The sheets tangle messily at my feet as I shift my position again, my arms folding underneath my head. I've watched the colors on the ceiling change from a pale, light blue to pink to yellow, which I guess means that I haven't had a wink of sleep.

The alarm on my nightstand goes off and my hand automatically reaches over to turn it off. I sit up and push the covers aside, the cool air causing me to shiver a little as I walk the few steps to the bathroom and turn on the water.

Twenty minutes later, I'm in the kitchen for the day's first cup of coffee. And that's when it catches my eye.

Her mug.

It takes a while before I realize that I've been standing here, holding a cupboard open and staring at a ceramic cup. Maybe because for the past twelve hours or so, I've been numb. Kind of like the feeling you get when you have a very bad cold - as if you have an invisible layer of thick cotton wrapped around you, and it takes a little bit longer for everything to sink in.

I take refuge in the sensation and descend gratefully back into it. Feeling nothing is just fine for me right now, thank you very much. All that analyzing-everything-until-it's-beaten-to-the-ground crap is a little too much, too early in the morning.

The office is still quiet when I arrive. I leaf through the drafts for Anne's website while my computer boots up and then immerse myself in work until the loft begins to buzz with life, co-workers getting in one by one.

"Good morning, Pacey." Anne greets me from the door, a tall cup of steaming coffee in hand.

"Morning," I reply without turning away from the monitor.

"Got some good news for ya." She says cheerfully as she sits down on the couch in my office and makes herself comfortable. She's here so much these days, it's almost like she works here now.

I do a quick save of my work before facing her expectantly. "What's that?"

She grins. "Well, we're halfway done here, so there's a big chance that Susan can take over for me again by tomorrow." She takes a sip of her coffee. "I'm starting to miss my own office. And I'm getting really sick of seeing yours."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "Deserting us so soon?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, what am I thinking, right? Especially since it's been such a blast working around here the past few days."

There's humor in her voice, but I know she's right. I haven't exactly been a joy to work with lately. Probably because I've been either distracted, moody or brooding. Yup, Mr. Sunshine. That's me. And that was before my conversation with Joey yesterday.

My laugh is self-deprecating and I nod, agreeing with her. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it," she assures me. "I guess I'm used to you by now."

Something flits in her eyes for a second, but it's gone before I can be sure that I read it correctly. Working together again hasn't been too bad for either one of us because we've kept the atmosphere on a friendly, professional level and, by some sort of silent mutual agreement, carefully avoided any kind of relationship talk. So right now she's probably wishing that she could take back what she just said.

I lean back in my chair and watch her, suddenly remembering what it is about Anne that made me attracted to her in the first place.

She reminds me of Joey.

Goddammit. Okay, so I didn't really think that I'd be able to avoid all thoughts of Joey for too long. But I had every intention of holding out for as long as I could; of not punishing myself with all this exhausting angst for as long as I could. I just wanted a break from all that… heaviness. And much as I miss Joey, well, thinking about her makes me feel like I have this enormous, unbearable weight pressing against my chest.

"Well, that's more than I can say for some these days." I shrug.

"Pacey," she begins quietly, staring into her coffee as she swirls it around in her cup. "I know it must be really hard right now…" Each word is said slowly, as if she's still debating the wisdom of saying them in her head. "But it's gonna get easier. You just have to hold on, you know?" She looks almost embarrassed by what she's saying to me, which only makes me appreciate her words even more. I know they must have been difficult for her to say.

"I know." I rub my eyes tiredly with my hand and groan out loud, shaking my head to rid myself of all these depressing thoughts. "So, what do you say we give this you-and-me thing another try, huh?" I tease laughingly, referring to work but deliberately giving the statement double meaning.

She laughs, too, playing along with the joke. "Well, as long as you - " She abruptly stops, her eyes fixed on the doorway to the office.

I follow her gaze to find Joey standing there, arms folded over her chest, unreadable expression on her face. "Hello, Anne. Pacey."