What do you want?
I can be that too
tlc 4-13-99
Day by day I hear them
All the days I lie
In a window by my bed
I hear the world go by
tlc 6-99
Welcome to my wonderland
the place where I reside
Where up is down and down is up
and no need here to hide
My world is such a special place
real rules don't apply
In here it's always safe and warm
my abode until I die
No one knows
that where I stay
And rarely do I ever let
someone in to play
For people do not understand
how it is with me
And so I leave them all alone
and hope they let me be
- tlc 1-17-01
- Mike 11-18-00
- Krista
i've cried enough to fill an ocean
the ache inside me still grows
this is the pain of heartlessness
this is the feeling of a dead soul
each day, a little more of me is chipped away
one day, i'll merely be a brittle husk
then, when it is much too late
he'll reach out to me
touch me finally
and stare as i crumble into dust
- Joni
- Joni
I know you haven't heard from me in a long time. Well, there is a good reason. You see, it wasn't that I wasn't around. It was that you were too busy for me. You got so wrapped up in the things of the world, that you stopped answering the door each time I knocked. When I would call, you were always too busy to talk just now. So,instead of bothering you, I stood nearby and waited for you to call on me.
Do you remember when you were six? That pretty bottle of
pills that mommy left too low? Remember how much you thought they looked like candy and when you asked me if you could have them, how I said no?
Or what about the time when you were twelve and your mom was crying because dad wasn't home again. Do you remember how tempting that razor blade looked? How you felt that the pain would only last an instant and that it would be a quick way out? When you told me it would be for the best, do you remember me telling you no?
And then there was the time you turned twenty and decided to get married. Do you remember how I sat on the bed next to you, as you told me how he would change. Once you got married, he wouldn't hit you anymore. Once you got married, he wouldn't lie. He wouldn't yell, or threaten to be with other girls. He would be yours alone and that ring would make everything better. Do you remember me telling you no?
I guess that was when you started to shut me out of your life. I guess you got tired of me telling you no. Occasionally, you would listen to me, but it was never like before. I guess that being a 'grown-up' you felt that you didn't need to hear from me any more. The distances grew, and like all things, eventually the silence became the norm.
When he came home all upset, you would sometimes call me and tell me that it was just the stress. His job, the baby, the lack of sleep. All of these was why he yelled at you. He didn't mean the names he called you. You didn't hear me when I told you no.
Well, now you are listening to me again. You have questions you want answered. Will you be waking up soon? Will your kids be okay? Will you be able to go to school with your boy soon or see your daughter off on her date? I am sorry my Angel Girl, more sorry than you can ever know. For again my answer to you must remain, a quiet, regretful no.
You see, that man that said he would change, hurt you very bad last night. I know you thought he never would. He was past that, you told me several times. But last night he lost his temper and he hit you a little too hard.
And now, my Angel Girl, I am here to take you home. How I wish that I could take you back to when you still listened to me. I wish I could have saved you from this. But I couldn't.
So, take my hand, Angel Girl, let's go home.
Sincerely,
(By David Caudill - copyright 2000)
Your Guardian Angel
I am confused
How do you stop loving someone
Why am I so stubborn
I just know in my heart
I feel I am stuck in one place
He tried so hard to ignore me
The end is where
Christine Lyons 29/3/01
I have all these feeling inside of me
I don�t know what to do
Oh why can I not let go
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That you thought was your life
How do you move on
When they are still part of you life.
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When I know it no good
They don�t love me the way that they should.
Why can I not let go
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It�s not the right thing to do
Am I kidding myself
Why hang on
Why do I always hope
That something will happen
And he will love me again
Going round and round
One minute thinking I have got over it
Then something happens again
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Thinking I would go away
But he�s stuck with me
To the end
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How do I know
I just want to be happy
And this way I am not
Why can he not admit
He still loves me too
How long will I go on
Tormenting myself again & again
Oh why can I not let go
Please tell me how and when.
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