How might you change your emotions toward your worries? The first way is to
write them down. Carry a pencil and a small pad with you throughout the day.
When you begin the noisy worries, write down your exact thoughts. If you
continue worried thoughts, keep writing. This doesn't mean a summary of what
you said in your mind. This means a verbatim transcript of exactly what
you're thinking. As soon as you finish writing down the worry, if you think
it again, write it down again, even if it's verbatim what you just wrote
down. Don't write down the theme, write down every single repetition of every
single worried thought.
Another way to begin changing your emotional response to your noisy worries
is to sing them. (OK, stop laughing and let me explain.) Pick up a short
phrase that summarizes your worry. Ignore its meaning for a while. Continue
to repeat the words, but do so within a simple melody. Keep up this tune for
several minutes. Whenever you feel you are less emotionally involved with
these thoughts, let go of the tune and the words. Turn your attention
elsewhere.
Remember that the principle behind these techniques is that your are
disrupting a thought pattern that is unnecessary, irrelevant and intrusive.
You first declare that these worries are noise, then you intervene with one
of these techniques. The primary benefit of these two techniques is to change
your emotional response to the thoughts -- to help you feel any other emotion
beside anxiety.
Write down your worries
Now what's the benefit here? When you worry, you tend to repeat the same
content again and again, right? When you write down the worries, you
recognize how repetitive and senseless they are. This perspective quiets the
noise. After a while you will probably experience the task -- of writing
verbatim all the content -- as a chore. Most of us know how easy it is to
mentally repeat some worry, like, "I hope this (whatever) turns out." It's
easy to say it in your head 400 times. It's a lot harder to write over and
over again, "I hope this turns out. What if it doesn't? Gosh, I hope it turns
out. But what if it doesn't?" There's no way you can write it 400 times . . .
it loses its power. Writing it down makes worrying into an arduous task. It
becomes more work to actively worry than to let it go.
That's how the writing will help you. After several extended writing sessions
you are more likely to say, "OK, I'm worrying. Now I'm either going to start
writing it, or I'm just going to let it go. I can either go through all the
bother of writing these worthless thoughts, or just stop worrying right now."
One special note: Don't wait until you want to do this task. Few people are
ever in the mood to write out their worries. Start this and other
interventions because you are ready to get stronger, regardless of your mood
or interest.
Sing a worried tune.
That sounds pretty silly, doesn't it? Here you are, suffering from very
distressing thoughts, and I ask you to hum a few bars. But that's the idea.
The process of singing your worries makes it difficult to simultaneously stay
distressed. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it sounds childish.
Do it anyway!!
I don't expect that you will start singing this little tune and instantly
feel happy. In fact, it will probably be hard to feel anything but anxiety
when you start singing. But stick with it. And while you're singing, work to
become detached from the content of your song. Remember, that's our goal.
Retained from List Member Jan