Perfection
Author: babyblu It all began with a kiss, delicate and sweet. I closed my eyes, allowing the rest of my senses to vividly memorize the moment. The nearby scent of lavender slowly penetrating the air soothed me. The sound of waves crashing set a gentle beat parallel to the beating of my heart. His soft lips brushing against my own left me breathless. As we pulled apart, I exhaled, a delicate sigh escaping from my slightly trembling lips. I opened my eyes then, finding myself mesmerized by the deep brown of his soulful eyes. His lips parted as he bent down to whisper in my ear. �Wake up, you have work today.� �Oh, and don't forget to eat breakfast.� My mom yelled as I awoke grudgingly. The thought of ditching crossed my mind momentarily. However, as my first day, it would probably not have made the best impression. Pushing the thought aside, I slid off my bed and made my way towards the bathroom. As I walked, I impulsively brought my hand up to my face. I could still feel Hwanhee's kiss. I mentally berated myself. Here I was dreaming about kisses when I had work to go to. After a bit of luck, my parents had finally agreed to the idea of their little daughter under the employment list. Two months ago, an application for Caribou Coffee had been left in my room suspiciously in the middle of my SAT review books. �That's for after you take your SATs,� said my mom in a thick accent as she left the room with my dad trailing behind her. Translation: I could get a job after I studied every second of my existence minus the sleep time. I did what anyone would have done. I took the offer. The months flew by, the SATs flew by, and my social life flew by. However, I had become an official employee of Caribou Coffee with the plastic nametag to prove it. So why did I want to become a taxpayer so badly? Although it was true that it would have looked good on college apps, given me real-life experience not to mention pocket change, the part that caught my interest was its location on an overcrowded street (or as overcrowded as the suburbs got). If some good looking guys just happened to stop by, would it hurt to test out my flirting skills just a little? That last one was a comment I made sure not to make during my interview. The manager probably would have liked my motives as much as giving out free coffee to a packed house However, getting paid to meet guys was something I could get used to. Oh yea, did I mention that employees got free coffee every week? The idea of my first day at work put me in a good mood. If this lasted, I could be employee of the month within a week. I played with the idea as I made my way through the glass doors of the cafe. At that point, I was about ready to memorize the calorie content of the entire menu when a sight stopped me in mid-thought. There stood Hwanhee Hwang, the living definition of �fine gentleman� decked out in A/X clothing and a Caribou apron. I gasped noticeably. Realizing my mistake, I looked around. For once, I appreciated the noisy, irritable people currently sipping at their decaffeinated espressos. I was going to be working with Hwanhee, the object of my affections? This suddenly made my low starting pay worth it. A thought then occurred to me. Since when was Hwanhee ever short on cash? Realizing that I did eventually have to get behind the counter, I approached attempting calmness and normality. Without my noticing, I had already moved to a position within three feet of Hwanhee. I could almost smell his cologne. �Jen Kim?� I looked up. Had I been caught in my fanaticism towards Hwanhee? Slightly hovering above me was the person I recognized from the interview to be my manager, a slightly balding man in his early thirties. �Could you come in back for a second?� �Huh? Yea. Sure,� I answered as I started towards the back room. I looked around nervously. Had I been deemed as being too unusual to sport the Caribou logo? He couldn't already be firing me, right? The manager stopped sharply, causing me to almost run into him. �Here's your apron,� he said while tossing the black cloth with a Caribou logo at me Guess I wasn't being fired after all. �Brian already agreed to train you. Feel free to ask him if you have any questions.� �But aren't you the manager?� I wanted to add, but decided against it. It wasn't exactly like I was looking to get fired here. As he walked back out, I realized a slight problem. I had no clue who Brian was. My focus as I walked into the store had been set on Hwanhee Vision. For all I knew, Brian could have been some psychotic killer with a goatee. Besides, Hwanhee seemed to know what he was doing. It wouldn't hurt to ask the manager to switch my mini internship to be with Hwanhee. We could even get to be friends. Then afterwards, who knew? Something could happen, a spark maybe. Smiling to myself at the idea, I sprinted out of the storage room about ready to nag the manager for a switch Apparently, his idea of managing was dropping off an apron and pointing out an employee to stalk. By the time I ran out, he was nowhere to be seen. With no other choice, I took a spot behind the counter with the two other employees; one being Hwanhee, the other I presumed to be Brian. Just to be sure, I inched closer to take a quick peak at his nametag. �Brian Joo. No goatee.� �Did you need something?� I looked up towards the source of the voice. Brian Joo was now facing me with an eyebrow raised. �Oops. Did I say that out loud?� I asked apologetically. �I don't know. But you're kind of suffocating me here,� he said while taking a step back for emphasis. I didn't realize I had gotten so close. It must have been about time for new contacts. �What?