About ten minutes later Brian asked Stefan to get him something to drink - something strong, he insisted. Stefan didn’t quite know how to come by "something strong" on an ordinary charity party. He was quite convinced they didn't hand out Blackjacks or Vodka-RedBulls here, but he was determined to try as hard as he could.

He made sure Brian looked somewhat human and not overly devastated and then left the bathroom in search for a magic potion that'd lift Brian's mood. In the corridor he saw the figures of two people busily snogging. He walked up to them and tugged Steve's sleeve.

The drummer leered at him without breaking the kiss with Annette.

"I need your help," Stefan said. "It's Brian."

Annette and Steve sighed and turned to him.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

"He just met his teenage love. Frank. Remember?"

"The guy on the photo?"

"Yes. And he still looks good, it seems, and he still has an enormous effect on Bri. And he's here with his fiancée."

Annette made a soft sound. "Poor Bri!"

"Yes," Stefan replied, sighing.

Steve looked worried. "Where is he?"

"He's in that bathroom there. I'm just trying to find him some drinks, but I don't like the idea of him being alone in there too long, so if you two could maybe..."

"Of course!" Steve interrupted. "Search away, we'll comfort him."

"No," Annette said decidedly. "You help Stef. The last thing poor Bri needs now is another guy he once had a crush on!"

"But-"

"Go! Shoo! Find something to drink! And get some for me as well!" With that, she turned and walked into the bathroom.

Steve looked at Stefan and shrugged.

The bassist smiled. "Whoa, she's got you, huh?"

"Yupp. Quite entirely so. Come on, let's find some booze as the lady ordered."

They walked back to the room the party was held in and started the holy quest, but without much success. At last Steve convinced one of the young girls serving drinks to just hand him her tray with slightly alcoholic drinks and gestured across the room to Stefan to do the same. They met at the door and walked across the corridor once more to the bathroom.

Brian was still sitting on the same spot on the ground, looking as miserable as before. Annette sat next to him, stroking his head.

"Here, Bri, that's all we could find," Stef said with an apologetic smile, "but it's not entirely impossible to get drunk on champagne and stuff like that, is it?"

"Thanks, guys, you're too sweet," Brian answered, voice feeble and hoarse. Stefan noticed that his mascara was smeared a bit. So he hadn't been able to entirely suppress tears. Stefan's pity increased.

He and Steve sat down opposite to "the two girls", as Steve called them jokingly, and they all started to empty the trays, taking care that Brian got the most of it.

At one time, the bathroom door opened. "Sorry!" shouted Steve without even turning his head. "Private orgy!" Whoever had dared to disturb them, he or she left hurriedly and without any word.

The good effect of this was that it caused Brian to snigger. "You wish..." he said to Steve.

Steve grinned back. "Not really."

"Aw, come on, you know that you want me... bitch..."

Steve made a small jump at Brian, who tried to save himself by moving to the left. Unfortunately, that was exactly where Annette was sitting so he ended up halfway in her lap with Steve on top of him.

"Orgy indeed," Stefan said dryly and smiled.

The other three threw him venomous glances and disentangled themselves.

"Ready to face the hostile world out there now?" Stefan asked Brian.

Brian sighed. "Yeah. Can't stay in here forever." He smirked evilly. "Well, of course I could. It seems some people exist while spending all their life in a closet..."

"Just ignore the bastard," Annette said. "Who needs a coward like that?"

"Yeah." Brian got up, swooning a bit as he did so. "Shocking, isn't it? That a guy who sneaked around coming out some eleven, twelve years ago is still able to do the same..."

"Just like Christian," Stefan pointed out.

Brian pondered this. "Yeah," he then said thoughtfully, "sort of. But at least Christian doesn't have a fiancée, does he?"

Brian felt rather tipsy when they were back at the party. Steve had suggested to leave, but Brian felt stubborn. He wasn't going to show Frank how much he had hurt him. He was going to have some fun here, to see if he could find some more friends (and booze) and he was bloody well going to enjoy himself, dammit!

He and Annette walked through the crowd hand in hand, badmouthing whoever they thought to be unworthy of their presence. Brian very much liked Annette, she was such a great buddy and Steve really loved her. She also was very crazy about him, which increased Brian's affection for her a lot. Whoever made one of his bandmates happy had to be a good person. They had left Steve and Stefan to themselves to have some "girl's fun", as Annette said, which mostly consisted of chattering, giggling and discretely pointing at people who looked ugly.

Brian couldn't see Frank or his horrible fiancée anywhere - not that he was looking out for him, he tried to convince himself, knowing that he did exactly that. Annette noticed as well but was kind enough to keep her mouth shut about that.

After about half an hour they met the other two again, obviously busy with emptying as many glasses as possible.

