“It’s April 2002, Monday the 8th.”
“Oh, shit. I’m dead that day.”
“Reusable plot hooks! Just like fishing hooks!”
“Amn’raia, you have that same dream, and you see…”
“Me! Because I’m hot!”
“You were in my dream, too! What a coincidence!”
“It means we’re meant to be together, Sen.”
“I pad over to the river and take a drink.”
“Yeah, it’s good Ganges water.”
“Eww! Did you take the Resist Toxin gift?”
“Dude, I’m a jackal.”
“Hey, it’s the monastery of the naked gremlin!”
“When in Greece, do as the Romans do.”
“You’re in luck. He doesn’t rage and kick your ass.”
“I’m sorry. Every time I look at you I think of you as the giant Scottish man with the eyepatch and the kilt, looking for shinys.”
“I’ll just get one of the village people to give me clothes, then.”
“What? You borrow clothes from the Village People? Which one are you—the construction worker, the sailor, or the Indian chief?”
“Heh. You made the Black Fury say ‘girdle.’”
“It smells pretty much the same. Mmm, death.”
“Now you’ve got a puffy raven on your shoulder!”
“They’re like, ‘Ow! Ow, hive mind! We’re getting poked!’”
“Nobody cares, you shifting-faced bitch.”
“They’re gonna die.”
“I know. It’s funny.”
“Is anyone else surprised that the girls are like, ‘Ooh, a puzzle!’ and the boys are like, ‘Rarrrr! Rage and attack?’”
“Roll your Intelligence, Iain. You know, that trait that tells you to get the fuck off the ceiling.”
“It smells kind of brimstone-y, kind of rotten-meat-ish…”
“It’s all right. I’ve got a meat shield.”
“Nope, nobody here. Just us spiders.”
“I have an Arsenal of souvenirs.”
“At least you aren’t metis, so you won’t start humping things.”
“…And the ones that you piss off by taking their eyes, man, those are the ones you’ve really gotta watch out for.”
“Relax, I’m just here for the cake. Ha, ha, ha. What do you want?” (Spoken by Death.)
“Wow, Saturday night and you’re studying!”
“And by studying we mean death.”
“And by death we mean drunk.”
“And by drunk we mean roleplaying.”
“Death is obviously Santa Claus.”
“Because no one ever dies on Christmas.”
“No, he just does them both at once!”
“Look, Timmy! I brought you death!”
“I sleep late. I like beds.”
“Oh, I thought you said ‘budding ham’ and I was like, flowers, pork, what?”
“There we go! Now I’m in Homid form. And I’m naked. But it’s okay, because I’m hot.”
“It’s the plot bus! It’s meant to take you where the plot is!”
“Would it be considered masturbation or an orgy if all my little crawlerlings had sex with each other?”
“If you have three arms, that means you have three armpits! Eeeeeeww!”
“I have a question. What’s wrong with you?”
“Disease! Huzzah!”
“Hey, open up the book that told us stuff.”
“I open up the book that tells us stuff.”
“We have a book that tells us stuff?”
“Oh, you want a three-armed hug, honey?”
“Whoever can eat the Corax the fastest, wins!”
“I don’t even pretend to know about weresnake sex.”
“Which arm do you do it with? Left, right, or right?”
“Rachel, can my Hunter character borrow your Werewolf character’s extra arm?”
“Hey, I’m just the GM. It’s not my fault that we have a Teflon snake.”
“It’s okay. I have a specialty in reading multi-limbed body language.”
“This guy goes through Gnosis like candy with this group.”
“Yeah, it’s like taking Gnosis from a werewolf baby!”
“Screw that, then. I already blew a kami and I don’t know her well enough to spend Gnosis on her.”
“Everybody knows that the ancient Egyptians were made of gold. They used to trade themselves on the black market.”
“You guys walk out…”
“And then the Nazis come!”
“Actually…that’s not far from the truth.”
“Ecofeminist Nazis. I hate these girls.”
“I would know yes, no, and SHINY!”
“Once you make sure that no one’s in the sewer…”
“Much information = much shinies.”
“Good little third party.”
“Mmm…a quarter.”