� He continued with a grin. �You got the hots for me or something?� This was the guy assigned to be my employee role model? To think that I doubted the manager's leadership skills before, his mental stability was on a whole new level I wanted to reply with a witty comeback, something that would have left him speechless Only, nothing seemed to come to mind. Instead, I ended up shifting uncomfortably in my spot. �The manager told me you'd help me out?� �Sure,� he answered as his eyes wandered the room. I followed his gaze. There were only about two customers in line. �It gets packed later at night How long's your shift?� �I'm here until eight today.� �Alright. Just watch me for a day. You'll probably get the hang of it by then,� he said with a smile. I was starting to think that I had misjudged him. �Then again, that's just how I picked things up.� He paused to look me up and down while scratching the back of his head. �You might need a couple of days.� So that was why people always told me to trust my first instincts. However, before I could reply, Brian continued. �Not too quick, huh? That's cool. I was just born with it. If I were you I'd be jealous too,� he replied with a smirk. At that point, I felt a strong urge to place my hands around his neck and give a tight squeeze. �Get back to work Prince Charming, the customers aren't just going to disappear by magic.� I turned at the sound of his smooth voice. Hwanhee. �Alright alright,� mumbled Brian. �Besides, it wasn�t my fault. New girl here,� he said while pointing at me, �wouldn't leave me alone.� Hwanhee only rolled his eyes as he turned the blender on. �Okay then,� Brian said turning back to me. �Time to watch the master at work.� Note: the previous line was said with a straight face. I raked my hands through my hair as I followed him over to the counter. I had a feeling it was going to be a long day. By the second day of work, I was sure I had a pretty good handle on coffee-making. Although it was true that I had secretly taken notes the day before and had spent over two hours last night memorizing every detail, Brian would never know. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he saw me mixing each drink with a high level of expertise. �Wanna follow me for another day?� I watched Brian say with a smirk from the corner of my eye. �I'll try on my own.� �You're sure about that?� He looked skeptical. �Yea,� I said while walking away. Before I had gotten two feet away, Brian called me back again. �By the way Jen, what's up with your hair color?� After work yesterday, I had gone to get highlights in my already light-brown hair. �You look like the sun,� he said with a laugh. Ignoring him, I continued to the counter. There was no way I would give someone that arrogant the satisfaction of knowing that he had gotten to me. Within a minute, a man came in with a business suit and briefcase. Between cell phone calls, I heard him order a Chai Latte. Nobody ordered a Chai the previous day. I was screwed. After politely asking him to wait, I madly searched for Lisa, the other girl on duty for that shift. �Lisa's on break,� I heard the irritating voice of Brian Joo say from behind me. The name Brian Joo was ascending very quickly on my hate list. With a forced smile, I turned to him. �Brian, help me out?� The businessman was beginning to develop an annoyed expression as he waited. I heard Brian sigh. �Some people these days are so unappreciative.� I honestly considered quitting at that point and finding a new job. However, at the thought of all the trouble, my lazy side took over. Besides, Brian Joo wasn't important enough of a reason to quite a job. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- �Miss me?� I turned towards the counter and found myself staring into the laughing face of Hana Lee, the girl who had shared lunches with me since we were six. �Hey, Need some caffeine?� �As always. Think you can get me an extra-large mocha capp. with whipped cream?� I nodded with a smile while going back to mix the drink. Hana took a seat at one of the sofas. �Excuse me, miss?� I glanced tiredly over at the customer line. With a slightly rushed expression on her face was a sleekly dressed woman in her late-twenties. It was a Friday night and her hair had been done in a French bun. She was probably on her way to a non-dinner date. �Just a moment please,� I responded politely as I quickly finished pouring the mocha into a 20 oz. plastic cup before placing it on the counter for Hana. �How may I help you?� I asked with a smile plastered on my face �Can I get a double skim latte with a shot of vanilla?� �Not a problem.� �No wait, how many calories are there in a regular?� �Umm...� Good question. Too bad I had no idea what the answer was. In fact, she probably could have guessed the calorie content better than I could. �I�m sorry...I�m not really sure,� I replied in embarrassment She gave me a skeptical stare that seemed to say �how did they ever hire you?� �There's 129, miss.� I turned my head towards the source of the voice and found none other than Brian Joo. �Oh...I see. How about the skim?� �That's 91. However, if you�re looking for something with a low calorie content, a skim Capp only has 84,� Brian replied as he continued to ignore my stares. The woman didn't seem to notice. She was too busy staring at her watch. �I think I'll go with the Capp then. Thanks,� she said while digging through her purse for her wallet. After the lady paid and ran out, I looked over at Brian. He was already standing by a messy table with a wet cloth. �What did you think you were doing?