to avoid his comment. "So? I'm tired," Courtney said bluntly. Matt saw the struggle in Courtney's eyes. He saw the matched pain in Dan's. Their perfect happiness wasn't as obvious anymore. "Um, Dan? Court?" he asked lightly. "What?" Dan asked back, clearly surprised at Matt's sensitivity. "Is there something you'd like to share with the group?" Matt's brown eyes filled with worry. Dan looked at Courtney for reassurance. Her turned back gave him none. His eyes snapped to the ground. "No," he mumbled. By now it was evident that something wasn't right. Courtney's lack of interest and Dan's lack of answers said it louder than anyone could have ever said it. The group moved about uncomfortably and changed the subject bringing no objections from either Dan or Courtney. The two stayed out of the jokes and light-hearted conversation. The bell rang and as everyone scattered to his or her various classes, Dan and Courtney lingered behind. They glanced at each other. Within the glance was a battle to come to terms with themselves. Neither knew what they wanted from life. Dan wanted Courtney, but she didn't need him. Courtney wanted everything to go her own way leaving nothing to chance. Dan needed someone to tell him that everything would be okay when the fight got tough. Courtney needed someone who could really make her a better person. She needed someone who would never give up on her. Life had dealt them tough situations and both felt let down. Their gaze broke as the late bell rung. They turned and walked in opposite directions with chills running up and down their spines. They had seen into the other's soul but would never admit it. They felt as if they were going nowhere fast. * * * * "She's crazy in love with you." The words rang in Dan's head. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate his mind kept going back to the dance and Matt's words. Was he serious? Did Courtney really love Dan? Dan fought back the tears that were threatening his eyes. He was so confused about everything and so angry at the world. Everything happens for a reason, somebody once told him. He thought he had found the reason why he had gotten kicked out of his last school and moved halfway across the country. He thought Courtney was that reason. He must have been wrong. He would never tell anyone how Courtney made him feel when she looked in his eyes. When she leaned in for the kiss, when she smiled, or when she glanced his way thinking he didn't see. But he did. He saw every glance, every smile that formed on her lips and highlighted her cheekbones. Life was cruel. There was no denying that. What he wanted, he couldn't have. What she wanted, he couldn't give her. He was trying and it was killing him. Nothing he could do could make her feel for him what he felt for her. Chemistry dragged on, as did the rest of his classes. When the bell for lunch rang, Dan sighed. It was now or never. * * * *
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