“What do you like to do that you have done?”
“Make Garou!”
“I’m sorry to have stalled your business, although it smells like you’ve had some fun.”
“Yes, we are the meat shields of Gaia.”
“They were humanoid. A little too humanoid.”
“Dmitrov. Shy. Needs help.”
“I’m near the death hole!”
“I’m gonna tell her that the Mokole stole our Kinfolk and we need to get her back.”
“Why do all of your characters end up lacking pants?”
“Do I speak Garou yet?”
“You speak enough to say ‘stupid Garou,’ ‘Wyrm spawn,’ and ‘rage and attack.’”
(after seeing 30 Mokole) “I fly down, draw three X’s in the dirt, and point toward the swamp.”
“Well…either there’s three of them, or there’s a porn going on over there.”
“Yeah yeah! Vysuka! Saw her awhile ago. She puked.”
“Do you have a Music score?”
“I don’t know. What do you think? Yeah, I was the best singer in my jackal pack choir.”
“I give the spider version of a thumbs up.”
“Um…we really, really need to get the Eye from you, because there are some really bad people coming after it, too.”
“So you’re saying you take it, you get creamed, and they take it anyway.”
“You realize you’re spending Willpower to break out of a shed? That’s sad.”
“Yeah, and she’ll have one incredibly short short so that Dmitrov can roll his Rage later on.”
“Would you like to spend a Rage point to kill #2?”
“Spend a point to kill?”
“That’s a pretty sweet deal.”
“Thank you, Arrow Fairy!”
“Spend that Rage like candy! Three moons are coming up!”
“Never send a fox to do a wolf’s job.”
“So the Mokole misses you, you hit but do no damage…”
“They’re playing patty-cake!”
“I like killing. Killing is good.”
“When an orgy goes bad!”
“Why can’t we just go around?”
“IT’S AN ISLAND!”
“…So from now on, you will not go anywhere without one of us to accompany you.”
“Ouch. Vysuka just got grounded.”
“Sure, she was working on her tan…in the middle of the night!”
“She’s pretty pissed off because this kind of thing usually doesn’t happen in her sept.”
“However, Mokole can just walk in and steal people.”
“Snake killing makes baby Sen-Jesus cry!”
“Time to roll up a new boyfriend…”
“I feel like shit.”
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I’m sorry, Vysuka. I should’ve given this to you earlier.”
“You’re fired.”
“Fired from being Garou!”
First words of a newbie gamer, when describing her
character:
“I’m going to be tall, because in real life, I’m short.”
“Mmm…roadkill…”
“We’re looking for a new pack member, and you seem like just the right kind.”
“The kind of guy who rages at the drop of a hat!”
“Corax want a cracker?”
“Corax want your EYES!”
“You can take a bus to Avalon?”
“I won’t tell! I promise!” (Says the Corax.)
“I’m just getting old.”
“What makes you say that?”
“My age.”
“You’re comparing Dmitrov’s love life to Survivor?”
“I give him three thumbs up!”
“I can eat bugs? Sweet! I go eat some bugs!”
“How many blood points in an ocelot?”
“Why does her third arm have vocal cords?”
“Do we know what Excalibur smells like?”
“You’re holding a nice bottle of 11th-century wine.”
“Mmmmm…vinegar.”
“Did you just say ‘platinum penis?’”
“No. I said my arms are clad in penis.”
“That’s right! You are female! Sweet!”
“In front of you is standing the most gorgeous, dazzling specimen of male beauty you’ve ever seen.”
“Hey! When did I get there?”
“Are you giving guided tours of King Arthur’s basement?”
“Is there blood? ‘Cause if there’s no blood, I’m not interested.”
“I ate bugs. I’m good to go.”
“I had an ocelot. Me too.”
“Hee hee hee! Yo-yo kitty!”
“Flaming cat on a string!”
“I’m not licking the cat. I don’t want a hairball.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault that your girlfriend stuck you on a whip and threw you into fire.”
“We’re gonna need a lot of hands to do this, and all my eight are gonna be busy.”
“I don’t wanna set off the dynamite in the nice spider lady’s cavern, okay?”