� I yelled as I walked up to him. He turned towards me, surprised to hear me raise my voice. A combination of being tired and annoyed had made me edgy. �Look, I don't need you doing my job for me. You think you're some amazing guy who any girl would just die to go out with? You're just a dumbass. Leave me alone from now on, alright?� Brian stood there stunned. I brushed my way past him as I went towards the front door. �I'm taking five,� I shouted as I stormed out the door. I stopped at a park bench a block away. A slight wind blew against my face soothingly as I slumped back completely spent. I didn't mean to yell at him. However, before I could stop myself, the words came out. I had said what I truly felt. �Jen Kim!� Hana Lee was jogging up to me. �What happened to you? He didn't seem that bad.� �Would you believe it if I told you that this was the first time I felt like I couldn't control my anger?� I asked, more to myself than to her. A soft ticking from my watch reminded me that my time was limited. I still had a job to do. �Well, got to get back to work! I'll call you later.� I put on a smile as I started running back. I vaguely heard the sound of Hana's voice telling me to stop, but I continued. I wasn't in the mood for girl talk at the moment. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was already the second week since I started working that Hwanhee and I really got past the polite one-liners. It could have been that I was too quiet, or maybe vice-versa. Either way, I didn't really care. Being able to study his deep eyes from a close distance was enough for me. Of course I knew that there was more to a guy then just his appearance. Hwanhee had the personality to match. From what I had heard, Hwanhee was the perfect mixture of sophistication and sincerity. The things he had done for previous girlfriends was the talk of the school. Although I never had the opportunity to really talk to him, I had liked him since freshman year. Superficial? Tell that to the fifty other girls that were chasing him from my school Guiltily, I was just following the crowd. It had been a busy night. By the time the last customers cleared out, I was about ready to collapse into a sofa and go to sleep. There was only one problem to that. Although I had told everyone I would lock up, one person had stayed. I turned towards the door, catching Hwanhee lingering there. He was leaning gently against the doorframe His perfectly-styled hair, brown and golden, barely obscured his closed eyes. I approached with my bag and keys at hand. Had he fallen asleep? I almost didn't want to wake him. His sleeping form looked so peaceful. I unconsciously studied his face, his smooth skin, the long lashes that gave his eyes a soulful look and the soft lips. My hand moved to brush aside the hair in his eyes. He stirred, but did not wake. I touched him lightly on the shoulder, watching as he slowly opened his eyes. �Hey Jen,� he said while rubbing the sleep from his eyes. �Sorry I didn't help. I was kind of tired.� �Don't worry about it,� I replied with an awkward smile. �Did you need something?� �Actually,� he said while straightening up. �I was told that you might want some company.� �Oh?� I asked nervously. �And who told you that?� �Brian.� That one word was enough to irritate me. Why would he tell Hwanhee to stay with me? Although we would steal glances at each other occasionally, we had stopped talking ever since that time I yelled at him. Based on that, I had assumed he hated me. �I'm not sure why he did, but I don't mind. Do you need a ride?� I thought of my lonely car parked down the street, then of lonely Hwanhee driving down the street. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but I figured my car could last overnight. I would pick it up the next morning. �If it's not out of the way,� I said to be polite. �Don't worry,� he answered while opening the cafe door for me. His Mercedes was parked a short distance away. We walked in uncomfortable silence as every topic seemed to fall dead at our feet. By the time we reached his car, although I had covered every question from birthday to ideal job, none had lasted as a conversation starter. Luckily, there was one more question that still puzzled me. I waited until we had hit the road before asking. �Hwanhee?� �Hmm?� His eyes remained on the car ahead of us. �Why do you work? It's not for the money is it?� �The money's not bad to have, but it's mainly because my dad wants me to stay humble.� �Oh,� I replied somewhat disappointed. My last idea for a conversation starter had been covered in a shroud and buried. The awkward silence resumed its position. As we approached my neighborhood, I told him that he could stop, I would walk from there. My parents wouldn't have been too happy if they knew I had been alone at night with a boy in his car. Understanding my situation, he pulled over towards the curb. We waved goodbye as his silver car sped off into the distance. I wanted to kick myself for not being more of a conversationalist. Panicking about not having anything to say bugged me all night. I ended up being tongue-tied even in my dreams. Hwanhee as Superman had just saved me from the fate of plummeting down a twenty-two story building. Only, I couldn't say anything along the lines of �thanks� back. Feeling unappreciated, Super Hwanhee dropped me in the middle of the ocean, laughing at my efforts to swim back to shore. After being disturbed by the dream all morning during work, I was getting ready to go home and sleep it off. As I was about to leave, the real Hwanhee came in wearing the Caribou apron, ready for his shift. After I managed to convince myself that the real Hwanhee would never toss me in the ocean, my feet grudgingly took a few steps in his direction. Our conversation began stiffly at first, but then after five minutes, took a more casual tone. We went through the usual greetings, comments on the eccentric manager, then Hwanhee brought up prom. I froze like an icicle. Hwanhee continued about this girl that he was thinking about asking, but wasn't really sure how to do it. He needed a girl's opinion. I could almost feel the ice pick chipping away at my heart. �I mean, should I do something spontaneous and public...or do girls prefer a private dinner setting? I�m not too good at this.