[I don't know whether Steve EVER had a girlfriend called Annette - this is pure fiction, okay? :)

And by the way: great thanks to Tool, the "Lateralus"-record is what I've been writing a great deal of this story with - except for the parts written while listening to Nick Cave (the sad parts, *siiiigh*).]

"How do I look?"

Stereo sighs of annoyance. "Smashing, babe." - "Gorgeous as ever."

Brian groaned. "THAT bad?" He vanished in the bathroom once more.

Stefan and Steve threw each other looks that would have killed Brian if he had stood in the center of them. Annette, Steve's girlfriend, only giggled.

"Sometimes..." muttered Stefan.

"You know," Steve said with a slow, dangerous voice, "I really don't mind fags. I'm a really tolerant, open-minded person. But this peculiar little queer is... is..."

"Ripping your balls apart?" Stefan chimed in helpfully with an understanding expression.

"Exactly!" growled Steve, tapping his finger impatiently against the bathroom door. "Come out, dolly, you're pretty enough! Annette takes HALF as long in the bathroom as you!"

"Are you sure it'll do?" Brian's voice emerged.

"YES!" the two other men shouted.

"You ALWAYS look SO pretty," Annette added.

"And we're running late," Stefan added, "what do you think is worse, to not be the center of attention or to embarrass yourself by being late?"

Brian muttered something under his breath and opened the door. "Okay," he said. "I'm just nervous."

"Then quit being nervous," Steve said, winking, "you're the invincible Brian Molko, friend to Bono, David Bowie and other important people."

"But there are going to be so many MORE important people tonight!"

"So you'll make some more friends," Stefan groaned, "come on now!"

"O-kay, but if anyone laughs at me, I'm gone!" Brian grabbed Steve's arm. "So, Mr. Hewitt, will you accompany me to the partay?"

"No, he won't!" Annette said with faked anger, grabbing Steve's other arm. "You can go with Stef!"

"Awww!"

"I mean it!"

"What kind of partay is THAT going to be?" Brian pouted and slipped under Stefan's arm so that the taller man was forced to hug him.

Stefan groaned with mental pain. "Can't you pretty please call it party just for once?"

"Nope."

Two more sighs from two different throats and another giggle from Annette, and the quartet left Brian's apartment to go to "this thingy" Brian had only recently discovered on his calendar, a thingy which was in fact a charity party where a "whole buncha really huge people" were going to be.

"Don't really know why we're going there anyway," Brian declared while they approached the building the party was held, "we already know half of the people anyway!"

"Stop playing the VIP-bitch just for some minutes, will you?" Steve asked, looking annoyed.

Brian sheepishly glanced at him. "Sorry. Have to start getting into the right attitude for talking to these people."

"Then get the attitude somewhere else, not with me."

"Yes, Stevie."

They turned some heads when they entered the room. They were quite a sight indeed: Steve was presenting himself as the all-classic white suit gentleman with Annette wearing a long black dress with a lot of glittering sequins on it. The pale skin of her bare shoulders contrasted nicely with that, and the way she had put up her long brown hair was, Brian had to admit, not only extraordinary but also very beautiful.

Stefan wore a simple black jacket over a white T-Shirt and his best black jeans, something Brian had found outrageous. They had all smartened up, but Stefan seemed to boycott it. That hadn't prevented Brian from wearing his new favorite dress, which had the dark-blue color of midnight with quite some glitter on it and which had forced him to spend 20 minutes skimming through his makeup-stuff just to find the right nail varnish and lipstick to match the exquisite color. To this he had added rather kinky-looking fishnet tights which, as Stefan put it, covered a higher percentage of his body than the rather short dress did.

They started to walk around together a bit, greeting people they knew and being introduced to new faces. Brian immediately started to concentrate on the free drinks, and all Annette seemed to be thinking about was to get Steve into a private corner in the corridor, and that as quick as possible. Brian couldn't really blame her. He had tried that often enough himself, but unlike Annette he had never succeeded.