“It’s not every day that you let a giant spider suck the blood out of you.”
“If I have clothes that are dedicated to me, and I take them off to wash them, and then I shift to Crinos and then back to Homid, do my clothes magically appear on my body?”
“Does it count as bestiality if a raven sleeps with a wolf?”
“She has a bottle of shiny?”
“Let’s feed the bird mercury!”
“Sounds like a good idea to me!”
“People don’t like me because I’m metis.”
“And because you blow up soup and throw people into lakes!”
“Since when is a third arm a skeletal disorder?”
“We interrupt this dream to bring you a special nightmare…”
“I give him a kinfolk smile.”
“Is that a Gift?”
“No, it’s just the remember-I-can-bear-you-prestigious-children smile.”
“Fuck your undying gratitude.”
“He’d like to, wouldn’t he?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you guys later. I have to go do somebody on a train station floor…”
“Hi there, Death. You’re not here for any special reason, are you?”
“Actually, I’m just paying a visit to your mom.”
“That last quote was funny because it was kind of a ‘your mom’ joke.”
“Death is a Ragabash! Woohoo!”
“…But we all knew that Indiana was a little militant, so maybe we should’ve been on guard for it before we started throwing kitty-cats at mystery squares.”
“It’s Biblical Moses, not werewolf Moses.”
“Sweet! I’m a Nexus Crawler?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be driving this thing?”
“It’s on auto-pilot. Duh.”
“Well, what if a mountain pops up?”
“It’s okay. He’ll be back.”
“She.”
“Whatever. It’s a spider.”
“We should just start a werewolf breeding program or something.”
“They already have that. It’s called Kinfolk.”
“Face it, your kid sister has been repo’d.”
“I’d like to very quietly and very stealthily sneak up on the blood.”
“I just got a great name for our pack! The Roach Motel. Garou check in, they don’t check out!”
“Dmitrov’s a virgin, so he really doesn’t know what to do.”
“Insert tab A into slot A…”
“No! Slot A, not slot B!”
I have no idea what this was about:
“I don’t know where it went!”
“It’s in your pants, Iain.”
“Isn’t that where it’s always been?”
“Yeah, sometimes I can kind of feel it in there…”
“Yes, God has very strange no-fly-zone regulations.”
“You shouldn’t pick up girls in temples.”
Meeting Murg, the boneless Metis:
“He oozes into your pack.”
“Great.”
“I’d be a Theurge, but I’m not.”
“What is it, Zash? Timmy’s in the well?”
“I have three words for you: Rite of Talisman Dedication.”
“Well, my womb has an agitator.”
“You’re the bastard love child of a wolf and a fox.”
“They’re talking crazy talk.”
“Damn those domesticated spirits!”
“White boards don’t kill trees, you bastard.”
“How many licks does it take to get to the center of evil commando man?”
“I’m not asking the alpha because if I do, I think he’ll kill me, and I like life.”
“You complete me.”
“Did you just say that you’re having his baby?”
“Mmm, vampire porn.”
“Are you guys going to eat breakfast today, or are you just going directly to hell?”
“I raise my leg, urinate on her, and run off shouting, ‘Don’t eat the yellow Snow!’”
“Is Murg on the airplane?”
“Yes.”
“Cool! I go over and poke his puddle!”
“How was the lake?”
“Silver.”
“Do it on horseback with Maid Marian’s Ride O’ Love!”
“Give us all your cash, and maybe then I’ll take off my pants.”
“These guys need to be beaten with the Litany stick.”
“I don’t really get to do a lot of lying. But I should.”
“I’m gonna spend two points of Gnosis and then just poink it into her.”
“Roll Perception plus Alertness to see if you can find some saliva.”
“What do you call people that dance around and do all sorts of crazy-ass shit?”
“Um…tourists?”
“Wait a minute, why am I on the defensive? You’re the one who’s standing under the ‘fertility’ sign.”
“The Third Law of Thermodynamics is, you suck.”
“Wait a minute. Sense Of The Tree is definitely not a Gift.”
“What I really want to know is, can I shove Murg up somebody’s nose?”
“You’re looking for a politically correct term for ‘meat shield?’”