� I was shocked. I had assumed Hwanhee was the expert on these matters. Then again, he probably never did have to go after the girl. Girls seemed to flock to him like bees to honey. �Umm...� I cleared my throat to bring my voice to a more normal pitch. �I guess it depends on what kind of girl she is. If she's usually kind of quiet, then she might like the private setting better.� �Ah, I see.� He responded with a smile. �The thing is, I might really like this girl so I wanted to make it perfect. Thanks.� The ice pick jabbed in for a final blow. �Not a problem. Bye,� I replied with a wave. I walked to my car with my heart still crumbling behind me. With a sigh, I started the engine and sped out of there. The drive home was quick. I parked messily in the driveway and walked up the concrete steps to my front door. Inside, I was greeted with the day's mail. Amidst ads for chimney cleaning and pizzerias was a white envelope with the Caribou logo. I tore open the envelope and took out one of the papers. My eyes darted to the bottom of the page, ignoring the right hand side showing the SS, State and all the other reasons why Uncle Sam was taking away my money. At the bottom right hand corner was the number 213 in bold. With that much in two weeks, we would be talking mink coats by the time winter came. Whoever said money didn't soothe the broken heart lied. The weather the next day fit my mood perfectly, sunny and cloud-free. Although my classes were in general beginning to pile on the workload, I was feeling optimistic. As I exited the main entrance of my school, I couldn't help but notice an Asian crowd around an unfamiliar person in a big yellow T-shirt and baggy jeans with his back to me. Was he visiting someone? Out of curiosity, I approached the circle. �Christine...� I called out. �Who is...� my words faded as the unfamiliar person turned around. He grinned at the sight of my face. �Don't you remember, Jen? It's Brian Joo from freshman year,� I heard Christine say from my right. My eyes remained on Brian. He went to my school before? I couldn't remember ever seeing him before the Caribou job. Suddenly, snapping out of my trance, I turned and walked past him. I didn't want to have to deal with him right now. Before I had taken five steps, I felt a strong grasp on my wrist. Turning unenthusiastically, I found myself facing Brian Joo once more. �What do you want?� I asked limply. The scene caused a number of heads to turn. I wanted to hide under a rock at that moment. Brian, however, was taking his good old time while I wriggled in embarrassment. �Jen, are you doing anything next Saturday after work? If not, we could go catch a movie or something.� I was speechless. It had been weeks since Brian stopped talking to me and the first thing he did was ask me out on a date in front of dozens of people? Although I did feel guilty that I had been too insensitive with my words before, it wasn't enough guilt to make me engage in a non-platonic situation with Brian Joo. �I'm sorry. My parents are actually throwing a dinner party that night and my attendance is required.� Before I could hear his response, I had already slid out of his grasp and was walking quickly away. Breathing a sigh of relief for unbinding myself from that sticky situation, I turned back to take a quick glance Brian stood where I had left him. Feeling a slight tinge of guilt, I reminded myself that this was the same Brian who had picked on me relentlessly when I first worked there. It was the same Brian who out of nowhere, had attempted to involve himself in my relationship with Hwanhee. I repeated in mind like a broken record, that it was the same obnoxious Brian Joo. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another paycheck came in the mail that morning. Feeling the need to share my happiness and wealth, I called Hana up for a quick bite. She suggested we meet at Joy Yee's I agreed happily. Although the food was only average, the place and the Boba did always host an interesting crowd. Twenty minutes later, I was parked and already walking into the busy restaurant with my eyes out for a tall Korean girl with short hair. Spotting her at the corner table, I weaved my way past waiters and tables towards her. We ordered, but judging upon the size of the crowd, it would be about a half-hour wait. During that time, we did the usual catching up and complained about how we never saw each other even though we met up almost once a week. Then somehow, the topic veered towards the subject of my nonexistent love life. She told me that my existence to date without a boyfriend had nothing to do with my appearance It was my personality. My mouth dropped. Her name was officially going on the block list on my AIM. Feeling a killing aura around me, she quickly added that I was just too picky when it came to guys. Picky? So that meant I was single by choice. That was something I would have to believe and live by. I could admit to rejecting maybe two or three guys, but I felt the decisions were justified. If a guy preferred to show his Russian pride by strutting down the halls in the Russian Communist uniform, I had the right to some protest right? �It's not that I'm picky. It's just that no normal guys have ever liked me.