"Lucky bitch!" he sighed therefore when Steve threw Stefan and him an apologetic smile and vanished through the door.

"Hey, you have me!" Stefan pouted.

"Are you going to slip outside with me then for some snogging or a quick blowjob?"

"No."

"See?"

Stefan laughed. "All right, Grumpy the Dwarf, I'm going to have some fun tonight. If you insist on being the devil's little sister, feel free to do so, but not in my presence." He bowed and planted a quick kiss on Brian's hair. "See you."

"Yeah, fuck you too!" Brian grunted, watching his bassist walk away and mingle with the crowd. At the same time, he was angry with himself for not being able to enjoy this event. Christian's gaffe the other week had effected him more than he wanted to admit even to himself, and all the partying in general was slowly but steadily eating up his nerves. He felt more tired than he ever thought was possible, but there was no end of it near. Yet what he really needed wasn't a break, he had realized, it was SOMEONE. Someone who cared. About him, about the real him, that was; someone who'd just be there if he needed him, somebody who'd love him and somebody he could love back.

He slowly started to walk around the vast room.

Someone who wouldn't be fooled by his little escapades and charades. Someone who'd tell him if he did too much. Someone who'd tell him to take care of himself, to watch out... someone who wouldn't be blinded by the famous Brian Molko, someone who wouldn't be too shy to tell him to stop being annoying... someone who'd change the world for him ... someone who-

"Frank?" Brian gasped, absolutely stunned.

The figure in front of him turned around to face him - and stared.

"Frank!" Brian exclaimed, still not believing his eyes.

"Urrmhmm..." Frank stared a little more and blinked. "Hello..."

Brian felt a bit taken aback. "Brian. Molko. Luxembourg, you kn-"

"Of course I know!" Frank interrupted. "Forgive me for taking a second to cope with my surprise!" He smiled, and Brian immediately drowned in that smile. Yupp, that was the genuine Frankie-smile. A gorgeous smile. Not many men could smile like that. Was this a sign from Heaven? Was there a God after all? Brian made a mental note to contact his mother over this.

"So..." he said, trying to regain control over himself and examining Frank's appearance. He sure looked great. He had become a tiny bit more muscular, it seemed, but not too much; it was a shame, though, that he'd cut his cute reddish hair so short. But he still had his freckles after all... Brian remembered how he'd traced patterns with his fingers after lovemaking by combining the pale dots...

"So..." Frank said, looking at him in about the same way Brian must have been looking at him. Brian felt a faint heat rising in his face.

"What - what are you doing here?" Brian asked at last.

"Uhm - attending a charity party, what does it look like to you?"

Brian frowned. "Haha. Very funny. I mean, why are you here?"

"Oh, I'm working with the European Union, you know - minority languages, and my boss got invited and invited me to join him."

"Cool."

"Yes." Frank beamed at him.

"European Union, huh? I wouldn't say that too loud here, you're in England after all..."

They both grinned at each other.

"So, and how about you, what are you doing here?" Frank asked.

"Uhm - I got invited as well, though who invited me I can't quite remember... probably David, I guess..."

"David who?"

"Bowie."

Frank stared at him.

Brian smiled proudly. "We - well, we've sort of become friends."

"Christ."

"Not really, no." Brian giggled.

"Wow. Where do you know him from? Stage? Are you still acting?"

"Uhm... no, not really."

"But did you go to Goldsmiths?" Frank asked, looking a bit disappointed.

"Yes, of course! Had my fun there. Right now I'm in a band."

Frank raised an eyebrow and Brian could have kissed him right on the spot for the sheer cuteness of it. "Band?"

"Yupp. We're called Placebo and we're set out to rule the world. That's how I know David, we opened for him on some concerts."

Frank blinked, looking deeply impressed. "Wow."

"Yeah." Brian smiled. "So I'm still on stage, just changed the profession a little."

"Kept your fancy for dresses, though," Frank said with a wicked little smile.