"It's free!" Stefan explained when Brian raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"And it's not even too bad," Steve added.

Annette frowned at him. "If you're too drunk to do anything later this evening, Steven, I swear I'll sleep on the couch!"

Brian and Stefan exchanged glances and giggled.

"Now we know who the guy is in your relationship, Stevie-peevy," Brian sniggered, "it's always the one who sleeps on the couch..."

"Except in heterosexual relationships, it's the one that has a dick", Steve replied with a smirk.

Brian stared for a second. "Oh. Yeah. Right. Sorry, Annette, wasn't personal, I'm just -"

"Not used to people of different genders being together?" Annette asked, grinning.

"Uhm - I was going to say 'completely pissed' but your choice of words works as well." Brian smiled sheepishly.

"So, what now?" asked Steve. "Are we going?"

"Trying to avoid the huge empty bed?" Annette asked jokingly. "No, I don't want to leave yet. As Stef said, the booze is free... would be a shame to miss it. And if you're lucky, I'll be just as pissed and unwilling as you and we can both just lie in the bed avoiding to vomit."

"Sounds great," Steve admitted. "How about a quick step outside then?"

Stefan and Brian groaned as the two disappeared outside again.

"Do they EVER do anything else?" Stefan shook his head.

Brian watched them leave. "Lucky bastard. And bitch."

"Yeah." Stefan sighed. "But you know what? We'll have fun as well. If nothing funny happens tonight, we'll just walk over to your apartment later on and fuck like rabbits, how about that?"

Brian frowned. "I thought we'd quit doing that for the sake of the band?"

"Oh, come on! One time won't hurt! You still owe me from when Steve interrupted us! I wanna cum!"

Stefan said the last words rather louder than he'd planned, but he only noticed that when several heads turned into his direction. Brian began to snigger madly, and Stefan only hoped he wasn't blushing too badly.

"Very kinky," Brian said quietly, still grinning all over his face, "may I use that line in a song?"

"Do whatever you want to do, kink fairy!" Stefan growled, unable to suppress a smile. "Now that I'm done with completely making a fool out of myself, what do we do?"

"A fool?" Brian smirked. "I'd call it 'keeping up the band's image', you know?"

"YOU're the outrageous member," Stefan reminded him. "I'm the tall Swedish mute."

"You're not doing a good job then."

"Fuck you!"

They grinned at each other and went for some more drinks, but then Brian realized that you can’t just pour in more and more drinks without having to get them out again.

"Scuse me," he muttered, grinning at Stefan, "I think I'll retreat into my bathroom for a second."

Stefan laughed. "Okay, back to the closet then, fag..."

"Yeah, I love you too." To illustrate this, Brian rose on tiptoes and pressed a wet sloppy kiss onto Stefan's mouth before hurrying outside.

He let out a moan of relieve at the sight of the bathroom, fled inside, locked it and followed Mother Earth's call with utmost fervor. Damn it, he thought, I never realized how great a good piss can feel...

He put his clothes back in order, smoothened his skirt and stepped outside - only to face Frank.

"Oh. Hi. It's all yours," he said with a polite smile and started to walk away.

"I'd like to talk to you," Frank said - no, asked quietly.

Brian stopped and looked at him, sarcastically raising an eyebrow. "Oh, really? And what makes you think I want to talk to YOU?"

Frank squirmed. "I - I just... I don't know..."

Brian sighed. "All right then, spit it out," he said then, his voice increasingly angry and aggressive with each word. "What do you want to tell me? That you're sorry you never wrote back after I wrote you about how I told my mom about our relationship? How you never ever gave me any kind of sign again, not when I finished school, not even when I turned eighteen? That you wish you'd come out of the closet some decade ago, because now you have this stupid financier - pardon, fiancée to take care of?"

Frank squirmed even more. His eyes had been fixed onto the floor during Brian's small speech, but now he raised his glance and shyly looked at him. "Yes," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "That's it, sort of."

Brian stood helpless. He had expected coolness or perhaps a fight. "So. Now I've said it for you, we're done, aren't we?" he said finally.

Frank gave him an intense look that went right down Brian's spine and into his groin. "I was a jerk," Frank said sheepishly.

"Yes, you were. I mean, I expected you to write at least three letters. None at all was a bit harsh."

Frank shook his head miserably. "I can only say that I'm sorry."

"Why the fuck are you dating that girl, Frank? You're gay, dammit, you can't have forgotten that!"

Frank blushed. "Brian..."

"No! Frank!" Brian spat angrily. "What kind of show are you pulling of here? Tell me, are you going to marry that little wench?"

"She's no wench," Frank replied, but not very enthusiastically. "And yes, I suppose."