� The line came out before I could stop myself. The true sadness of that statement did not sink in until two seconds later. �What about that Brian guy from work?� My eyes narrowed at the mention of his name. �I said normal, a.k.a. without issues.� �I don't see what's wrong with him,� she reasoned back �The question isn't what's wrong with him. It's what isn't.� �Oh come on. This is why you can't get a good relationship going. Brian seems nice, smart, good-looking...� From the way she was describing him, he could have been a saint. �More like conceited, decent-looking dumbass,� I said. �Oh come on, he�s not that bad. Besides, he likes you right?� �What are you talking about? The guy just enjoys messing with me,� I said truthfully. I had decided since the time Brian asked me out, that it was just another one of his games. He wasn't being serious. For some reason, he enjoyed his habit of getting on my nerves. �Didn't seem like it from where I was standing. I saw the way he was staring at you. Go on a date with him, I'm sure he'd say yes.� �No,� I replied with complete finality. �Why? You want to end up a wrinkled old woman who lives alone with a bunch of cats?� That was one scary thought. Not the cats, cats I could deal with. It was the first part that caught me. Ever since I watched the movie, About Schmidt, the image of me being wrinkled, old and alone brought chills down my spine. �Alright I'll go already. Just leave me alone.� Hana danced in victory. One date couldn't be so bad. Worse case scenario would be that I killed him. Even if that were to happen, at least I would never have to see his face again. The next day at work, I casually brought up the movie. �Yea, so about that movie... � Okay, so maybe it wasn't that casual �My plans on Saturday were cancelled. If you're still up to it...� I trailed off. He caught the hint. �Yea, sure. I'll pick you up at seven?� �Seven works for me,� I said, quickly turning back to the Turtle Mocha I was blending. It wasn't going to be a big deal. It was just one night, I repeated to myself. It meant nothing to him, so that would be how I treated this However, as the date inched closer, I began to feel a sense of dread. It was already Friday The date was less than 24 hours away. I had no idea what he was planning, but the fact that he would be there was enough to make me dislike the idea with an increasing annoyance. Did I really want Brian Joo to be my first date? Throughout the past few years, the reason I had rejected any date at all was for the reason that the guy just wasn't special enough. Here I was, practically begging for one with a guy I didn't even like, could barely tolerate even. What the hell was I doing? There was no way I could go through with this. I picked up the phone and dialed work. To my surprise, the manager picked up. �Hi. This is Jen Kim. I was wondering if you had the number for Brian Joo?� �Brian? Let me check.� I heard the receiver hit the table. After a minute, the manager picked up the phone again. �Hmm... it says �none� in the space for phone numbers, but I could give you the address.� �That would be great. Thank you.� He didn't have a phone? What century was he living in? He was going to make me drive all the way over there just to break a date. �Here, it's...� I quickly jotted down the address that followed That was strange. I had never heard of that street before. Logging onto MapQuest, I quickly typed in my location followed by his. A map with a star in the middle of Ghetto Downtown showed up. What the hell? I took a quick glance at the clock It was nearly 9:00PM. Driving down there would take about twenty minutes assuming that I didn't get myself lost. Although I could admit to being pretty harsh at times, I knew that if you were a decent person, you didn't break a date the day of. With a slight grunt of annoyance, I got up from the computer Stopping by the kitchen, I told my parents a friend needed a ride. Then, grabbing my keys and cell phone, I accelerated out of the driveway. By the time I arrived, half an hour had already passed. There didn't seem to be that many cars driving on his street. The only cars I saw were parked in front of the crumbling apartment buildings. However, I doubted the rusty Fords could still run I parallel parked my car in a fairly secluded area out of habit. The apartment was located directly next to a Metra station. Taking out the scrap of paper I wrote the address on, I entered a brown brick building. As I ascended the stairs in quick bolts, a tattooed man who was fairly large for an Asian was making his way down It suddenly struck me that I could die down here. If that ever happened, I swear I would haunt Brian Joo for eternity. I stepped aside to let him pass before continuing up. On the third floor, I saw apartment number fifteen. I had reached my destination On the left side of the door was a doorbell that had evidently been knocked out of the wall. With a sigh, I banged on Brian's door. I heard the shuffling of feet and the door opened a minute later. There stood Brian Joo, wearing only boxers and scratching his shoulder lazily. �Hey,� he said naturally, like I'd been dropping by his place for years now. I couldn't help wondering if he always answered the door in his boxers. �Come in.� Leaving the door open, Brian plopped down onto the couch. I shifted my weight nervously from one leg to the other before finally taking a step into his apartment. His place was fairly clean for a guy. I only saw an occasional shirt littered on the floor. �So Brian...� His eyes stayed glued to the TV screen. I glanced towards it. Playing was a tape of Dragonball Z. I turned back towards him. He was still sitting comfortably in his boxers, munching on a bag of Lays. �Want something to eat?