Let me start this wicket shit out by saying that in no means do I mean to offend any of the idiotic morons I am writing about. You may all be worthless dirty monkeys with crusty shit stains on your pimple covered asses, but I'm simply telling the truth up in here! Well, the term "dunder" dates back to The Three Stooges. I know this 'cause I saw the episode where Moe was beating the fucking shit outta Curly 'cause he shot him in the ass... but now I've gotten off track, so let me get back to the point.
By the way, the guy in the monkey suit in that episode may be the fucker who dropped "gigantor" in the BAM toilet, but that is another story that is available at Bethy's website so check that shiznit out!!
I can't seem to find a dictionary so I guess the only definition I'll give you is nothing. You must live Dunder to understand it. It is an entity that changes the people who experience it for life. The first Dunder was Will. Will just got outta the big house and he happened to run into Adolf Dunder who really isn't that important so I will skip his sorry Commi-Hitler loving ass for right now.
Anyways, Dunder would spend hours wandering the store and finding places to hide. When someone would announce "William to customer service" he wouldn't show up and then two hours later we would find him at Taco Bell which also happened to be one of his later jobs where he accidently covered his hand in sour cream and stared at it for 10 minutes and couldn't seem to grasp what had happened even though Eric (or E-Dog as I call him) handed him a napkin and explained to him that he had put his hand in sour cream and needed to wipe it off!
There are so many stories with Will but I will have to tell you another time since I have to get the last two dunders. Next is Kristian! Kristian is a different kind of dunder. Kristian was the kinda dunder that made you want to grab his face and smash it against the counter until his teeth were embedded in the back of his brain. He was a snob of GIGANTIC proportions. (And no, I am not talking about the turb, but some people dont think there is much difference between Kristian and the stinking piece of human shit at the bottom of a filthy toilet.)
He would constantly flirt with the girls in the cafe. He would play manager even though he has as much authority as the bird poop that will forever stain the front of the store. He screwed the managers out of their bonus and wouldn't stop harrassing Sheri about the cafe door. He did make one mistakes that you don't make at BAM, and that is crossing Beth. I made this exact same mistake, and that would be titled "The Dust Pan Incident". In fact, I am working on that story!! The list goes on and on, but I think I you've got the point with Kristian. Let's hope he stays far away. On a funny note, when the "K" man was fired he stomped like a little baby to his car and grinded up the motor.
The latest Dunder is John. Where do I begin? Well let's see... he lies about everything. He told us he is from the Bronx, he surfs in hurricanes, he has a doctor at WalMart, he knows kung fu, he did a back flip off of Corey's garage when he was drunk and landed on his back! He also talks in third person. He wanders away from the register and gets in fights with Becky. He's a leprechan! And most importantly he's got snot-voice. I can't wait until the next Dunder arrives. In fact, it could be ther person who is reading this right at this moment! Well that's another chapter closed in the book of Dunderism. |
