A scientifically intellectual discourse, while necessitating considerably more research, is also considerably more straightforward. For example, take paleoanthropology. The most efficient way of gaining sufficient background knowledge is to glean an overview of the subject and then to concentrate on one specific time period or theme. Let’s suppose you choose the origin of bipedalism. The key is to ramble on and on and on ad nauseum in an enthusiastic, yet erudite, manner like so: “Hunt’s Postural Feeding Hypothesis states that the synapomorphic australopithecine postcranial morphology associated with bipedalism evolved to maintain energy efficiency while performing a repetitive feeding motion. Owen Lovejoy has criticized Hunt’s thesis on the grounds that many species of primate exhibit this behavior without developing obligatory bipedalism. Nevertheless, Hunt’s Hypothesis most parsimoniously accounts for the arboreal adaptations, frugivory, and mosaic adaptations of early hominids.” When asked about early humans, you can conveniently rattle off a daunting list of species names: Sahelanthropus tchadensis, Orrorin tugenensis, Ardipithecus ramidus, Australopithecus anamensis, Australopithecus afarensis, Australopithecus gahri, Australopithecus bahrelghazali, Australopithecus africanus, Kenyanthropus platyops, Paranthropus aethiopicus, Paranthropus robustus, Paranthropus boisei, Homo rudolfensis, Homo habilis, Homo ergaster, Homo erectus, Homo antecessor, Homo heidelbergensis, Homo helmei, and Homo neanderthalensis. See, it’s simple when you know your stuff.

Evidently, using “big words” reaps bountiful benefits. Not only is it a much more expressive mode of communication, but it stands as a marvelous method of scaring off that bothersome guy or girl at lunch who’s pestering you for your phone number, so that you may funnel your energies into pursuing that guy or girl you actually like. The possibilities are limitless. Enjoy!

       

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