� He asked in-between mouthfuls. I looked at the assortment of king-size chocolate bars, the bags of Lays in each flavor and was that ramen? �It's okay,� I replied. It was frightening how much that guy could eat. �Yea, so about that date,� I said, quickly getting to the point. The word �date� caught his attention. He stood up stiffly and turned off the TV. �I don't think I can make it. It turns out a friend of mine from New York is flying in and...� �It's cool. I understand,� he said looking down towards his feet Why did I feel like I just took away a lollipop from a sick little boy? He smiled, except for it was one of those, �I'm going to die, but I'll be happy for you� sort of smiles. Oh he was good. He was very good �Just kidding!� I said with a forced laugh. �I just wanted to see how you'd react, wanted to make sure you were serious about this date. You should have seen the expression on your face.� He looked up at me with a bright smile. It could have just been me, but I thought I saw a tinge of triumph in that smile. With a quick goodbye, I trudged all the way to my car, restarted the ignition and sped home in failure and frustration. My doorbell sounded at seven on the dot the next night. I brushed up on the forced smile I had perfected in the mirror before running to open the door. With my eyes on the lookout for parents, I opened the door and pushed out who I assumed to be Brian The door shut behind us with a soft click. There was no need for my parents to see him; it was better having them assume I was out with a girl friend. I turned around, expecting Brian in his usual bum gear. Instead, I found a smoothly dressed Asian guy in a white long sleeved button-up and khaki pants. He smiled charmingly �For you,� he said while pulling out a single white rose from behind his back. �B-Brian?� I stuttered out in shock. Not to be rude, but I had always assumed it would take a miracle to make Brian dress up. �What?� He asked with a laugh. �Do I look that good?� �Umm...� I could feel my cheeks burn up. Was I blushing? �You...you look nice.� �You mind if we take your car? I kinda took the train here.� It was so close to being perfect. He just had to break the moment by saying that. Couldn't he have thought of a better way to word it? Babo. �Yea, sure� I replied as I led him to my Civic. I waited until he sat buckled in the passenger seat before taking off. �So where am I driving?� �Here, take a right at the next light.� I turned. �Alright, now take the expressway south until you hit Fulton.� Were we going to his apartment? If that was his idea of a date... �Alright now pull up next to the Metra station. Just park anywhere.� There stood the brown brick building where I met Tattoo Man the night before. Great. I flashed my practiced smile as we climbed the stairs. It took Brian five minutes of fumbling with the key before the door grudgingly came unlocked. Brushing past me, Brian said something about changing before disappearing behind his bedroom door. With a shrug, I sat down on the sofa. He cleaned the room, I noted mentally as I looked around. �If you're thirsty, there's some drinks in the fridge,� I heard Brian yell through his bedroom door. Deciding that I was, I slid off the sofa and entered the small, peeling kitchen. The refrigerator was bare with the exception of a cold turkey sandwich and a few Pepsis. I reached for a Pepsi and pushed gently on the back of the refrigerator door. As the door gradually swung close, I came face to face with the massive tattooed Asian man I had caught a glimpse of the night before. The Pepsi bottle fell from my hand. It was like one of those horror movies where the killer had been behind the girl all along, but she didn't realize it until it was too late. The thought, �oh shit, I'm gonna die,� repeated through my head. �B--Brian?� I called, finally finding my voice. Tattoo Man continued to stare at me with intimidating eyes. �Brian!� �What happened?� Brian rushed out of his bedroom, shirt still only half on. My eyes remained fixed on Tattoo Man as he grunted and walked out of the apartment I patted my chest, attempting to slow my breathing back to a normal pace. �Who was that?� I asked, still jarred from the encounter. Brian pulled his other arm through the shirt and picked up the bottle I had dropped. �That would be my roommate,� said Brian as he placed the Pepsi back in the refrigerator. �You live with him?� My voice had become hysterical. �How did that happen?� Brian laughed �We used to work together.� �Brian,� I paused, scared by my own thought. �Were you a gangster?� �No, why?� I breathed a sigh of relief. �Just a thought.� �Come on,� said Brian while taking my hand in his. �I have a surprise for you.� With that, he pulled me gently in the direction of what I remembered to be his bedroom. �Ugh...Brian?� I asked, pulling back slightly. �Don't worry. I'm not gonna try anything. It's just that my room looks nicer than the rest of the apartment.� Reassured, I allowed him to pull me through the open door. Brian wasn't lying when he said that. His room was beautiful. There were no fancy light fixtures, expensive stereo systems or anything ornate. Its beauty came from its pure simplicity. The bare walls had a fresh coat of white paint, the furniture was sleek metal, and long white curtains were blowing in a soft wind. I approached the window, entranced by the view. Outside in the distance was the downtown skyline, hundreds of lights illuminating the dark blue sky above. �Hungry?� I turned at the sound of Brian's voice. He sat comfortably on the wooden floor. �Yea, have any food other than that turkey sandwich?