Brian blushed. "Uhm... yeah. At times." He suddenly felt the urge to throw Frank a little girl's smile and ask him whether he liked it, but he subdued that emotion. He hadn't met the guy for more than ten years. He was just one of his ex-lovers, no more special than the others. Except that he had been his first ex-lover. And one of the rare great loves of his live. And the first guy he'd slept with. Brian blushed even more at the memory of their mutual loss of virginity (where Frank had been even more nervous than Brian, who had had at least some experiences with physical contact due to his experiences with that French girl).

Frank's voice pulled him out of his memories. "So, are you enjoying yourself here?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Brian replied automatically, a bit disappointed that Frank obviously didn't want to engage in a deeper conversation. "How about you?"

"Oh, it's-" started Frank, but he was interrupted by a female voice:

"There you are!" A young blonde woman with short hair and a silver-gray dress approached them and stood next to Frank. "I've been searching for you all over this place," she said reproachfully.

Brian stared at her.

"Uhm..." said Frank. "Brian, this is - Sarah. Sarah Johnson. My - my fiancée. Sarah, this is Brian Molko, we both went to the same school in Luxembourg."

"Oh, really?" Sarah piped, flashing him a wide and not very intelligent smile. "Nice to meet you."

"My pleasure," Brian replied with more than just a hint of scathing sarcasm, which nevertheless totally escaped the girl. He felt like somebody had just kicked him into the groin while punching his stomach, spitting into his face and shouting the worst-ever insults into his ears with a megaphone.

"Frankie-honey, Carol sooo much wants to meet you," Sarah chimed with a typical higher-middle-class faked smile and one of the worst and thickest American southern accents Brian had ever heard, "you haven't been hiding from her, have you?"

"Of course not!" Frank replied with an expression indicating that that had been exactly what he'd been doing. "Urm, excuse us, Brian. Was nice meeting you."

"Yeah," Brian replied numbly, "see you then."

The couple walked off, leaving Brian standing alone, VERY alone in the middle of far too many people. His head was swimming. This can't be real, he thought, this is just a very bad dream. In a second Steve or Stef will wake me up and tell me the coffee's ready.

"Hey," said Stefan's voice next to his left ear.

Ah, see? Waking up already. Brian turned and realized he was still at the party and Stefan was there as well.

Stefan looked at him. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh."

"Who was that?"

Brian swallowed hard. "Frank," he then whispered tonelessly.

Stefan stared at him. "Nooo...."

"Yes."

"And - the girl...?"

"His fiancée!" Brian spat the last word. "His fucking fiancée! Can you imagine that? The jerk has the guts to come here and meet me and present me with his motherfucking bitch of a fiancée!" His throat suddenly felt very tight and tense.

Stefan looked at his friend who was obviously on the edge of tears. "Let's go outside for a moment, okay?"

Brian nodded mutely and allowed Stefan to gently push him outside the door, across the corridor and into the next room which Stefan hoped would be deserted. It was. It also was a bathroom, but that didn't matter now.

Brian sank down onto the floor immediately and drew in a sharp breath.

"Don't cry," Stefan said softly. "First of all, the asshole isn't worth it and secondly you'll smudge your makeup."

"I know," Brian said hoarsely. "It's just - it's just too much, you know?"

"Yes." Stefan sat down next to him. "I know."

"I wouldn't mind if he'd turned fat and ugly, but he's still gorgeous and so much like then and still..."

"And still, he has a fiancée."

"Yes."

Stefan put his arm around Brian. "Brian, that doesn't lessen the worth of what you two had together as teenagers."

"No." Brian sniffled. "But - but it does lessen the worth of Frank right now, doesn't it? Fiancée! The motherfucker is as gay as you are, if you excuse my comparison..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Absolutely! You can't get much gayer than Frank, unless you're Boy George!"

They sat in silence for a while with Brian busily blinking back tears.

"I really loved him."

"I realize that," Stefan answered softly.

"Guess part of me always has and still does."

Not knowing what to reply, Stefan just hugged him closer, holding him helplessly, feeling the shoulders shake slightly with the stifled sobs and choked-back tears.