"You suppose?" Brian gaped at him. "I'm sorry to tell you, Frankie, but you - don't - like - women!"

"Look, what is it to you, huh? I came to say I'm sorry and I did, and that's it, what I do and who I marry is none of your fucking business, okay?"

Brian just stared, which seemed to make Frank quite uneasy.

"Look," he said, squirming slightly under the intense gaze, "things aren't easy. Everybody gets married and has children, you know, it's a stupid tradition but it's a tradition, and -"

"Your parents still don't know that you prefer cock, then?" Brian interrupted mercilessly.

Frank blushed violently, and Brian sighed deeply. "They don't," he said and shook his head. "All those years, and they never ever had a clue, right?"

"My... my mom asked me once..." Frank swallowed. "I said that was bullshit."

"And now she expect you to deliver grandchildren."

"Yes."

Brian made a helpless gesture. "Frank, you can't do that!"

"Why not, everybody does!"

"But you don't love her!" Brian almost shouted with fury at Frank's utter lack of uprightness. "But she'll think you love her, and sooner or later you'll start to fuck with some guys to vent off!"

Frank's gaze grew cold. "Well," he said then, his voice dangerously low, "she'll never have to know about that."

Brian gaped at him. "Frank, are you listening to what you're saying there?"

They stared at each other for some seconds. Finally, Frank lowered his eyes and leaned against the wall with a helpless sigh. "Sheesh, Bri, get of my back, my life's a mess without you stirring in it, okay?"

"But why?" Brian insisted. "Everything went so perfectly for you! The college you wanted, a job with languages, you should be happy!"

"Maybe," Frank answered with a small, unhappy and bitter smile, "maybe I should have chosen Dionysos as well, just like you, instead of the bureaucrats and high society..." He closed his eyes and sighed again. "I miss the stage," he said then, sounding incredibly lost. "I fucked up. Everything. I hardly know the guy I see in the mirror each morning."

Brian didn't know what to do. He felt the strong urge to hug Frank, to tell him everything would be fine, to let him cry in his arms, to comfort him, to take him home with him - not necessarily to fuck, though that would be a nice addendum, but to talk, to cry, to find a way out of this misery... But he didn't dare. He didn't know Frank anymore. He couldn't just treat him like they were still lovers - or friends, for that matter.

So he only said: "Frank, maybe you should try to find out who that guy is, then. Cause I remember a time when you most certainly knew him very well."

Frank opened his eyes and gave him the saddest look Brian had ever seen, accompanied by the most helpless shrug.

Brian shooed away all restraints and put his arms around him.

He could feel Frank sob as he buried his face against Brian's neck. "I'm such an idiot," he whispered hoarsely.

"Seems so," Brian answered, unable to be angry with him for the heartache from teenager times. "God, Frank, what happened to you? Since when do you have problems with being gay?"

Frank only shrugged, drawing in a deep breath. Then he softly moved away from Brian, freeing himself from his embrace. "I'm sorry," he said, voice strained with control, "I shouldn't have bothered you. I - I'm really sorry. About how I never wrote or phoned. About how I screwed up. About how - how I treated the first person I ever... really..." He sniffed and blinked back tears.

"Loved?" asked Brian, feeling close to tears as well.

Frank nodded. A small tear escaped his left eye and ran down his cheek. "I'm so sorry!" he whispered. "Believe me, in every sense of the word I'm sorry! For you because I hurt you so much, and for me for being such a fucking coward..."

Brian wiped away the tears that had appeared in his eyes without caring that he totally smeared his mascara again, which he had painstakingly cleared up after crying over Frank just about an hour ago. "Do you realize what you've destroyed?" he asked feebly. "What it could have been?"

"Believe me, I do." Frank smiled bitterly. "I started twenty letters at least but I could never finish them. Not when I knew that your mom would realize they're from your lover."

Brian shook his head. "Frank, how long are you going to go on like this?"

"I don't know."

"You have to end this, don't you realize that? You're destroying yourself!" Brian laughed hard. "And the funny thing is, you know, people constantly tell me I'M self-destructive with all my lovers and drugs. But that's not half as bad as you are!"

"I know." Another tear ran down Frank's cheek.

Before Brian realized what he was doing, he had leaned forward to Frank and licked away the tear, grazing the corner of Frank's mouth with his tongue as he did so.

And before Frank realized what he was doing, he had pulled Brian close to him for a deep passionate snog.

[Warning!!! I'll be away for the whole of August. I will not be able to finish the story before that since it'll be very long, maybe even longer than Luxemburger Queen. I'm not even sure about how many parts I'll be able to put up till then. You have been warned... :) But don't worry, I'll continue to write this as soon as I come back.]