� I asked half-seriously as I made my way over to him. As I neared Brian, I noticed two plates on opposite sides of a covered dish. �Up for some pasta?� With a smile, Brian uncovered the center plate, revealing a dish of Fettuccini with chicken. It smelled good, I noted as I sat down across from Brian. �Ladies first.� Picking up the fork from my napkin, I brought a small portion of the pasta onto my plate. Then, winding a few strands around the utensil, I took a bite. �Where'd you get this?� I asked with my mouth still full, but not really caring. �It's really good pasta.� �Made it,� he replied with a proud smile. I was at a loss for words. �What?� He asked, mistaking my expression for fear. �I didn't poison it if that's what you mean.� I laughed as he piled most of the Fettuccini onto his own plate and took an exaggerated bite to prove his point. �Who knew that Brian Joo could do more than just eat?� �Aish... it's all about versatility.� I felt so relaxed at that moment, more so than I had been in weeks. Who knew having the wind in my face while watching Brian eat could be so soothing. However, by the time I was finished eating my small portion, Brian was already done with his third helping The plate was empty. He leaned back against the foot of his bed, fully satisfied �The movie,� he said suddenly standing up. �It's at 8:30.� We had only five minutes. Stuffing his wallet into his pocket, Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We raced down the empty stairway until we reached my car. Both of us were panting hard by the time we were in the Civic I revved the engine and sped down the street. We entered the dark theater ten minutes later as the last of the previews rolled by. When the movie started, the smell of popcorn wafting towards me made my mouth water. I nearly considered getting up and buying an extra large bucket. However, a reminder of the high movie theater prices and my dwindling cash supply kept me rooted to my seat. I tried to focus on the movie, but thoughts of popcorn continued to resurface An hour later, my stomach was growling in complaint. The only noise louder, was the sound of snoring coming from the seat to my right, where Brian was sleeping soundly. Under the irritated glare of other moviegoers, I tapped Brian on the shoulder . Brian stirred before opening his eyes with a yawn. He stared at me with a confused expression. Then as he looked around, the realization hit him that we were still in a movie theater. I motioned for us to go. �Sorry, I didn't sleep last night.� Brian apologized as we exited the main entrance. �How come?� I questioned curiously. Brian scratched the back of his head. �I was kinda excited about today.� My eyes turned into saucers. �You're kidding.� Brian averted my eyes Oh my God, was he serious? I reached for my car key completely astounded. �Wait, you mind if we walk around a little? I think I ate too much,� he admitted with a hand on his stomach. I nearly burst out laughing. �Sure,� I replied. Brian had eaten too much? I guess that disproved my theory that his stomach was a bottomless pit. At that point, my own grumbled again in dismay. �See, that's why you shouldn't have hogged the pasta.� �I was starved, you saw my fridge.� �Save it,� I said, sticking my tongue out as I walked ahead of him. He jogged to catch up, mumbling complaints as he did so. �Umm...� I began as we turned a corner. �So why'd you change?� �The other clothes were just to make an impression. It was too uncomfortable to wear Guess I�m just not cut out for it,� he admitted with a sigh. I turned to look at the big red T-shirt and baggy jeans he now wore. �It's okay. I like this better on you.� He stared at me strangely. �You�re kidding, right?� �What?� I asked. It was the truth. It felt weird seeing him dressed up like all the other Asian guys at my school. Then again, why should it have been? He did go to my school up to Sophomore year. �Brian...why did you move away?� I asked casually. Noises from the downtown traffic covered the silence we now shared. As we walked around the downtown high-rises, I couldn't help but feel a sense of solemnity penetrate the air. It was starting to get cold. I rubbed my bare arms to warm myself. Brian stared at the sidewalk a couple feet ahead of us. �I didn't have a choice.� I turned at the sudden sound of his voice. �My mom died two years ago.� I wanted to kick myself for bringing it up. �I'm sorry.� �Don't worry about it.� Brian reassured me with a genuine smile The reason why he had to leave the suburbs was since his mom died? So it hadn't been his decision to suddenly pack up and go downtown. Then again, remembering the condition of his neighborhood, why would anyone live there if they had a choice? �Brian, what about your dad? Couldn't you have gone to live with him?� �He remarried when my parents got divorced seven years ago.� Brian paused, kicking at a random rock on the sidewalk. �He wasn't too happy to see me. I can understand. The man had a new family already, a new life. I was a reminder of his past.� I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to not be wanted by my family. To be honest, there were a lot of things dealing with Brian that I couldn't imagine happening to myself. I had known I lived a sheltered life, but for the first time, I felt the realness of those words. I guess it was true that you didn't really see how good you had it until you met someone less fortunate. �Is that why you looked for work up there?� I asked gently. Brian thought over the question for a minute before answering. �Yea, I sorta wanted to see what my life would've been like if I could've stayed. Besides,� he added with a grin. �I've worked there for almost a year now. My pay's getting pretty high. If I got another job, I'd have to start all over again from the bottom.� A sudden curiosity hit me at that moment. �Brian, how much do you make?� I asked, prodding him in the arm. �Not telling you,� he replied secretively. I couldn't believe he was going to hide something so insignificant from me. �You're kidding.� �Nope.� He replied lightly with a shake of the head. Here I was making only $6.50 an hour while he could have already broken the eight dollar line. Life was truly unfair. We fell into a soothing silence after that, both lost in our own thoughts. The night air felt cold against my skin. As I looked up towards the black-blue sky, the moon, a sprinkle of stars, I couldn't help shivering slightly. Although the temperature was cooling, it was still a beautiful night. �I used to know a man,� I heard Brian start. I turned to look at him. He had a thoughtful look on his face. �He would walk around these streets alone every night.� �What happened to him?� I asked curiously. �He became very lonely,� Brian turned to me then with a gentle smile. At that moment, the breeze decided to pick up strength. A few strands of hair flew across my face As I reached up to pull my hair back, I felt his hand brush against my face. I looked up at him slightly stunned. Gently, he placed the loose strands behind my ear. His hand rested on the side of my face as our eyes connected. His warm brown eyes took my breath away. For some unknown reason, I felt myself being pulled towards Brian. My eyes closed as I leaned closer until I could feel his breath, warm against my lips. Then gently, his lips brushed against my own. �Hey! Watch it!� I broke apart from Brian as a middle-aged drunk man knocked into us. Did I just kiss Brian Joo? I touched my lips unconsciously. His kiss still lingered. �We should be getting back.� The sound of Brian's voice brought me out of my thoughts. �Y-Yea,� I answered unsteadily as I followed Brian in the direction of my car. Neither of us spoke as I started the car and pulled onto the road. We sat like that the entire ride, in silence, listening to the sound of the wind blowing through the open windows. Did I have feelings for Brian? I wasn't sure Everything was just happening so quickly. I still needed time to think things through. I stopped the car in front of his apartment. Brian stepped out, but instead of going inside, turned back. �Can you come up for a second? I have something I want to give you.� I nodded my consent and shut off the engine. Brian waited for me before starting towards the front door. I followed his steps up the flights of stairs. He paused outside his door. �Wait here.� He came back a second later with a package neatly wrapped in light blue paper. I eyed him curiously �Open it.� He said while handing the package to me. I cautiously undid the tape and pulled away the paper. In my hands lay a small white box, which I opened to find a stuffed Pucca. �Umm...� I suppose I never did get into that trend. The black and red doll with the large eyes looked odd to me. Then, realizing that Brian was still waiting for a reaction, I quickly put on a cheery smile. �Thanks, it's nice.� �Sorry...� he apologized guiltily. �I just thought...� �No, don't get me wrong! I like it!� I insisted forcefully. He cracked a smile at my attempts. �I should have known... you're different from other girls, you know that?� I could feel my cheeks heat up. �Well, I'll see you later.� He said as he turned to go back inside. �Wait, Brian!� He turned back to face me. �I think I like you,� I admitted before I could think it through. Brian looked as if he was going to say something, but then stopped himself. Wordlessly, he smiled at me before turning away again. I watched as the door gradually closed in front of me. He had shut me out. There was nothing I could think of to do but stare at the closed door Why did I say something so stupid. It was just supposed to be a casual movie anyways Damn it. Tears of frustration formed in my eyes as I turned and walked down the stairs. My mind was numb by the time I reached my car. I paused before starting the ignition and let my head rest against the steering wheel. The tears were so close to falling. What the hell was wrong with me? There was no way I could have liked Brian Joo. So why did I say something like that? With a sigh, I turned the key and drove home with Pucca in the passenger seat. The next morning I awoke from the sound of rain on my window. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and stared at the blurry ceiling above me. As I laid silently on my bed, the rain continued to fall. I turned my head to watch it streak my windows. Was Brian watching the rain now too? I berated myself mentally for thinking of him again. Although I knew it was ridiculous, childish even, it was the only way I knew how to deal with it. Maybe it was because of the rejection, but for some reason, it hurt to think of him. My head hurt right then. With a sigh, I sat up and stared at the blurry numbers on the alarm clock. Narrowing my eyes slightly, I made out the numbers 10:04. In an hour, I would have to be at work. Languidly, I slid off the bed and headed towards the bathroom to wash up and put in contacts. My hair was still wet when I entered through the glass doors of Caribou. It felt cold. Although I had taken a shower, my head still felt drowsy. It was like the first day again with just me, Hwanhee and Brian. Then again, it was completely different. Wordlessly, I put on my apron and took my place behind the counter. I saw Brian take a step towards me and then pause. Not wanting his pity, I turned towards Hwanhee. Page 1/ Page 2/